For more of smoke than fire was seen-
The hearth was pil'd with logs so green.
From hence in chaises we were carried
Miles twenty-four, and gladly tarried
At a small town, whose name my verse
(So barb'rous is it) can't rehearse.
Know it you may by many a sign,
Water is dearer far than wine.
Their bread is deem'd such dainty fare,
That ev'ry prudent traveller
His wallet loads with many a crust;
For at Canusium you might just
As well attempt to gnaw a stone
As think to get a morsel down;
That too with scanty streams is fed;
Its founder was brave Diomed.
Good Varius (ah, that friends must part!)
Here left us all with aching heart.
At Rubi we arriv'd that day,
Well jaded by the length of way,
And sure poor mortals ne'er were wetter:
Next day no weather could be better;
No roads so bad; we scarce could crawl
Along to fishy Barium's wall.
Th' Egnatians next, who by the rules
Of common sense are knaves or fools,
Made all our sides with laughter heave,
Since we with them must needs believe;
That incense in their temples burns,
And without fire to ashes turns.
To circumcision's bigots tell
Such tales! for me, I know full well,
That in high Heav'n, unmov'd by care,
The Gods eternal quiet share:
Nor can I deem their spleen the cause,
Why fickle nature breaks her laws.
Brundusium last we reach and there
Stop short the muse and traveller.
THE DESCRIPTION OF AN IMPERTINENT.
ADAPTED TO THE PRESENT TIMES, 1759.
SAUNT'RING along the street one day,
On trifles musing by the way---
Up steps a free familiar wight,
(I scarcely knew the man by sight.)
Carlos, (he cried) your hand, my dear;
Gad, I rejoice to meet you here!
Pray Heav'n I see you well ?" "So, so;
Ev'n well enough as times now go.
The same good wishes, sir, to you.”
Finding he still pursued me close---
"Sir you have business I suppose."
My business, sir, is quickly done,
'Tis but to make my merit known.
Sir, I have read"-
'---" O learned sir,
You and your learning I revere."
Then, sweating with anxiety,
And sadly longing to get free,
Gods, how I scamper'd, scuffled for't,
Ran, halted, ran again, stopp'd short,
Beckon'd my boy, and pull'd him near,
And whisper'd nothing in his ear.
Teas'd with his loose unjointed chat--"What street is this? What house is that?" O Harlow, how I envied thee
Thy unabash'd effrontery,
Who dar'st a foe with freedom blame,
And call a coxcomb by his name!
When I return'd him answer none,
Obligingly the fool ran on,
"I see you're dismally distress'd,
Would give the world to be releas'd.
But by your leave, sir, I shall still
Stick to your skirts, do what
you will.
Pray which way does your journey tend?” "O'tis a tedious way, my friend.
Across the Thames, the Lord knows where, I would not trouble you so far."
Well, I'm at leisure to attend you."
"Are you? (thought I) the De'il befriend you."
No ass with double panniers rack'd,
Oppress'd, o'erladen, broken-back'd,
E'er look'd a thousandth part so dull
As I, nor half so like a fool.
Sir, I know little of myself,
(Proceeds the pert conceited elf)
"If Gray or Mason you will deem
Than me more worthy your esteem.
Poems I write by folios
As fast as other men write prose;
Then I can sing so loud, so clear,
That Beard cannot with me compare.
In dancing too I all surpass,
Not Cooke can move with such a grace."
Here I made shift with much ado
To interpose a word or two.
"Have you no parents, sir, no friends, Whose welfare on your own depends?" "Parents, relations, say you? No. They're all dispos'd of long ago."—
Happy to be no more perplex'd!
My fate too threatens, I go next.
Despatch me, sir, 'tis now too late,
Alas! to struggle with my fate!
Well, I'm convinc'd my time is come-
When young, a gipsy told my doom.
The beldame shook her palsied head,
As she perus'd my palm, and said:
Of poison, pestilence, or war,
Gout, stone, defluxion, or catarrh,
You have no reason to beware.
Beware the coxcomb's idle prate;
Chiefly, my son, beware of that,
Be sure, when you behold him, fly
Out of all earshot, or you die."
To Rufus' Hall we now draw near; Where he was summon'd to appear, Refute the charge the plaintiff brought, Or suffer judgment by default.
For Heaven's sake, if you love me, wait One moment! I'll be with you straight," Glad of a plausible pretence
Sir, I must beg you to dispense With my attendance in the court, My legs will surely suffer for't."
Nay, prithee, Carlos, stop awhile!"
Faith, sir, in law I have no skill,
Besides I have no time to spare,
I must be going you know where,"
Well, I protest, I'm doubtful now,
Whether to leave my suit or you!"
"Me without scruple! (I reply)
Me by all means, sir!"-" No, not I.
Allons, Monsieur!" "Twere vain (you know)
To strive with a victorious foe,
So I reluctantly obey,
And follow, where he leads the way.
|