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might succeed in “plucking out the heart of | had discovered that some of his young hands his mystery.”
were terribly in want of riding drill, and that The horses were at the door, and Rosa was nobody but Onslow could administer it. mounted, but in place of the corporal there Orelia bestowed on the unbappy Cumberstood a huge bulky dragoon, with high mare a glance so full of scorn, that Rosa exshoulders, a round face, and a wide mouth, pected to see that warrior wither away and sink
stared at her, as he d, with eyes down into his boots. Then, putting out her about as expressive as his boots.
lip, she said, " I shall not ride to-day;" and, “Tindal has sent a note,” said Bagot, " to sweeping round majestically, she reëntered the say he is sorry that Onslow cannot be spared; house; while Rosa, in order that the sergeant's but he thinks Sergeant Cumbermare will be feelings might not be injured, set out upon a found equally serviceable.” In fact, Tindal solitary ride.
From the Courier.
BY A SUFFERER.
He looks for papers, books or bills, that all were
there before, SPRING CLEANING.
And sighs to find them on the desks or in the
drawer no more. And then he grimly thinks of her who set this
fuss afloat, The melancholy days have come, the saddest of the year,
And wishes she were out to sea, in a very leaky
boat; Of cleaning paint and scrubbing floors, and scouring fir and near ;
He meets her at the parlor door, with hair and Heaped in the corners of the room, the ancient cap awry, dirt lay quiet,
With sleeves tucked up, and broom in hand,
defiance in her eye ; Nor rose up at the father's tread, nor at the children's riot ;
He feels quite small, and knows full well there's But now the carpets are all up, and, from the nothing to be said, staircase top,
So holds his tongue, and drinks his tea, and The mistress calls to man and maid to wield the sneaks away to bed. broom and mop.
In a neglected spot in the churchyard of St. Where are those rooms, those quiet rooms, the
Mary Redcliffe, Bristol — a spot known but to house but now presented,
few of the numerous frequenters of the celebrated Wherein we dwelt, nor dreamed of dirt, so cosy adjoining church — rest the mortal remains of and contented ?
the father, mother, sister, and other relations of Alas! they've turned all upside down, that Thomas Chatterton. A gravestone was many
quiet suit of rooms, With slops and suds, and soap and sand, and years ago placed over them, but in the course of
time it had become so dilapidated as to render tubs and pails and brooms. Chairs, tables, stands, are standing round, at which made the substitution of a new stone a
the inscription partially illegible ; a circumstance sixes and at sevens,
thing much wished for by those who were acWhile wife and housemaids iy about, like meteors quainted with the state of the old one. This very in the heavens.
necessary step has been taken in the course of the
last few days ; and a substantial and durable The parlor and the chamber floors were cleaned stone now covers the dust of the family of a week ago,
The marvellous Boy, The carpets shook and windows washed, as all The sleepless soul that perished in his pride. the neighbors know ;
The following is the inscription :But still the sanctum had escaped — the table
In Memory of piled with books,
Thomas Chatterton, Schoolmaster, who died 7th August, Pens, ink and paper, all about, peace in its very
1752, aged 39 years. looks
Also Thomas Newton, Son-in-law of the above, who died
29th September, 1785, aged 40 years. Till fell the woman on them all, as falls the
Also 2 of his Sons and 1 Daughter. plague on men ;
Also Sarah Chatterton, Widow of the above Thomas And they vanished all away, books, paper, ink Chatterton, who died 25th December, 1791,
aged 60 years. Also Mary Newton, Widow of the above Thomas Newton,
who died 23rd February, 1804, aged 53 years. And now when comes the master home, as come Also Mary Ann Newton, Spinster, Daughter of the above he must o'nights,
Thomas and Mary Newton, who died 7th September,
1807, aged 24 years. To find all things are " set to wrongs," that they have “set to rights,"
The old Tombstone having fallen into decay When the sound of driving tacks is heard, though
was thus replaced the house is far from still,
Anno Domini MDCCCLIII.
SUOLTO VERK HARE, And the carpet woman 's on the stairs, that har
WILLIAM HENRY EDWARDS, binger of ill,
From IIousehold Words.
appearing only for å season, like specks upon THE KINGDOM OF RECONCILED IMPOS- the sun or the Roating islands in Winderinere
- visible and to be travelled in from the end SIBILITIES.
of December to the end of the following FebTHERE is a kingdom whose boundaries are ruary, called the Kingdom of Pantomime. within the reach of every man's hand, on This kingdom, which, at other seasons of the whose frontiers no heavier entrance-tribute or year, is as rigorously barred and closed against import duty is exacted save that coin prised in strangers as China or Japan or the Stock the payment of two score inflections of the Exchange, offers many points of resemblance eyelids – or forty winks ; a kingdom into to the Kingdom of Reconciled Impossibilities. which the majority of humanity travel at least There is a voyager therein, one Clown, who once in every twenty-four hours ; though the with Pantaloon, his friend and dupe, and exact time - the precise moment at which scapegoat, dances about the streets, insults that voyage is commenced is, and never has and beats respectable shopkeepers, swindles been, known to any man alive. Whether we and robs ready-furnished lodgings, leers at are transported by some invisible agency virtuous matrons, comunits burglaries and on the wings of spirits or in the arms of genii larcenies in the broad day (or lamp) light,
- whether we go to the kingdom or the king- and perpetrates child-murders by the duzen, dom comes to us, we cannot tell. Why or yet gues“ unwhipp'd of justice ;" nay, he and how or when we came there we know not; his confederate are rewarded, at last, by an yet, almost invariably, when the tribute of the ovation of fireworks and revolving stilrs ; as forty inflections has been duly.paid, we find are also Harlequin, a lewd fellow in a spangled vurselves wandering in the Kingdom of Rec-jerkin and hose, and a dancing girl they call onciled Impossibilities.
Columbine; who together play such fiintasLocomotion in this kingdom is astonishingly tic tricks before the footlights as make the rapid ; we run without moving and fly with- gallery roar — such tricks as would be tolerout wings. Time and space are counted zeros ; ated nowhere but in a Kingdom of Impossicenturies are skipped at a bound ; continents bilities. For, in all other kingdoms, theft of and oceans are traversed without an effort. fish or sausage were it even the smallest We are here, there, and everywhere. Gray- gudgeon or the most infinitesmal saveloy - is headed men, we are little boys at school, three months at least, and rubbery in a dwelbreaking windows and dreading the vindica- ling-house is felony ; and to force a respectatory cane. Married and settled, we are ble white-bearded man with a crutch" stick struggling through the quickset hedges of our and an impediment in his speech to cast infirst love. Crippled, we race and leap; blind, voluntary sommersaults, and to make him sit
Unlearned, we discourse in strange down oftener on a hard surface than he tongues, and decipher the most intricate of wishes, is an assault punishable by fine or hieroglyphics. Unmusical, we play the fiddle imprisonment; and the cutting up, mulilatlike Paganini. We pluck fruit from every ing, smothering, or thrusting in a letter-box branch of the tree of knowledge; the keys of of a baby is murder. erery science hang in a careless bunch at our In all other kingdoms, likewise, as we are girdle ; we are amenable to no laws; money well aware, vice is always vanquished and is of no account; Jack is as good as his virtue rewarded ultimately ; but in the Kingmaster; introductions are not required for dom of Reconciled Impossibilities, as well as entrance into polite society; the most glaring in that of pantomime, nothing of the kind impossibilities are incessantly admitted, taken takes place. In this former one, innocent, for granted and reconciled; whence the name we are frequently condemned to death, or to of this kingdom.
to excruciating tortures. Masters, we are Much more wondrous and full of marvels is slaves; wronged and oppressed, we it than the famed land of Cockaigne, than the always in the wrong and the oppressors. country of Prester John, than the ground of Though in the every-day kingdom we are perTom s'idler (whose occupation is now gone haps wealthy, at least in easy circumstances, in consequence of the discovery of rival we are in the Realms of Impossibility perpetugrounds in California and Australia), than ally in difficulties. Moments of inexpressible Raleigh's Dorado, than the Arcadia of Stre- anguish we puss, from the want of some parphon and Corydon, Celia and Sacharissa ; ticular object or the non-remembrance of some than the fearful country where there are men particular word; though what the object or -whose heads
the word, we never have and never had the Do grow beneath their shoulders ; remotest idea. Spectres of duties omitted, than even the mirabolant land that Jack saw ghosts of offences committed, sit at banquets when he had gotten to the top of the bean- with us; and, under circumstances of the stalk. The only territorial kingdom that I greatest apparent gayety and joviality, we are can compare it to is one --- and even the du- nearly always in sore perturbation of mind. ration of that one is fleeting and evanescent, 'und vexation of spirit.
The kingdom, indeed, is full of tribulations, that have tempted my appetite ; and of the impossible yet poignant. Frequently, when unhandsome manner in which I have been we attempt to sing, our voice dies away in an denied the enjoyment of the first spoonful of inarticulate murmur or a guttural gasp: If soup, and of the rude and cavalier process by we strive to run, our legs fail under us ; if we which I have been summarily transported to a nervo our arm to strike, some malicious power kingdom where I am usually expected to pay paralyzes our muscles, and the gladiators for my dinner - when I think of these things fist fälls as lightly as a feather ; yet, power- I could weep. less as we are, and unable to beat the knave Sometimes, though rarely, the rulers of the who has wronged us, we are ourselves con- Impossible kingdom will permit you to drink tinually getting punched on the head, beaten - provided always that you have tumbled with staves, gashed with swords and knives. (which is exactly your mode of entrance) into Curiously, though much blood flows, and we their domains in a desperately parched and raise hideous lainentations, we do not suffer thirsty condition. Cold water is the general much from these hurts. Frequently we are beverage provided, and you are liberally killed – shot dead - decapitated; yet we allowed to drink without cessation
to empty walk and talk shortly afterwards, as Saint water-jugs, pitchers, decanters, buckets, if Denis is reported to have done. Innumerable. you choose. ` I have known men who have as the sands of the sea are the disappoint- sucked a pump for days, nay, have lapped ments we have to endure in the Kingdom of gigantic quantities of the Falls of Niagara ; Impossibilities. Get up as early as we may, but the Impossible king has mingled one cruel we are sure to miss the first train; the steam- and malicious condition with his largesse. boat always sails without us. If we have a You may drink as much as you like, but you cheque to get cashed, the iron-ribbed shutters must never quench your thirst, and you must of the bank are always up, when our cab always wake tumble out of the kingdom, I drives to the door, and somebody near us mean - more thirsty than you were before. always says, without being asked, “ Stopped Travelling in this strange country is mostly payinent!" All boats, vehicles, beasts of accomplished in the night season "in burden and other animals, behave in a simi- thoughts from the visions of the night, when lar tantalizing and disappointing, manner; deep sleep falleth upon men.” It is when tall horses that we drive or ride, change un- the Kingdom of Life is hushed and quiescent, accountably into little dogs, boats split in the when the streets are silent, and there are none middle, coaches rock up and down like ships. abroad but the watchers and the houseless, We walk for miles without advancing a step ; that the Kingdom of Impossibilities wakes up we write for hours without getting to the end in full noise, and bustle, and activity. Yet of a page ; we are continually beginning and betimes we are favored with a passport for never finishing, trying and never achieving, this kingdom in the broad-day season - - in searching and never finding, knocking and not the fierce summer heat, when we retira to being admitted.
cool rooms, there to pay the tribute of forty The Kingdom of Impossibilities must be the winks to the Monarch of the Impossible"; home of Ixion and the Danaïdes and Sysiphus, when, as we travel, we can half-discern the and peculiarly of Tantalus. The number of green summer leaves waving through our . tubs we are constantly filling, and which are translucent eyelids, can hear the murmuring never full; and the quantity of stones, which, of fountains and the singing of birds in the
as soon as we have rolled them to the top of a kingdom we have come from. Very pleasant shill, roll down again ; are sufficiently astonish- are these day, voyages, especially when we sing; but it is in a tantalizing point of view can drowsily hear the laughter of children that the kingdom is chiefly remarkable. We playing on a lawn outside. are forever bidden to rich banquets — not The Kingdom of Reconciled Impossibilities Barmecide feasts, for the smoking viands and is a land of unfulfilled promises, of broken
generous wines are palpablo to sight and engagements, of trees forever blossoming but touch. Bit no sooner are our legs com- never bearing fruit, of jumbles of commencefortably under the mahogany, than a some- ments with never a termination among thing far more teasing and vexatious than the them, of prefaces without finises, of dramas ebony wand of Sancho's physician, sends the never played out. The unities are not ob. meats away untasted, the wines unquaffed, served in this kingdom. There are a great changes the venue to a kingdom of realities. many prologues, but no epilogues. It is all Dear me! When I think of the innumerable as it should not and cannot be. It snows in gratuitous dinners I have sat down to in the July, and the dog-days are in January. Men Land, of Impossibilities ; of the countless sneeze with their feet and see with their eleemosynary spreads to which, with never a thumbs, like Gargantua. The literature of sous in my pocket, I have been made wel- the country consists of tales told by idiots, - come ; of the real turtle, truffled turkeys, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Strasburgh pies, and odoriferous pineapples, | The houses are all built without foundations ; they are baseless fabrics, which, vanishing, into dry leaves, like the money paid by the leave not a wreck behind. Everything in the magician in the Arabian Nights. kingdom is impossible.
If the kingdom (to expatiate further on its Impossible, yet reconciled. In no other advantageous features) be one of tribulations land, certainly, are we so convinced of the and disappointments, it is also one of great truth of the axiom that, “ whatever is, is and extended privilege. We are privileged to right.” Against our knowledge, feelings, walk about unwashed, unshaven, and unexperience, and convictions, against all evi- dressed, to clap kings upon the back, to salute dence, oral or ocular, against truth, justice, princesses if we list, to ride blood-horses, to reason, or possibility, we smilingly confess dy higher than the skylark, to visit foreign that black is white, that clouds are whales, lands without a foreign-office passport, the that the moon is cheese. We know our reference of a banking firm, or the necessity brother to be our brother, yet without of being personally known to the foreign difficulty or reluctance we admit him to be secretary. "We have the privilege of being a Captain Cook. With a full knowledge that great many people and in a great places at what we are doing can't be, we are pleasantly one and the same time. We have the privconvinced that it can be, and that it is, and is ilege of living our lives over again, or undoing right. So we violate all laws of morality, the wrongs we have done, of reëstablishing decorum, international justice, honesty, and our old companionship with the dead, and courtesy, with a comfortable self-consciousness knowing their worth much better than we did that it is “ all right," and that we are wrong- before we lost them. ing no one. Quakers have been known in the Yes, preeminent and radiant stands one Kingdom of Impossibilities to lie in wait for privilege, to the enjoyment of which every men and murder them ; nay, to have hidden traveller in the land of Reconciled Impossithe bodies afterwards in corn-bins, or chem- bilities is entitled. He is privileged to ists' bottles. Moral men have eloped with behold the Dead Alive. The King of Terballet dancers. Bishops have found them- rors has no power in the domains of the Imselves at the Cider Cellars. Judges of the possible. The dead move and speak and laugh, Ecclesiastical Court have created disturbances as they were wont to speak and move and at the Casino, and have wrenched off knockers laugh, in the old days when they were alive, in company with jorial proctors and fast old and when we loved them. They have been surrogates about town. There was a cathe-dead- of course - we know it and they tell dral verger once, in the Kingdom of Impossi- us so — but they are alive now; and, thanks bilities, who refused a fee : there was an to the irresistible logic of the Impossible Irish member without a grievance; there was Kingdom, we slightly question how." These a chancery suit decided to the satisfaction of visitors have no grim tales to tell, no secrets all parties.
of their prison-house to reveal. Here, joyful Good inen not only become rascals, but and mirthful as ever, are the old familiar rascals turn honest men in this astonishing faces; the life-blood courses warmly through country. Captain Mac Swindle paid me, only the old friendly hands ; Gead babies crow and last night, the five pounds he has owed me battle valorously in nurses' arms ; dead sweet
I saw the unjust steward hearts smile and blush ; dead aunts scold ; render up a faultless account. All is not dead schoolmasters awe; dead boon comvexatious and disappointing in the Impossible panions crack the old jokes, sing the old Kingdom. If it be a kingdom of unfulfilled songs, tell the old stories, till we wake into promises, it is one of accomplished wishes. the Kingdom of the Possible ; and ah, me! Sorely pressed for cash in this sublunar king- the eye turns to a vacant chair, a faded miniadom, no sooner are we in the other than the ture, a lock of soft hair in crumpled tissue exact sum we wished for, chinks in golden paper, a broken toy ; while the mind's vision sovereigns, rustles in crisp notes, mellifluously recurs to a green mound, and a halfeffaced whispers in soft-papered cheques before our stone. eyes, within our gladsome pockets, or our In the regions of the Impossible there is a rejoicing fingers. We shall be able to meet population separate, apart, peculiar ; possible the little bill; streets are no longer stopped nowhere but in a land of impossibilities. up; the tailor shall cringe again ; Caroline Monstrous phantasies in semi-human shape, shall have the velvet mantle trimmed with horrible creations, deformed giants, dwarfs sable. Hurrah! But, alas! the money of with the heads of beasts ; shapeless phantoms, the kingdom that never can be, and yet hideous life such as the Ancient Mariner saw always is and will be, is as treacherous and on the rotting deep: Such things pursue us deceitful as a will-of-the-wisp, or an Eastern through these regions with grinning fangs, mirage ; no sooner do we possess it than we and poisonous breath ; kneel on our chests; have it not. We wake, and the shining sov- wind their sharp talons in our hair ; gnaw at ereigns and the rustling notes have turned our throats with horrid yells. And, apart
for fifteen years.
From Chambers' Journal.
from the every day scenes of every day life | Staffordshire. It there appeared that the brought to the reductio ad absurdum in the firemen, who ought to bave examined the Kingdom of Impossibilities, we tarry betines safety of the workings ere the miners entered, in chambers of horrors, in howling deserts, had, on the morning of the accident, deputed in icy caverns, in lakes of fire, in pits of un- this duty to another person.
The deputy utterable darkness. Miserable men are they went round with a lamp not closed, and who are frequent travellers through these dis- was seen going into the workings closely foltricts of the Impossible Kingdom. They may lowed by some men and boys, each with a say with the guilty Thane
lighted candle in his hand! Again, T. E.
Foster, Esq., an extensive viewer, relates, that Better be with the dead
last Whom we to gain our place have sent to peace, going down, the overlooker told me : We
year he visited a pit in Lancashire. on In restless ecstasy.
work this mine entirely with safety lamps.'
I said : • Very well, Jonathan. I should If you would leave such countries unex- like to see these lamps, that they are all right plored, lead virtuous lives, take abundant before I go in.' The first lamp be pat in exercise, be temperate (in the true sense of my hand was Clanny's, and between the the word ; not choosing in what, but in every- gauze I could put my little finger in. I said: thing), and take no man's wrong to bed with * This will not do ; I will take one of the thee not for one single night.
others.' I examined one, and the gauze was perfect, but very dirty. We proceeded along the railway from the bottom of the shaft.
And in the face of the workings every man COAL-MINE EXPLOSIONS.
had a Davy-lamp; but every man had the Of the many Blue Books that have re- gauze out, and it was a naked light! I said: cently been laid before Parliament, none
• If you are not more particular than this, is more full of matter for grave cogitation you will have a blow-up.' And next week than that now to be referred to on coal- they had it.” So much for mere carelessness ; mine explosions.* This Report, only one of but we shall by and by advance more serious a series, makes known, in a very emphatic charges against the lamp. Meanwhile, as to way, the terrible loss of life in coal-mines; know the disease is half the cure, let us one fact alone being sufficiently appalling
look for a moment at the dread agent of the loss of 900 lives by mine explosions within
destruction. the short space of twenty-one weeks, in the
The reader who takes his idea of a gas
from the ordinary illuminating medium of All reports on this subject of serious con
our streets, will, in studying fire-dump, find cern concur in stating, that for explosions the himself not very far off the mark. Relieved only proper remedy is better ventilation ; from the pressure of the superincumbent stratil, and they all deprecate placing too great reli- light carburetted hydrogen exudes in great ance on the safety-lamp. They affirin, that abundance, often from almost every pore of the while many accidents are traceable solely to coal in our mines; and on examining our gasthe use of this instrument, it is perfectly works, we find ingenious machinery to sepacompatible with science to reduce these mel rate and convey away the tar, ammonia, and ancholy occurrences to a small fraction of the other chemical products of the distillation their present number, and that
, ultimately, of coal from the carburetted hydrogens, the mines may be rendered perfectly safe. Little only useful ingredients for the purposes of goud, however, can be done while operative light and heat. If so, why do we not hear ininers entertain an undue, and what
of catastrophes in our streets and parlors be called a superstitious confidence in their similar to those so much dreaded underDavy-lamp, no matter how much that lamp ground? The reason is simple. Ask any may be out of order. With them, this useful chemist, and he will tell you, that the danger companion is not so much a delicate scientific lies not in any property of the gas or gases instrument, as a thing of talismanic power. themselves, but only when they are combined Danger may be most imminent – the lamp in certain proportions with the oxygen of completely out of trim — but all is right, pro
atmospheric air. Every housewife knows, vided the minor has only a Davy. "Stories, that if our ordinary coal-gas be allowed not most ludicrous but for their associations, are to burn, but to escape into the atmospheric told in abundance respecting this childlike air, an explosion will follow the introduction simplicity. We select two. The first was of a light into the room, rivalling only in brought out in evidence at the investigation degree the dread catastrophes of the mines. of an explosion which happened last year in
'Though, from its small specific gravity,
light carburetted hydrogen easily escapes into * Report on Coal-mines. Ordered by the House the atmosphere, the coal still retains a large of Commons to be printed, 22d June, 1832. portion of it; and this has been amply proved