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I not rather hope, that, like our namesakes, the Romans, his country's misdeeds a foreigner will marvel that we shall be hailed throughout all time, England could have governed so ill, and Ireland submitted so tamely.

Romanos, rerum dominos, gentemque togatam.
Law, peace, and justice, at our feet shall fall,
And the white-shirted race be lords o'er all!"

We then begin with the biography of the Captain himself. The details of his boyish life enable the author to enter into a minute description of the domestic wretchedness of the lower Irish, and the melancholy state of their education. In speaking of the hedge school, at which he was himself instructed, he relates the following anecdote, which is but sad merriment, and "heavy lightness."

Memoirs of a Deist, written first A.D. 1793-4; being a Narrative of the Life and Opinions of the Writer, until the period of his Conversion to the Faith of Jesus Christ; which took place in the course of the developements of an Essay written by the Deist, to prove that Pure Deism was the only true Religion.

ment in the author's trunk, has been drawn forth to enTHIS is a narrative which after thirty years conceallighten, instruct, and entertain the world. The author very frankly gives us the following insight into his character at the time it was written :

"A few miles from our village, on the other side of the river, there was a school-master of much renown, and some Latin, whose pupils we had long envied for their posI session of such an instructor, and still more since we had "It appears necessary, in self-defence, to inform my been deprived of our own. At last, upon consulting with candid "reader, that when I first wrote this narrative, I my brother graduates of the hedge, a bold measure was rewas, perhaps, one of the most romantic simpletons in exsolved upon, which I had the honour of being appointed istence. I had it in my most deliberate purpose, to exhibit leader to carry into effect. my whole soul for public inspection, like an anatomical sub"One fine moonlight night, crossing the river in full force,ject, pro bono publico, as a warning to sinners, and also as a we stole upon the slumbers of the unsuspecting schoolmaster, valuable study for spiritual anatomists. At the same time, and, carrying him off in triumph from his disconsolate dis- I intended to remain incognito, if possible, without deciples, placed him down in the same cabin that had been feating the object of publication. For I was a bachelor, a occupied by the deceased Abecedarian. It is not to be sup- soldier, and an enthusiast: I therefore committed to paper posed that the transfluvian tyros submitted patiently to every thing that I knew or thought of myself, both good this infringement of literary property-on the contrary, and bad, in thought and word, as well as in deed; that the the famous war for the rape of Helen was but a skirmish whole naked truth might appear, for the information of my to that which arose on the enlevement of the school-master; moral and spiritual dissectors, and ultimately for the glory and, after alternate victories and defeats on both sides, the of God, in the confirmation of the truth of the Gospel." contest ended by leaving our party in peaceable possession of the pedagogue, who remained contentedly amongst us many years, to the no small increase of Latin in the neighbourhood."

The advice of a friend induced him to expunge at least one half of these exposures of himself; and he tells us with the most amusing simplicity that other friends are

This is a catalogue of the books of study which oc- desirous of expunging the remaining half. Having

cupy

the intellects of the lower Irish:

given way so materially to the suggestions of friendship "In History,-Annals of Irish Rogues and Rapparees. in one point, he resolved to be very deaf to them in "In Biography, Memoirs of Jack the Bachelor, a noto-another; and accordingly we have the work, taliter rious smuggler, and of Freney, a celebrated highway-qualiter, in a goodly octavo. The Rev. John Newton, In Theology,-Pastorini's Prophecies, and the Miracles of Prince Hohenlohe.

man.

In Poetry,-Ovid's Art of Love, and Paddy's Resource: "In Romance-reading,-Don Belianis of Greece, Moll Flanders, &c. &c.

Such being the leading works in that choice Catalogue, from which, according to the taste of the parties, is selected the chief reading of the Cottagers of Ireland.

So educated, and so governed, is it wonderful that the

ROCK FAMILY should flourish ?"

Rector of St. Mary's Woolnoth, says-" it may be one of the most useful publications of the age;" and the author himself seems to believe that it is sure to be so.

He begins with an open, unreserved avowal of his scanty preparations for authorship, by calling himself "an illiterate soldier." We have no room for any abridgment or even passages of his early biography. His opportunities of improvement were considerable, but in his boyhood he was accounted insane, and physicked so much, that he at last believed it himself. This enabled him to be as idle, and of course as ignorant as he pleased, and the result was very loose habits and scanty

The annals of Ireland are briefly but spiritedly traced down through all their varieties of misery, oppression, corruption and crime to the present day. It is a mournful retrospect, and gives rise to the most alarm-information. "Pope's Homer," "Rollin's History," ing apprehensions for the future. The Captain is finally arrested in the midst of his professional pursuits, tried and sentenced to transportation. His true name not being known saved him from the gallows.

Such is the brief abstract" of the last volume of Mr. Moore. No one can read it without being deeply affected. An Irishman will be in wrath for his country's sufferings-an Englishman will feel ashamed for

and twopenny drums excited his military ardour; and "he would be a soldier." But this was not yet to be.

At sixteen he fell in love with a young lady of some beauty. His passion was the most platonic imaginable. His soul doated on the young lady's soul; there was no sensuality about it, it was nothing less than a pure and exalted abstract of affection. "The image of divinity" goes into another county and fades a little

from his memory, but the last blow is given to the moral and pure affection, by his becoming acquainted with some of the faciles nymphæ of Drury Lane and Covent

Garden.

every degree and kind of blasphemy, sacrilege, indecency, and reprobacy! I had indeed soon ample cause to repent grievous insults, which I had so publicly offered to every most bitterly (had my eyes been opened) of these most law, whether of religion, morality, or decency. From that His guardian thinks of sending him out to India as a time forward, I became more rapidly and desperately viwriter, but he will be nothing but a soldier, and he iscious, gross, sensual, and almost devilish; for though my accordingly nominated to a cadetship. And here he bodily powers were exhausted by abuse, yet my imagination was still active, and ran through all the chambers of relates a melancholy instance of the shadowy nature of imagery!!!" his heroism and romantic virtue :

"Upon the whole, I will venture to say, that a near relation of mine was in great distress, as I heard, in poor lodgings, and in an ungenteel part of London, as I understood. I was exhorted to go and find him out, and relieve him. But I had no means of affording effectual relief, without making application to my old cross guardian in the country. The particular part of Holborn was not pointed out; and I dreaded being seen in any dirty lane or alley, enquiring for a poor man of my own name, by any of my genteel or dashing friends. Therefore, after much debate in my own mind, pride, and vanity, indolence, and false shame, prevailed over the desire which I really felt to assist the old man (whom I had only seen once in my life, when I was a child. But I confess that he then gave me half-a-crown to buy gingerbread; which circumstance has pained me more than any other recollection. It was like a worm in my bowels, or a barbed arrow in my breast). I therefore permitted the notice I had received to pass away unheeded, and stifled my sense of guilt, by the excuse of inability. It is evident from the above, that my || house was built upon the sand."

A brighter prospect opened upon him, and his wretchedness became the source of his bliss. He was obliged, in the excess of his misery, to fly to something like rationality for relief and protection. He chose a more sober mode of life, devoted himself to the duties of his profession, and set about improving and strengthening his intellectual faculties by the study of mathematics. The effects were most salutary.

The author at this part of his narrative stops to indulge in some very curious and original speculations. They are slightly touched with insanity, but they are singularly interesting. His religion was entirely of his own invention, and his deifications were not a little singular. Socrates came first in the list, our Saviour the second, aud Howard was the last. From Deism he rose a step to Unitarianism, and changed places with Socrates and our Saviour! As a fit corollary to these religious studies, he set about writing a metaphysical essay, to prove that "the body of a man was merely the He embarks for India, reads "Pope's Essay on Man," || shadow of his soul!" In the course of this essay, he disand becomes a deist in his principles; he reads Chester-covered that "the human soul was in itself both male field, and tries to become a gentleman in his manners, but frankly confesses that this was a failure. He tells us however, that his principles and his manners were both well fitted for the meridian of the East Indies. From some of the moral contamination which surrounded him he

contrived to escape; but in regard to one passable species of sensuality, he was as bad as the worst; still there was a romantic speculative love burning in his bosom for all the heroic virtues and for military glory. In pursuance of this passion he provokes a brother officer to fight a duel, but fails; he then brings him to a court martial, and fails again. He is "cut" by the regiment, and vents all his spite upon the Bible :

and female!" This was mad enough in 1792, but the note written in 1824 is still more insane. The friends of the author might with justice ask him to reduce his intellectual aberrations "to the standard of 92."

From "the study of geometrical figures, such as circles, squares, and triangles, with a reference to moral and spiritual truth," our author arrived at a conviction of the existence of the devil! The consequence of this conviction was a belief in the existence of God! With this last belief came that of the divinity of our Saviour, and lo! he is a perfect christian. All this part of the memoirs is mixed and mingled with most enthusiastic and insane speculations, and cannot be read without an indescribable feeling of compassion and wonder. Here is a specimen :

"I must now add, that the writer of this Narrative, after the above-mentioned examination, and insane and impious judgment concerning the Holy Scriptures, "The equilateral triangle, or chord of 1200, and the hexaand the Christian faith; consummated his blasphe-gon, or chord of 600, are, in my Essay on the analogies of mous madness, by seizing the sacred volume in a rage, geometry, shown to be emblems of the letter of the law throwing it upon the floor, and out of the house!!! And without the Spirit. It is in this snare, as in a cobweb, that yet this shocking reprobate still lives, and believes the the devil catches the souls of men; for the letter being same glorious volume to be the very word of God, and de-only equal to the radius, whilst the spirit of it is equal to sires, hopes, and prays to live and die in this blessed faith the sinus totus, or chord of 90, they are enabled for a time and obedience, as the only truth, and name, and way, to conform to the letter, (as legal hypocrites) externally, given to mankind, whereby we must be saved. Amen. until they are tempted to transgress the letter openly, Glory be to God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. which being felonious, they are hanged. Thus the letter Amen. killeth, but the spirit giveth life,' for the Lord and His Gospels are that Spirit.'"-2 Cor. iii.

"I must here forbear to relate a singularly vile, insane,|| impious and scandalous frolic, which I committed in a Portuguese Church, full of images of saints, which had been converted into a magazine for military stores, during the siege of Basseen, near Bombay. But why should I say one? I must omit many, in which were combined almost

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"I was, therefore, suddenly assaulted with such floods of dreadful thoughts, as overwhelmed my reason in a moment. In short, the gulfs of perdition seemed to open before me at every step, and I was almost drowned in the

great metaphysical deep! Then I felt, and thought I un- The title of the Drury Lane piece is Zoroaster; or, the derstood something of the following texts: When He Spirit of the Star: that of Covent Garden-The Spirits of raiseth up himself, the mighty are afraid; by reason of the Moon; or, the Inundation of the Nile. The latter is BREAKINGS,' (of the sword of reason) they purify them-superior in composition and dramatic interest, the former selves. The SWORD of him, that layeth at him, cannot in splendid scenery. Indeed, the succession of views called hold, the SPEAR, the DART, nor the HABERGEON. He "the Eidophusikon," (borrowed from Loutherbourg) is unmaketh THE DEEP to boil like a pot; he maketh THE SEA paralleled in point of variety, splendour, skilful execution, like a pot of ointment. He is a KING over all THE CHILDREN and general effect. When we can have such views of OF PRIDE.-Job, xli. See description of Leviathan." Rhodes, Naples, the Pyramids, and all the marvels of Egypt and Persia, &c. seven shillings a night, we do not see any use in spending hundreds, and hazarding life, to visit the realities. Stanfield is, indeed, a wonderful artist. At the other house there is a similar series of scenes, which is very beautiful, but inferior, we think, to those at Drury Lane. In spite of the vast expense to which the proprietors must have put themselves-in spite, too, of the unequalled excellence in point of art which these pieces display, they are neither of them likely to be successful. Eight or a dozen nights each, will be the extent of their existence. The audience is tired of mere show and sound: they take it as an insult that such trash as the dialogue of these melodramas, should be thrust upon their likings "against the stomach of their sense." None but children are ever caught twice with a gilded pill. Who the authors may be, we know not, but it is impossible to conceive any thing more destitute of wit, sentiment, ordinary interest, or even decent English. It is worse than ridiculous in managers to present such trash to the public,-it is beneath the dignity of the meanest audience to listen to it in silence.

"To complete as soon as possible my deliverance from the horrors which had fastened on my mind, as the natural and judicial consequences of my faithless folly, I resolved to read some light, entertaining book, which might divert my spirit; I therefore wisely took up the Arabian Nights' Entertainments. But I here experienced a severe reproof and chastisement for my folly. The enemy was immediately permitted to suggest such tremendous, detestable. unutterable impieties and blasphemies to my imagination, that I suddenly started up, and, throwing away the book, I ran out of my tent in a transport of horror, terror, and almost desperation. I then ran in again, not knowing how to escape from myself, and quite distracted for a time. Then, as the last resource, I betook myself to prayer; but the same horrors presenting themselves, even then, I was forced to stop short through fear, lest the wrath of heaven should strike me in an instant to hell, for daring to offer a sacrifice so full of pollution and abomination."

But we cannot dwell any longer on this volume. The The minor Theatres.-The Easter pieces are better writauthor settles into a sincere and fervent christianity, ten at the small houses than at the great. These last think which is tinged with all the wildness of a weak and ram- to carry every thing by spectacle, but the former having bling intellect. He comes to England, writes the narrabut small stages, and small finances, are absolutely obliged tive in 1792, and publishes it with sundry notes and to rely, not a little, upon making their pieces tolerable, by means of tolerable composition. At the Surrey, under its postscripts in 1824. Its literary merit is far from con- enterprizing proprietor, Mr. Williams, (who is equally fatemptible. The style, so far as mere language is con- mous for good coffee-houses, and good theatres) a new mecerned, is nervous, racy, and clear. The sentiments are, lodrama, founded on The Fire Worshippers, of Moore, as our quotations will demonstrate, very anomalous. shew. It was very interesting, and though the story, rather was produced with much gorgeous scenery, and glittering Altogether, it is a book worth the perusal of all who are than the language of the original, was borrowed, yet it excurious in the philosophy of the human mind. We have cited considerable interest. A melancholy accident ocAli Pacha, it no knowledge of the author, but we cannot help gues-curred to one of the dramatis persona. sing it to be the production of a writer who is known to seems, had presented Napoleon with an animal, which by some strange means, found itself upon the Surrey stage. be an original and acute, but very fantastic, metaphy- In consequence of its ignorance of the whereabout," and its uncommon obesity, it tumbled through a trap-door, and perished amidst its own cries, and the sympathies of the audience. A clever, though very wild and fantastic piece, called The Floating Beacon, followed. It is wrought out of a story in "Blackwood's Magazine," and contains a good deal of romantic interest.

sician.

DRAMA.

OUR critical notice for the present week is in no want of materials. The genius of melodrama has waved her wand over the slumbering invention of her worshippers, and quickened into life an infinite spawn of these hybrid creations. For ourselves, we are generally puzzled how to describe these things, but the authors have happily adopted the same or similar subjects, and we can "lump" them altogether. Egypt and Persia are the localities; lost heirs and tyrannous usurpers-infernal deities, and benevolent angels-spirits, soothsayers, priests and soldiers, are the characters; and the rest is made up of indifferent music, and beautiful scenery, full of towers, temples, palaces, theatres, cataracts, and sandy deserts. Covent Garden and Drury Lane have by some singular chance adopted the same theme, and employed pretty nearly the same scenery. Report talks of some bad faith, and clandestine proceedings, in this respect; but as we never meddle with the on dits of green-rooms, and for the most part despise their authors, we shall say nothing about the criminations and recriminations, which have been bandied about from one theatre to the other.

Sadlers' Wells (which is likewise under the management which was bright and burnished enough. of Mr. Williams) came out in a new suit of Easter livery, In Ora; or Generally this actor is our abhorrence, but in depicting the African Slave, Mr. H. Kemble was really impressive. the sufferings of an oppressed African, he is, in this piece, which contains all the usual characters in triplicate. In uncommonly successful. There is a pantomime likewise, describing it we cannot do better than borrow the language of a brother critic.This if it do not make the performance three times more interesting, at least makes the plot three times more unintelligible.”

At the Cobourg Mr. Galt has been laid under contribution. Out of his last novel, the "Spaewife," there has been constructed a novel and affecting story. Mrs. Stanley, in the "weird woman," is very effective. It is a fine piece of acting. The tale is turned to the best purpose, and the drama is very exciting. After all, we have to repeat that the melodramas of the smaller have given us greater pleasure than those of the larger theatres.

GREENWICH FAIR.

"The big round tears That coursed each other down her innocent nose In pitiless chase," converted every dimple into a puddle, and made her a most lugubrious figure: a substantial picture of woe. In riding cattle, the only thing that seemed to be thought requisite, was two pair of legs: there was an endless variety, from the charger to the jack-ass; but why attempt an enumeration, when D'Urfey has done it so much better, with the advantage of poetry to sustain it.

"On long tails, on bob-tails, on trotters, and on pacers, On pads, hawkers, hunters, on higglers, and on racers, You'd have sworn knights and 'squires, prigs, cuckolds, and panders,

Ir requires very little excitement to produce a crowd in a great metropolis; independently of those who are really idle, there are numbers who either require, or believe they are intitled to recreation, and a fair, or a fight, are therefore certain of attracting a full attendance. This is the necessary consequence of the restraints and sacrifices, to which the drudgery of the week has subjected them; and hence a corresponding disposition to recompense themselves with fun and frolic. It is thus we have seen the jaded, overwrought horse, when released from his harness, and turned out into the field, recreating himself with uncouth gambols, and the most extravagant curvettings, as Appear'd all like so many brave Alexanders." if still doubtful of his liberty, or wishing to reimburse himD'URFEY'S Ballads. self as quickly as possible for his late privations. In country villages it is different-there the labour is severe, but There is something very intellectual in lofty regionsdesultory; mere idleness is therefore matter of less posi-witness the congenial influence of garrets on the votaries tive enjoyment; besides, at these places of resort, business is mingled with amusement, and the anxieties of a market-day, are enough to destroy many of the pleasures which would otherwise have followed in the train of a fair. But why do I mention this cherished feast of fools, where the genius of merriment and revels, held his motley court, We passed a sign-board, which received a whole broadand every variety of character had its representative in side, something ungallant truly, considering it was the this congress of booths and boors; it seemed as if the buoy, the land-mark, as it were, which pointed to "The very atmosphere of a fair produced unbounded licence. Blue Style Establishment for the Education of Young LaAlas! the ruthless magistrates have destroyed this fa- dies." "And what the devil kind of place may that be," vourite gratification of the "lean, unwashed artificers;" said a thick, pursy poodle-looking body, whose head and with one "fell swoop," they have banished them from the tongue were occupied all the way with new schemes for metropolis. Bartholomew yet languishes, in sickly exist-loans, docks, and insurances; for lightening, or even darkence; Bow Street and Brook Green, have already sunkening towns; for making roads, or spoiling them, and who under their stern mandate, and even" Greenwich merry-instantly thought of it, as a stock company for instructing making" is but the ghost of what it was.

"I cannot but remember such things were,

of the muse; it is from the same reason no doubt, that the top of a coach is the very Parnassus of wit, enlarging the mind by giving it a wider field to look over. We had all kinds of jokes, if I except good ones, for the quality was at least as various as the subjects.

Misses by lectures, or perhaps machinery. Do ye know," he continued, "if the shares are all made up, and if the thing is like to do? Any chance of a premium on the transwas watching the senator-like look of a monkey sitting on the dickey beside the driver)," it is for the blue-stocking ladies, man."-"Very good, i'faith," answered little dumpling," not a bad plan; worth looking after-a new thought: blue is a fast colour; never had blue stockings in my own family, but will have them if the thing takes. I shall see about it on Change to-morrow;" and while the laugh raged loud and bold around him, he returned into his pocket the huge memorandum book, in which he had entered a notice of what he conceived to be a "literary hosiery work." In one of the few tranquil moments which the bustle of the road allowed us, I enjoyed a very rich treat of Cockneyism. A Cit's box skirted the side of the way, and about a rood of pleasure-ground, which seemed to belong to it, was thickly studded with temples, grottoes, and teahouses: on the top of which sprawled some member of Pagan mythology as its presiding deity. There were trees, or rather shrubs, for the former would occupy too much room; and as many rocks as trees, and a bunch of daisies to every rock, so that there was nothing wanting: grove nods to grove.' But what is a landscape, however perfect, without water? Well, it had that also; there was a pond with delightful sinuosities of outline, embracing in the most cunning way imaginable, two verdant islands, between which a leaden cupid had found room to sit, and spirted water with great assiduity.

That were most precious to me. Did Aldermen look on, || fer, eh?"-" Bah," said his neighbour, (who at the moment And would not take their part?"

There was some competition for places on the top of the coach, when on Tuesday last I set out for Greenwich, determined once more to enjoy its revels, in spite of their shrunken form and diminished attractions. We have a very comfortable feeling when snugly provided with all the appurtenances of travelling: when firmly seated, our cloak adjusted, and some idea formed of the qualities and bienseance of our next neighbour, and at our leisure marking the living stream which passes in all directions, but chiefly guessing at those in the motley crowd, who are bent on the same journey. A traveller is said to bear very striking marks of his purpose in his air and gait: they are obvious even to ordinary observers, but with a stage-coachman they form a science, and are matter of certainty: he picks out the wayfaring man among the throng, as if his ticket blazoned the front of his hat. By Jehu's unwearied importunity, by holding up his paw, and crying, "Greenwich, Sir? going to Greenwich, Ma'am?"—and the unintermitting watchfulness of some fellows, who, like the feelers of insects, preserve a line of communication with more distant objects, and led their prey past the opposition coaches, we were at length well freighted, and set off, the "stones rattling underneath, as if Whitehall were mad." As might be expected, from the heterogeneous mass of vehicles which covered the road-from the collecThere was something quite novel in sousing his little tion of the strong, and the weak-the swift, and the slow, godship into the water-to extend, no doubt, the triumphs there were frequent collisions; and I passed many a city-of his mother, and add a new empire to her former despowire, seated on some fragment of her shipwrecked parcel- tism.cart, like "Niobe, all tears;" but whether her wailing proceeded from grief for her prostrate and half-murdered lord, or the more unintellectual sorrow of a ruffled-elbow, I know not; however the whirling cloud of dust mingling with

"Et tenet in viridi regna palude Venus."

66

It has never been decided whether the noble bridge at Blenheim was built for the sake of the water, or the water introduced for the sake of the bridge; then why expect

stoutly, but to no purpose-he feigned to be sick, and held his head over the side of the car, "suiting the action to the word," and at once his wishes were answered: the swinger deserted his post; the crowd retired to a distance, to await till the storm blew over. I had seen enough of the fair, and soon after left Greenwich. L.

Shakspeare, mutatis mutandis. +City wire, city ladies, so called by Ben Jonson, from the wires used in their dress-caps.

LITERARY NOTICES.

66

that I should explain the use of a bridge, with three gothic arches, over this nice little lake, which no doubt was made to fit the structure that was to bestride it. Beside the bridge was moored a boat, so that there could be no inconvenience-not the slightest, in having the water in the grounds, and then what an addition to the sylvan beauties of the place! The boat was as gay as Cleopatra's galley: its sides were decorated with wreaths of flowers, swans, doves, and cupids, like the borders of the painted ceilings in Hampton Court. The fair has sadly fallen away, and is robbed of all its due proportions by the discouragements Ito these plebeian jollifications, by hoary magistrates, who seem to forget the green days of youth, when they thought KING'S THEATRE.-The admirers of Mozart will be grathem the grandest sights on earth. I was obliged to ask tified to learn that the beautiful opera "Il Don Giovanni" for the fair, as I would for an acquaintance who had changed is announced for Madame Caradori's benefit, on Thursday, his lodging; and when I found it, how changed, how the 6th of May. We heartily wish-nay, we may almost shrunk, and tame-now unlike the joyous vulgarity, the promise the lady a bumper on the occasion. It would affreedom, variety, and fun, which was wont to be the boastford us great pleasure to see a few more of Mozart's compoand attraction of Greenwich merry-making; in short, to sitions introduced during the present season. continue the metaphor with which I set out, my old friend was on his last legs, and but the shadow of what he was, having but little hope of another annual round of his existence. Still there was a tolerable display; a sickly smile of gaiety about the place. I passed through a formidable array of gingerbread soldiers, drawn up in front of a booth, for the protection of the watches, horses, Turkey cocks, old ladies and gridirons, which were ranged behind. The uniform of the military was very imposing: they were attired in a suit of gold leaf; to swallow one of the doughty heroes would have been to realise the fate of Crassus. Next succeeded the legerdemain and rowleypowley gentry; the mermaids and mountebanks, and wonders of every class, from a penny to a sixpence, which shewed that the fair had not altogether declined from its

ancient character.—

"In houses of boards, men walk upon cords,
As easie as squirrels crack filberds,

But the cut purses they do bite and rub away,
But these we suppose to be ill birds.

For a penny you may zee, a fine puppet-play,
And for twopence, a rare piece of art;
And a penny a cann, I dare swear a man
May put zix of them into a quart.

Their zights are so rich, is able to bewitch
The heart of a very fine man a,

Here's patient Grizel here, and fair Rosamond there,
And the history of Susannah."

Old Ballad.

THE splendid gallery and suite of exhibition rooms belonging to the new society of British Artists, in Suffolkstreet, Pall-Mall East, were executed by MR. NASH, from the designs of MR. ELMES.

MARQUESS OF WORCESTER.

THE Marquis had a mind to tell King Charles I. (as handsomely as he could) of some of his (as he thought) faults; and thus contrived his plot. Against the time that his Majesty was wont to give his lordship a visit, as he commonly used to do after dinner, his lordship had the book of John Gower before him on the table. The King casting his eye upon the book, told the Marquis that he had book of books, which if your Majesty had been well versed never seen it before. "Oh!" said the Marquis, "it is the in, it would have made you a king of kings."-"Why so, my Lord?" said the King. "Why," said the Marquis, "here is set down how Aristotle brought up and instructed Alexander the Great in all the rudiments and principles belonging to a prince." And under the persons of Alexander and Aristotle, he read the King such a lesson, that all the standers-bye were amazed at the boldness; and the King, supposing that he had gone further than his text would have given him leave, asked the Marquis if he had his lesson by heart, or whether he spoke out of the book. The Marquis replied, "Sir, if you could read my heart, it may be you may find it there; or, if your Majesty please to get it by heart, I will lend you my book," which The literary part of the amusements were sadly neglect- latter proffer the King accepted of, and did borrow it. ed; in vain did learned dogs boast of their erudition, or "Nay," said the Marquis, "I will lend it to your dandy pigs shuffle the cards and play domino: John Bull Majesty upon these conditions: first, that you read it; sehad not left home to shew off as a Mæcenas to these debu-condly, that you make use of it." But perceiving how that tantes, and all their graces could not win an approving certain passages of the marquis's discourse, he thought a some of the new made lords fretted and bit their thumbs at smile from him. The showman of one of these establishments, sadly mortified, paraded in front of his booth; by little to please his Majesty, though he displeased them the turns he listened to the chattering of his monkey, and the more, who were so much displeased already: protesting grunting of the youthful porker, as if to coax a similar conunto his Majesty, that no one was so much for the absolute descension from the bye-standers; but they could not be power of a King as Aristotle; desiring the book out of the pleased, and as a last resort, he tried to fasten a quarrel on King's hand, he told his Majesty that he could shew him a them, as the only means of dispelling their apathy, and remarkable passage to that purpose, turning to that place offered £20,000 to the person, who would match the awful that has this verse:→ wig he wore, made of glass, whose curls and flowing ringlets threw even the speaker's wig, that chef-d'œuvre of the art of tormenting hair, at hopeless distance. The ups and downs were, on the whole, the most recherche gratification of the day; a great deal was got for the money: both a shake and a fright, and one or other never failed to content the adventurers. In vain did they call when terrified by the violence of the swing: the old rogue who presided over the machine would not listen, because it might bring the amusement into disrepute, or perhaps thought it a good joke which pleased the mobocracy, and might tempt some one to shew off greater hardihood. One fellow bawled

"A king can kill, a king can save,
A king can make a lord a knave;
And of a knave a lord also,

And more than that a king can do."

There were then divers new made lords, who shrunk out of the room, which the King observing, told the Marquis, "My Lord, at this rate you will drive away all my nobility." The Marquis replied, "I protest unto your Majesty I am as new a made Lord as any of them all, but I was never called knave and rogue so much in all my life as I have been since I received this last honour, and why should they not bear their shares ?"

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