a dish of asparagus and boiled chickens on his return, as much or more, he said, than ever he had done at a lord-mayor's feast. In the evening, Lucilla played some hymns on the organ which stood in the dining-room, and the old gentleman, while sipping his tea, thus expressed himself: "I tell you what, my young ladies, if you are not happy here, it is nobody's fault but your own; but you are happy, I see it by your countenances, and I am much inclined to think, that if religion was made as pleasant elsewhere as it is here, there would not be so many infidels as there now are." Mrs. Bloomfield replied, "That she did what she could to make religion pleasant, or rather to let it appear as it really was, any thing but gloomy or morose;" at the same time adding, that the fear of God was not natural to sinful man; and that it was not on sunny days, but under clouds, that the real love of Christ could be brought to proof. "And clouds," she said, "will come, which the tenderest parent cannot prevent; it is in adversity, therefore, and under crosses and disappointments, that we must look for the proofs of real religion in the heart." Our guardian left us the next day, and we parted from him with many tears. After this followed many happy, happy months, in which my sweet Sophia seemed to gather a little strength, and I sometimes indulged a hope of her recovery. During this time we enjoyed a thousand innocent delights, from the contemplation of which my memory looks back with mingled emotions. I had now the happiness to see my beloved sister daily growing in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I shall never forget how pleasingly she spoke of him as the "good Shepherd" who gave his life for the sheep, and who "gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them in his bosom." "Ellen," she would say, "I love you much, but I love my dear Redeemer more; and I am willing, I am longing, to be absent from the body, that I may be present with the Lord. I do feel that we shall be only separated for a few years, and then we shall meet together again no more to part. O, to be with Christ, and to see him as he is! and then, Ellen, for us to bow together before his throne, and to praise him for ever whom we now delight to view by faith, and to address in humble prayer." Christ her Saviour had indeed taken away the sting of death from my beloved sister; but I was weaker in faith, and as I viewed her fading form, and watched her heaving bosom and her increasing debility, I felt it hard to say "Thy will be done;" but now, through grace, I can adopt this petition, and from my heart pray that the will of God may be done on earth, even as it is done in heaven. By long experience I have at last learned, through divine teaching and discipline, to adore my Redeemer most for his most painful dispensations; for I have found, on reviewing my life, that disappointments and afflictions from his hand have been the tokens of his love, chastisements, without which I should have been undone, and incentives to urge my hopes and affections heavenward. At length came spring, the flowers blossomed, and the song of birds was renewed in the woods; but as the year advanced, my sweet Sophia drooped. As her bodily health declined, her faith and hope increased. She spoke of heaven as a beloved child speaks of going home, or as a captive speaks of approaching freedom. She tried to convince me that for her "to depart and be with Christ," was "far better" than a continuance on earth; but the thought of parting with an only, a twin sister, and with such a sister, overpowered these reasonings. She would often gently chide me, and say, "Ellen, your faith is very, very weak; is not heaven better than earth? is it not desirable to be released from all sins? to have every doubt and temptation removed? and for every tear to be wiped away by that hand which was stretched on the cross for me? Nothing evil can exist in the presence of my Redeemer, and every thing desirable is included in being 'for ever with the Lord.' 'Oh, that I had wings like a dove, then would I fly away and be at rest."" The persuasions of my beloved sister at length drew from me the promise that I would endeavour to pray: "Not my will, but thine be done;"-still it cost me many a struggle and many a sigh to utter this petition, and the sight of my drooping sister almost led me to recall the prayer. The progress of the disease now rapidly increased. Every medical assistance was obtained, every consolation was supplied, but the illness had taken too deep a root to be reached by the art of man; and, like my BROKEN HYACINTH, she languished from day to day, and at length her ransomed spirit passed away on the bosom of her beloved Lucilla, without a groan, without a struggle, leaving this reflection for our sole consolation, that she had died in the often expressed assurance of certain happiness through her Redeemer, in whom alone she trusted. She was laid in the dust in the parish churchyard, beside the grave of Mrs. Bloomfield's husband and two infant children; and it was ever afterward a custom, as long as any of our blessed little society remained in that place, to spread fresh flowers on her grave, on the anniversary of the day whereon she had been admitted into glory. Thus died my sweet Sophia, in the fifteenth year of her age, leaving me for a time as one bereaved of all comfort, and the more so, as I never could divest myself of the idea that her death would not have occurred so soon had she never left Mrs. Bloomfield; although it is not for a short-sighted mortal to judge correctly of the Divine dispensations. Here, indeed, was a punishment for petulance which I had not anticipated; but I was humbled under the chastisement, and made to feel my excessive sinfulness, and to seek forgiveness through the atonement of Christ, and the promised comforts of the Holy Spirit. I also received with gratitude the consolations which were offered me, in the friendship and sympathy of Theresa, Lucilla, and Amelia. And now, my gentle readers, as it is not my intention to enter farther into my history, I close my narrative in this place-with this pleasing assurance, that all who once formed the society at Mrs. Bloomfield's became the humble disciples of Jesus Christ, and through faith in him obtained the sweet hope of a blessed reunion in glory. I am now the only survivor of these the lovely companions of my early days, and, through divine grace, I am enabled to rejoice in the hope of an eternal union with my Redeemer; and with him, I trust, I shall find all that I have consigned to his keeping throughout the long course of my life, which has been marked with those many bereavements to which all must be exposed who attain the measure of the life of man. I am now waiting in firm faith and cheerful hope for the period of my own departure hence, and for a happy meeting VOL. IV.-K with my beloved sister and friends at the throne of God and the Lamb, while with Job I am enabled to say→ I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVETH, AND THAT HE SHALL AND THOUGH STAND AT THE LATTER DAY UPON THE EARTH. AFTER MY SKIN WORMS DESTROY THIS BODY, YET IN MY FLESH SHALL I SEE GOD. END OF THE BROKEN HYACINTI. |