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tardly rogue!-Murder, murder! O thou honeysuckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers, and the king's! O thou honey seed rogue 33! thou art a honeyseed; a man-queller, and a woman-queller.
Fal. Keep them off, Bardolph.
Host. Good people, bring a rescue or two.-Thou wo't, wo't thou? thou wo't, wo't thou? do, do, thou rogue! do, thou hemp seed!
Fal, Away, you scullion! you rampallion; you fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.
Enter the Lord Chief Justice, attended. Ch. Just. What's the matter? keep the peace here, ho!
Host. Good my lord, be good to me! I beseech you stand to me! Ch. Just. How now, sir John? what, are you
brawling here? Doth this become your place, your time, and busi
ness? You should have been well on your way to York. Stand from him fellow; Wherefore hang'st thou on
him? Host. O my most worshipful lord, an't please your grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.
Ch. Just. For what sum?
Host. It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all, all I have: he hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his:-but I will have some of it out again, or I'll ride thee o’nights, like the mare.
Fal. I think, I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any vantage of ground to get up.
Ch. Just. How comes this, sir John? Fie! what man of good temper would endure this tempest of ex. clamation? Are you not ashamed, to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her own?
Fal. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Host. Marry if thou wert an honest man, thyself, and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel.gilt goblet 34, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber, at the round table, by a sea-coal fire, upon Wednesday in Whitsun-week, when the prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing-man of Windsor; thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me,
and make me my lady thy wife. Capst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, the butcher's wife, come in then, and call me gossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us, she had a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some; whereby I told thee, they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not, when she was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity with such poor people; saying, that ere long they should call me madam ? And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath; deny it, if thou canst.
Fal. My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says, up and down the town, that her eldest son is like you: she hath been in good case, and, the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you, I may have redress against them.
Ch. Just. Sir John, sir John, I am well acquainted with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false
way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level consideration; you have, as it appears to me, practised upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your uses both in purse and
person. Host. Yea, in troth, my lord.
Ch. Just. Pr'ythee, peace:-Pay her the debt you owe her, and unpay the villainy you have done with her; the one you may do with sterling money, and the other with current repentance,
Fal. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. You call honourable boldness, impudent sauciness: if a man will make court'sy, and say nothing, he is virtuous: No, my lord, my humble duty remember'd, I will not be your suitor; I say to you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the king's affairs.
Ch. Just. You speak as having power to do wrong: but answer in the effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman.
Fal. Come hither, hostess. [Taking her aside.
Gow. The king, my lord, and Harry prince of Wales
Fal. As I am a gentleman ;-
Fal. As I am a gentleman; -Come, no more words of it.
Host. By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to pawn both my plate, and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for thy walls,-a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work 36, is worth a thousand of these bed-hangings, and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou canst. Come, an it were not for thy humours, there is not a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and 'draw thy action: Come, thou must not be in this humour with me; dost not know me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.
Host. Pray thee, sir John, let it be but twenty nobles; i'faith I am loth to pawn my plate, in good earnest, la.
Fal. Let it alone; I'll make other shift: you'll be a fool still.
Host. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I hope, you'll come to supper: You'll pay me all together?