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So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of
While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So fam'd for his talent in nicely discerning.
In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,
That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind.
Then holding the spectacles up to the courtYour lordship observes they are made with a straddle,
As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Again, would your lordship a moment suppose ('Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again)
That the visage or countenance had not a Nose. Pray who would, or who could wear spectacles then?
On the whole it appears, and my argument shows, With a reasoning, the court will never condemn,
That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,
And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.
When shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows how) He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes:
But what were his arguments few people know, For the court did not think they were equally
So his lordship decreed with a grave solemn tone, Decisive and clear, without one if or but-That, whenever the Nose put his spectacles on, By day-light, or candle-light-Eyes should be shut!
THE PIG AND MAGPYE.
Cocking his tail, a saucy prig,
To pull some hair, forsooth, to line his nest;
The boar look'd up, as thunder black, to Mag, Who, squinting down on him, like an arch wag, Inform'd Mynheer some bristles must be torn ; Then busy went to work, not nicely culling; Got a good handsome beakful by good pulling, And flew, without a thank ye, to his thorn.
The pig set up a dismal yelling;
Who, like a fool, had built it 'midst a bramble:
And 'mid the bushes now began to scramble.
He drove the magpye, tore his nest to rags, And, happy on the downfall, pour'd his brags: But ere he from the bramble came, alack! His cars and eyes, were miserably torn, His bleeding hide in such a plight forlorn, He could not count ten hairs upon his back.
THE LOVE OF THE WORLD DETECTED.
Thus says the prophet of the Turk :
No friend or follower of mine
Such Mahomet's mysterious charge,
But for one piece they thought it hard
What joint the prophet had in mind.
He meant not to forbid the head;
Thus conscience freed from ev'ry clog,
You laugh-tis well-the tale applied
While one as innocent regards
A snug and friendly game at cards;
And one, whatever you may say,
Can see no evil in a play;
Some love a concert, or a race,
And others shooting, and the chase.
AGUR'S PRAYER PARAPHRASED.
Fortune! for thee whilst others sigh,
And some more loudly prayWelcome to pass my mansion by I ask thee not to stay.
Or rais'd above or sunk below
Too rich, and trusting in my might,
Too poor, against my sense of right,
Be wealth a blessing or a curse
Nor change for better or for worse,