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' It is, Sir, an old saying, and a true one, that a wise man may sometimes learn counsel from a ' fool; I wish therefore I miglit be so bold as to 'offer you my advice, which is to return home again, and leave these horrida bella, these bloody wars, to fellows who are contented to swallow gunpowder, because they have nothing else to eat. Now every body knows your honour wants ' for nothing at home; when that's the case, why should any man travel abroad
* Partridge, cries Jones, thou art certainly a * coward; I wish therefore thou would'st return • home thyself, and trouble me no more.'
* I ask your honour's pardon, cries Partridge, I spoke on your account more than my own; for as to me, heaven knows my circumstances are bad enough, and I am so far from being afraid, " that I value a pistol, or a blunderbuss, or any * such thing, no more than a pop-gun. Every man
must die once, and what signifies the manner ' how; besides, perhaps, I may come off with the • loss only of an arm or a leg. I assure you, Sir, I
was never less afraid in my life; and so if your * honour is resolved to go on, I am resolved to ' follow you. But, in that case, I wish I might give my opinion. To be sure, it is a scandalous
a way of travelling, for a great gentleman like you 'to walk afoot. Now here are two or three good
horses in the stable, which the landlord will cer* tainly make no scruple of trusting you with ; 'but if he should, I can easily contrive to take 'them; and let the worst come to the worst, the 'king would certainly pardon you, as you are going to fight in his cause.'
Now as the honesty of Partridge was equal to his understanding, and both dealt only in small matters, he would never have attempted a roguery of this kind, had he not imagined it altogether safe ; for he was one of those who have more consideration of the gallows than of the fitness of
things; but, in reality, he thoughat he might have committed this felony without any danger; for, besides that he doubted not but the name of Mr. Allworthy would sufficiently quiet the landlord, he conceived they should be altogether safe, whatever turn affairs might take; as Jones, he imagined, would have friends enough on one side, and as his friends would as well secure him on the other.
When Mr. Jones found that Partridge was in earnest in this proposal, he very severely rebuked him, and that in such bitter terms, that the other attempted to laugh it off, and presently turned the discourse to other matters; saying, he believed they were then in a bawdy-house, and that he had with much ado prevented two wenches from disturbing his honour in the middle of the night. “Heyday!' says he, “I believe they got into your chamber • whether I would or no; for here lies the muff of
one of them on the ground.' Indeed, as Jones returned to his bed in the dark, he had never perceived the muff' on the quilt, and in leaping into his bed, he had tumbled it on the floor. This Partridge now took up, and was going to put into his pocket, when Jones desired to see it. The muff was so very remarkable, that our hero might possibly have recollected it without the information annexed. But his memory was not put to that hard office; for at the same instant he saw and read the words Sophia Western upon the paper which was pinned to it. His looks now grew frantic in a moment, and he eagerly cried out, 'Ohheavens! how came this muff
here! “I know no more than your honour,'cried Partridge ; but I saw it upon the arm of one of 'the women who would have disturbed you, if I ' would have suffcred them.' Where are they?' cries Jones, jumping out of bed, and laying hold of his clothes. Many miles off, I believe, by this time,' said Partridge. And now Jones, upon further inquiry, was sufficiently assured that the
bearer of this muff was no other than the lovely Sophia herself.
The behaviour of Jones on this occasion, his thoughts, his looks, his words, his actions, were such as beggar all description. After many bitter execrations on Partridge, and not fewer on himself, he ordered the poor fellow, who was frightened out of his wits, to run down and hire him horses at any rate; and a very few minutes afterwards, having shuffled on his clothes, he hastened down stairs to execute the orders himself, which he had just before given.
But before we proceed to what passed on his arrival in the kitchen, it will be necessary to recur to what had there happened since Partridge had first left it on his master's summons.
The serjeant was just marched off with his party, when the two Irish gentlemen arose, and came down stairs; both complaining, that they had been so often waked by the noises in the inn, that they had never once been able to close their eyes all night.
The coach, which had brought the young lady and her maid, and which, perhaps, the reader may have hitherto concluded was her own, was indeed a returned coach belonging to Mr. King of Bath, one of the worthiest and honestest men that ever dealt in horse-flesh, and whose coaches we heartily recommend to all our readers who travel that road. By which means they may, perhaps, have the pleasure of riding in the very coach, and being driven by the very coachman, that is recorded in this history.
The coachman having but two passengers, and hearing Mi. Macklachlan was going to Bath, offered to carry him thither at a very moderate price. He was induced to this by the report of the hostler, who said that the horse which Nir. Macklachlan hac hired from Worcester, would be much more pleased with returning to his friends there, than to prose
cute a long journey; for that the said horse was rather a two-legged than a four-legged animal.
Mr. Macklachlan immediately closed with the proposal of the coachman, and at the saine time, persuaded his friend Fitzpatrick to accept of the fourth place in the coach. This conveyance the soreness of his bones made more agreeable to him than a horse; and being well assured of meeting with his wife at Bath, he thought a little delay would be of no consequence.
Macklachlan, who was much the sharper man of the two, no sooner.heard that this lady came from Chester, with the other circumstances which he learned from the hostler, than it came into his head that she might possibly be his friend's wife; and presently acquainted him with this suspicion, which had never once occurred to Fitzpatrick bimself. To say the truth, he was one of those compositions which nature makes up in too great a hurry, and forgets to put any brains into their head.
Now it happens to this sort of men, as to bad hounds, who never hit off a fault themselves; but no sooner doth a dog of sagacity open his mouth, than they immediately do the same, and without the guidance of any scent, run directly forwards as fast as they are able. In the same manner, the very moment Mr. Macklachlan had mentioned his apprehension, Mr. Fitzpatrick instantly concurred, and flew directly up stairs, to surprise his wife, before he knew where she was; and unluckily (as fortune loves to play tricks with those gentlemen who put themselves entirely under her conduct) ran his head against several doors and posts to no purpose. Much kinder was she to me, when she suggested that simile of the hounds, just before inserted; since the poor wife may, on these occasions, be so justly compared to a hunted hare. Like that little wretched animal she pricks up her ears to listen after the voice of her pursuer; like her, flies away trembling when she hears it; and like her, is generally overtaken and destroyed in the end.
This was not however the case at present; for after a long fruitless search, Mr. Fitzpatrick returned to the kitchen, where, as if this had been a real chace, entered a gentleman hallooing as hunters do when the hounds are at a fault. He was just alighted from his horse, and had many attendants at his heels.
Here, reader, it may be necessary to acquaint thee with some matters, which, if thou dost know already, thou art wiser than I take thee to be. And this information thou shalt receive in the next chapter.
In which are concluded the Adventures that hap
pened at the Inn at Upton. In N the first place, then, this gentleman just arrived was no other person than 'squire Western himself, who was come hither in pursuit of his daughter; and had he fortunately been two hours carlier, he had not only found her, but his niece into the bargain; for such was the wife of Mr. Fitzpatrick, who had run away with her five years before, out of the custody of that sage lady, Madam Western.
Now this lady had departed from the inn much about the same time with Sophia ; for having been waked by the voice of her husband, she had sent up
for the landlady, and being by her apprized of the matter, had bribed the good woman, at an extravagant price, to furnish her with horses for her escape. Such prevalence had money in this family; and though the mistress would have turned away her maid for a corrupt hussy, if she had known as