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If the sight of another man in his shirt at first added some shock to the decency of the lady, it made her presently amends by considerably abating her fears; for no sooner had the calabalaro entered the room, than he cried out : ' Mr. Fitzpatrick, what

the devil is the maning of this ?' Upon which the other immediately answered, ‘O, Mr. Macklachlan! 'I am rejoiced you are here.---This villain hath de'bauched my wife, and is got into bed with her.'What wife?' cries Macklachlan, do not I know

Mrs. Fitzpatrick very well, and don't I see that 'the lady, whom the gentleman who stands here in ' his shirt is lying in bed with, is none of her ?'

Fitzpatrick now perceiving, as well by the glimpse he had of the lady, as by her voice, which might have been distinguished at a greater distance than he now stood from her, that he had made a very unfortunate mistake, began to ask many pardons of the lady; and then turning to Jones, he said,

I would have you take notice I do not ask your pardon, for you have bate me; for which I am resolved to have your blood in the morning.'

Jones treated this menace with much contempt; and Mr. Macklachlan answered, “Indeed, Mr. Fitz

patrick, you may be ashamed of your own self, to 'disturb people at this time of night; if all the people in the inn were not asleep, you would have awakened them as you have me. The gentleman has served you very rightly. Upon my conscience,

though I have no wife, if you had treated her so, , 'I would have cut your throat.'

Jones was so confounded with his fears for his lady's reputation, that he knew neither what to say or do ; but the invention of women is, as hath been observed, much readier than that of men. She recollected that there was a communication between her chamber and that of Mr. Jones; relying, therefore, on his honour and her own assurance, she answered, 'I know not what you mean, villains ! Į

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am wife to none of you. Help! Rape! Murder! • Rape !'-And now the landlady coming into the room, Mrs. Waters fell upon her with the utmost virulence, saying, 'She thought herself in a sober ‘inn, and not in a bawdy-house; but that a set of • villains had broke into her room, with an intent ' upon her honour, if not upon her life ; and both, she said, were equally dear to her.'

The landlady now began to roar as loudly as the poor woman in bed had done before. She cried

She was undone, and that the reputation of her house, which was never blown upon before, was ' utterly destroyed.' Then turning to the inen, she cried, What, in the devil's name, is the reason of

all this disturbance in the lady's room?' Fitzpa. trick, hanging down his head, repeated, “That he • had committed a mistake, for which he heartily * asked pardon,' and then retired with his country: man. Jones, who was too ingenious to have missed the hint given him by his fair one, boldly asserted, • That he had run to her assistance upon hearing 'the door broke open ; with what design he could * not conceive, unless of robbing the lady; which, if they intended, he said, he had the good fortune to prevent.' I never had a robbery committed in .

my house since I have kept it,'cries the landlady: 'I would have you to know, Sir, I harbour no • highwaymen here; I scorn the word, thof I say it, • None but honest, good gentlefolks, are welcome 'to my house; and, I thank good luck, I have always had enow of such customers ; indeed as many as I could entertain. Here hath been my • lord' and then she repeated over a catalogue of names and titles, many of which we might, perhaps, be guilty of a breach of privilege by inserting.

Jones, after much patience, at length interrupted her, by making an apology to Mrs. Waters, for having appeared before her in his shirt, assuring her, " That nothing but a concern for her safety could

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. have prevailed on him to do it.' The reader may inform himself of her answer, and, indeed, of her whole behaviour to the end of the scene, by considering the situation which she affected, it being that of a modest lady, who was awakened out of her sleep by three strange men in her chamber. This was the part which she undertook to perform; and, indeed, she executed it so well, that none of our theatrical actresses could exceed her, in any of their performances, either on or off the stage.

And hence, I think, we may very fairly draw an argument, to prove how extremely natural virtue is to the fair sex: for though there is not, perhaps, one in ten thousand whois capable of making a good actress ; and even among these we rarely see two who are equally able to personate the same character; yet this of virtue they can ali admirably well put on; and as well those individuals who have it not, as those who possess it, can all act it to the utmost degree of perfection.

When the men were all departed, Mrs. Waters, recovering from her fear, recovered likewise from her anger, and spoke in much gentler accents to the landlady, who did not so readily quit her concern for the reputation of the house, in favour of which she began again to number the many great persons who had slept under her roof; but the lady stopt her short, and having absolutely acquitted her of having had any share in the past disturbance, begged to be left to her repose, which, she said, she hoped to enjoy unmolested during the remainder of the night. Upon which the landlady, after much civility, and many curt'sies, took her leave.

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CHAP. III.

A Dialogue between the Landlady, and Susan the

Chambermaid, proper to be read by all Inn-keepers and their Servants; with the arrival, and affable Behaviour of a beautiful young Lady; which may teach Persons of Condition how they may acquire

the Love of the whole World. THE landlady, remembering that Susan had been the only person out of bed when the door was burst open, resorted presently to her, to inquire into the first occasion of the disturbance, as well as who the strange gentleman was, and when and how he arrived.

Susan related the whole story, which the reader knows already, varying the truth only in some circumstances, as she saw convenient, and totally concealing the money which she had received. But whereas her mistress had, in the preface to her inquiry, spoken much in compassion for the fright which the lady had been in, concerning any intended depredations on her virtue, Susan could not helpendeavouring to quiet the concern which her mistress seemed to be under on that account, by swearing heartily she saw Jones leap out from her bed.

The landlady fell into à violent rage at these words. 'A likely story, truly,' cried she, that a

woman should cry out, and endeavour to expose 'herself, if that was the case! I desire to know what

better proof any lady can give of her virtue, than • her crying out, which, I believe, twenty people

can witness for her she did ? I bey, Madam, you 'would spread no such scandal of my guests; for it will not only reflect on them, but upon the house; and I am sure no vagabonds, nor wicked beggarly people, come here,'

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* Well,' says Susan, 'then I must not believe my own eyes. No, indeed, must you not always,' answered her mistress; ‘I would not have believed my own eyes against such good gentlefolks. I

I ' have not had a better supper ordered this half

year than they ordered last night; and so easy and 'good-humoured were they, that they found no * fault with my Worcestershire Perry, which I sold them for Champagne; and to be sure it is as well tasted, and as wholesome as the best Champagne ' in the kingdom, otherwise I would scorn to give 'it 'em ; and they drank me two bottles. No, no, • I will never believe any harm of such sober good • sort of people.

Susan being thus silenced, her mistress proceeded to other matters. 'And so you tell me, continued she, “that the strange gentleman came post, and

there is a footman without with the horses; why, . then, he is certainly some of your great gentle' folks too. Why did not you ask him whether he'd ' have any supper? I think he is in the other gen' tleman's room; go up and ask whether he called, * Perhaps he'll order something when he finds any body stirring in the house to dress it. Now don't

of your usual blunders, by telling ' him the fire's out, and the fowls alive. And if 'he should order mutton, don't blab out, that we have none. The butcher, I know, killed a sheep just before I went to bed, and he never refuses to cut it up warm when I desire it. Go, remember there's all sorts of mutton and fowls; go, open the * door with, Gentlemen d'ye call : and if they say ' nothing, ask what his honour will be pleased to ' have for supper? Don't forget his honour. Go; ; ' if you don't mind all these matters better, you'll never come to any thing.'

Susan departed, and soon returned with an account, that the two gentlemen were got both into the same bed, 'Two gentlemen,' says the landlady,

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