They say," said Bruce," that good wine needs no bush, but the Bush is terribly in need of good wine. Shall we try a glass together, Mr. Seager?" pulling down his wristbands; "I'm not in his confidence." or "One of yours?" inquired Bagot. "Yes; a captain of ours,' " said Oates. A good fellow, Fane, but infernally superideuced deal of reading and information, and all that sort of thing. I've been told he reads two or three hours a-day. You would n't guess it though, for he's a capital judge of a horse." "He's a great favorite, too, with the Here an odor of various compounded per- women, if he only knew it," remarked Sloperfumes heralded the approach of Sloperton, ton, speaking slowly, and with a graceful who bowed to the strangers as he took a chair. lisp. "I've known some of 'em quite spoonCaptain Sloperton possessed a face and figure ey on him. If he only took the trouble to that no young female of the middle or lower follow up his advantages, and would bestow ranks could look upon without presently lov- a little more pains in dressing himself, I ing him to distraction. The first time the don't know anybody that I should consider a barmaid of the hotel set eyes on him, she put more formidable rival." soy instead of sherry into the soda-water com- Well, sir," said Seager, impatient at the pound she was mixing, and handed it to a captain's conceit, and going on with a story thirsty bagman, who, in consequence of drink- he had begun before his entrance," the night ing it, was very angry at the time, and very before the race, Tommy came to me. • Mis'r sick afterwards. Avenues of ringlets shot out Seager,' says he, 'you and I have done a little of the doors and windows whenever the cap- business together many a time, and I'd as tain passed down the street, so that he might soon do you a friendly turn as any man. almost have fancied himself surrounded by Well, I ought to know something about that the tendrils of a vineyard. From the number 'ere hoss, but I don't say nothing, only of complimentary epistles in verse and prose hedge! Hedge!' says Tommy, holding up he received, one might have supposed that all his forefinger, and giving me a warning look. the valentines written that year in Dodding-⚫ You 're a trump, Tommy,' I said, and hedge ton, after lying in the dead-letter office since I will, for I never knew you wrong yet; and the 14th of February, had now been forwarded hedge I did. Gad, sir, 't was lucky I did so, to him in a body. Some of these he exhibited or I should have been two thousand to the at mess, and thereby excited considerable bad - as it was, I netted a hundred and fifty. envy in the bosom of Cornet Suckling, who The favorite was n't even placed." would have given his ears for a correspond- "Nothing like a friend at court in these ence of the kind one tenth as flattering and cases," said Tindal. voluminous. However, the cornet, thanks to the prestige of his uniform, made more conquests than ever he had done before, and flattered himself he was becoming a Lothario. "Shut the door, waiter," said Wylde Oates, as the captain entered, "or we shall have a rush of love-stricken females after him. How did you give 'em the slip, Sloperton?" "Tis a wonder they did n't run into him," whispered Bruce, "for the scent 's breast-high. What a bore it must be, Sloper, to be so adorable!" Sloperton took quizzing very calmly, setting it down in general to envy. If he had not been so good-looking, it is probable he would have made a much better figure in the world, for he was by no means deficient in intellect. But the admiration so promptly accorded him by that portion of the fair sex who judge chiefly by the eye, had given a confirmed bent to his ideas, and he had sunk irrevocably into a clever trifier. "Is Fane coming to mess?" asked Bruce of Sloperton. "Don't know, really," said Sloperton, "Ah, you 're right, major," said Seager; "and I flatter myself no man has more useful acquaintances of that sort than I have. It's astonishing what an effect a little condescension, and an occasional tip judiciously administered, has among fellows of that sort, when it comes from somebody who knows the tricks of the trade. A greenhorn, now, might give twenty pounds to an understrapper in a stable for a bit of information, and the fellow would pocket it, and put his tongue in his check and laugh at him for a confounded foolwhile a knowing one, by bestowing five, might get a hint worth a thousand." "You've been a good deal on the turf, eh?" said Wylde Oates, who venerated men who had been a good deal on the turf. Seager grinned, and said he should rather think he had. "Do you know Dakins?" asked Oates. Seager said he knew him well. 66 Ah," said Oates, "he's a great friend of mine. Good fellow, Dakins." 66 Splendid fellow," said Cornet Suckling, plunging head over heels into the conversation, and eager to boast his intimacy with the 1 bought him," said Suckling, with illsuppressed exultation. "Deuced fine horse dam by Orville." "Dam by Orville," repeated Mr. Seager. "Ah, indeed; I should n't have thought he was ever worth a dam." Mr. Suckling feebly attempted to join in the laugh that followed Mr. Seager's sally, and, muttering "Fine horse now -greatly improved since he was a colt," retired precipitately from the dialogue. When he reappeared, it was in a desperate attempt to retrieve his position in the eyes of Seager, by calling the unfortunate head-waiter a lubber," as that hapless functionary placed a decanter before him. Then, in a reassured tone, he called out, "Seager, a glass of wine." "Horrid beastliness!" said Suckling, setting down his glass after drinking it, and imagining he was quite safe in abusing the wine, as everybody else had already condemned it. "I'm sorry you don't like it, young gentleman," said Bagot majestically. It has been liked by good judges. Tis some I brought over from the Heronry, Tindal hope you'll excuse the liberty, old fellow; but I knew the kind of article that was to be got here." Snub the second for Mr. Suckling, whose forehead broke out into copious perspiration, while he felt a horrid sensation all over his body, as if his flannel waistcoat and drawers had been suddenly converted into sand-paper. Wylde Oates added to his discomfiture by telling him he did n't believe he knew cider from Johannisberg. 66 Superb sherry," said Sloperton, sipping it; "and rather different from the medicinal compound we've been in the habit of imbibing here. Waiter!" "Sir," said the waiter, darting to the rear of the speaker. "Tell the landlord," said Sloperton, "with my compliments, that his sherry ought to be labelled Cholera, two years in bottle.'" The waiter attempted to smile; but, seeing the perfect gravity of Captain Sloperton's face, he coughed and said, "Very good, sir." He was frequently charged with messages of this description, but was in the habit of suppressing them. "I hope, Tindal," said Bagot, leaning back in his chair in the intervals of dinner, with his hands stuck in the pockets of his somewhat gorgeous waistcoat "I hope that this infusion of young blood which you've brought to Doddington will put a little life in the old town and neighborhood." "'T would n't come before 't was wanted," responded Tindal; “for really, Lee, really, now, 'pon my life, I was prepared for something confoundedly slow, but this is too bad - too bad." And the major frowned and shook his head, as if slowness in a town was a high crime and misdemeanor, and, moreover, a personal injury. "'Twasn't always so," said Bagot. "I remember it a cheerful place enough, twenty or thirty years ago. Many a jolly dinner have I eaten in this very room, at elections or assizes, or when the militia was out. But I don't know how it is, all the people who had any life in 'em seem to have died off or left the place. I hardly ever come down now can't stand it, by Jove!" "How is it," remarked Bruce, “that wherever one goes - at least I find it sothe inhabitants always talk as if life and spirit had passed away from their native places? I could almost fancy a troop of aged ghosts, in pigtails, pantaloons, and hessians, mourning over the decline of any place I happen to be quartered in." 66 Doddington 's not what it was when I was a boy," said Mr. Titcherly, waking up and joining for the first time in the conversation on the introduction of this congenial theme. "And, when I was a boy, old people used to say the same thing; and when those old people were boys, other old people, doubtless, said so too. Perhaps the present generation will tell their grandchildren, forty years hence, that the old town has degenerated sadly since they were young." 66 It almost reconciles me to the shortness of existence," said Sloperton, putting his shoulders into his ears," to know that we probably shan't be here to participate in the regrets of the said grandchildren for the lost excitements of their dissipated ancestors." "Doddington," said Mr. Titcherly, hastily bolting a half-masticated morsel, in his eagerness to enlarge on his favorite theme 66 Doddington was once a place of consequence. It had a cathedral and many churches it had a convent of Gray Friars -it had a priory. It had a charter granted by King John. There are parish registers here extending back to Elizabeth's time. I've read 'em all through many times, and they are worth their weight in gold." What a precious old maggot!" whispered Oates to Bruce. "What decayed nut did you pick him out of?" But Bruce rather enjoyed the old gentleman's reminiscences. The roistering propensities which caused him to fraternize with Oates lay only on the surface of his nature, while far stronger and more characteristic sympathies slumbered, almost unknown to their possessor, underneath. So he encouraged Mr. Titcherly to resume the subject. as 66 66 "I remember the convent I mentioned "To be sure," returned the old gentleman, well," he went on (warming to his work, chuckling and rubbing his hands. They Oates said). "It was in excellent were my contemporaries; I was at school preservation when a parcel of modernizing with 'em all, and now they are all gone – meddlers pulled it down, to make way for a some dead, some living elsewhere. No wonnew assize hall a place, gentlemen, that no der the place seems duller to me. human being, except a lawyer, could take an "I confess, Colonel Lee," said Sloperton, interest in. While they were digging the "I don't so much regret the absence of the foundation, I picked up a jawbone, which, I excellent old persons you mention, as of their believe, undoubtedly belonged to Friar Trever-female descendants. I have n't made acton, who flourished in Doddington about four quaintance with a single young lady above the hundred years ago; for the spot where I found rank of a postmaster's daughter. By the by, it tallies precisely with the place of his may I ask, colonel, who those ladies were burial, mentioned in an old manuscript in my that we saw with you a day or two since?" possession." (Sloperton knew perfectly well, having made. most minute inquiries on the subject from the waiter.) 66 Once started on this subject, it was not easy to stop Mr. Titcherly, and he proceeded to enlarge on the antiquities of Doddington, My niece-in-law, Lady Lee," answered quite unconscious that he and his topics were Bagot, and two friends of hers. Fine alike uninteresting to most of his hearers. The women, sir. She's the widow of my poor very last audience an antiquary should select nephew, Sir Joseph Lee." is one composed of fast men, who have enough to do to look closely into the present, extract- Titcherly; ing therefrom all the amusement and excite- appendix.' ment it will afford them, and mourning over A charming trio, indeed," said the capthat portion of it which they are debarred tain. "Not many of the sort down here, from enjoying, without troubling themselves I'm afraid." "Baronetcy of 1600," murmured Mr. one of James' creation - see 66 about the past. Fast men, too, are extending "Well, there's one comfort in a quarter their ranks -the term must be widened, so of this sort," observed Seager to Sloperton, as to include all the most successful and noto-who sat next him rious characters of our time. We have fast speculators, fast statesmen, fast clergymen, who have left the slow Church of England far behind even history is written now-a-days by fast historians, only to show us how incomparably superior the fast present time is to the past, and their works are lauded by fast readers and fast reviewers accordingly. And he who does venture to look back with regret or respect is an obstructive, a dreamer, a fit object for scorn to point its slow and moving finger at. How, then, could humble Mr. Titcherly, who could find interest even in the mortal remains of a long defunct Friar Treverton, hope for attention? The truth is, I'm afraid, that the fast men of the time don't take much interest in anything whether it is that the objects which engross them are not such as to call for much enthusiasm, whether they think the expression of it vulgar, or whether they have n't got any to express, I leave to the observant reader to determine. "you can wear out all your old clothes, and so get a pull upon your tailor. "Twould be throwing pearls before swine to bring the new cuts down here." Yes, that's one advantage, answered the captain; "and another is, the chance of picking up some country beauty with a lot of money-something unsophisticated, you know, for one gets sick of your knowing women; one sees so plainly what they're at, you know that is, any one who understands them. A sharp woman, with her clever designs upon one's heart, always reminds me of the what-d' ye-call-em bird - the flamingo, I think- that puts its head in the sand, and thinks the hunters can't see him. Now, one would like to have an affair with something simple and innocent, if it were only for a change; and if there was money enough with it, why, one might be induced to -a-asacrifice one's-self on the altar of Hymen.' "What an infernal puppy!" thought Mr. Seager. Lucky fellow that gets Lee's niece," said he aside to the captain. "Lots of money, lots of beauty, and lots of goodbreeding- no mistake about that. Lee knows what she 's worth, and looks precious sharp after her, I can tell you.' "More fool he, I should think," said Sloperton. "What business has he to look after her?" Seager winked and gave him a poke with his elbow. "I'll tell you all about it by and by," he said; "wait till we get an opportunity." This did not offer itself till after they had left the table. But first a variety of topics were discussed, of the same nature as those decided in the answers to correspondents of sporting newspapers. Then there were some arguments conducted after the true mess fashion that is to say, remarkable rather for confident assertion, tenacity of opinion, and bold denial, than for learning, logic, or deliberation; and in the course of which it was definitively settled by the majority, that the Prussians got deuced well thrashed at the battle of Blenheim; that Sheridan was saved from going to prison by selling his poem of the Rambler to his landlady for fifty pounds; that Sitwell of the Rifles won the Grand Military in an orange cap, and not in a white one; and that brandy-and-water, as hot as you could drink it, was a capital thing for gout in your stomach. This last curious medical fact was decided in the bar, where they stopt for a few moments on their way to the lodgings of Mr. Wylde Oates (Mr. Titcherly having taken his leave), to exchange a few compliments with the young lady who presided there, and to charge the waiter to follow them forthwith with a supply of wine, brandy, soda-water, and cigars. The sitting-room the youths occupied had a snug, respectable air about it, rather at variance with the character and pursuits of the occupants. The chairs and sofas were of a hardness and neatness rather calculated to mortify the flesh than to invite repose. A print of the Rev. John Styles over the mantelpiece, with no shirt-collar, a guileless face, and a collarless coat, appeared somewhat out of place between two favorite works of art belonging to Mr. Oates "The Pet of the Ballet," and "Taking a Rasper;" and it really seemed marvellous how the reverend gentleman could preserve such a bland saintliness of aspect, with an opera-dancer of meretricious appearance, pointing her toe indelicately at him on one side, and a reprobate in a red coat riding furiously towards him on the other. Immediately on the arrival of the waiter with a supply of liquor and a punch-bowl, Mr. Oates proceeded to compound scientifically that seductive liquor called claret-cup, after a valuable and unique receipt bequeathed to him by his departed father; while Bruce, stripping the covers from half-a-dozen packs of cards, arranged a table for whist. "What's this?" inquired Sloperton, taking up a pamphlet in a brown paper wrapper from a table, between his finger and thumb. smells confoundedly of bacon." 66 "It "That's a tract," said Mr. Oates, with intense disgust, left here by our precious prig of a landlord." in reading The Vicar of Wakefield, which book I mentioned on account of its decorous title not being likely to shock his prejudices; but he turned up his eye, and told me he feared that vicars were little better than whited sepulchres.' Wylde Oates and Bruce jointly occupied apartments in the house of a dissenting grocer, somewhat disposed to asceticism in his religious views, and who was sorely troubled how to reconcile the harboring of these reprobates beneath his roof, with his allegiance to the tabernacle he frequented, "He leaves 'em regularly twico a-week," and of which he was an important pillar. He said Bruce," and they certainly do smell of partially satisfied his conscience for his toler- the shop in a double sense. The last one was ation of them, by assuring his wife in private called A Finger-Post to Heaven, and this is that the young men were workers of iniquity, The Saintly Stoker. I did n't wish to be rude and, to his certain knowledge, would eventu- to him, as he probably means it for civility; ally be broken to pieces like a potter's vessel; so I told him I was afraid I must defer the while the wife, who, from a natural softness perusal of them for the present, being engaged of disposition, did not take the same religious pleasure in contemplating the perdition of her fellow-creatures, attempted to excuse them by saying they were "great sperits." On the first day of their taking possession, the good woman had greatly diverted the youngsters by coming up, about three o'clock in the after- "Infernal canting humbug !" said Bagot. noon, and asking them at what hour they" He took £20 for his vote last election, to my would like their tea. "Gad, Bruce," said knowledge. Where do you hang out, Captain Mr. Oates, fancy us fellows drinking tea, Sloperton?" like a couple of old washerwomen good Why," answered Sloperton, I've had idea, is n't it?" On the present occasion the grocer had caused his wife to sit up for their lodgers, and she, opening the door at their knock, was horrified at seeing the two "great sperits" attended by seven other sperits, evidently not come there for the purpose of sleeping, and making such a noise in their passage up-stairs that they woke the grocer, who, before he went to sleep again, consoled himself hy a pious vision, wherein he saw the whole party undergoing the fate of Dives. 66 considerable bother about my lodgings. I was obliged to leave a house on the second day, after paying a week in advance, because the family were addicted to onions; and I was expelled from a second lodging, otherwise comfortable enough, by a crying baby. I give you my word, sir, 't was a perfect cherub, and continually did cry. Imagine my feelings, on getting settled a little in a third place, at detecting the servant-maid a maid whose face and hands actually shone with grease, and who, in fact, had a person altogether perfectly glutinous fancy my feelings at detecting her in the very act of using my hairbrush. She did, by Jove, sir!" being older stagers, and knowing that present nocturnal pleasure would be purchased at an exorbitant amount of morning headache in imbibing that bewitching liquor, stuck to Here Sloperton took Seager aside, under their brandy-and-water. It was when the pretence of getting advice about some turf whist came to a conclusion, and the effects of butiness, but in reality to renew the subject the exhilarating bowl became evident in inof Bagot's connection with Lady Lee; and creased rashness in betting, desire for chickenSeager managed so well for Bagot's interest, hazard on the part of Oates, coupled with imthat he left Sloperton impressed with a due patience at the non-appearance of supper, that sense of the importance of the colonel's coun- Mr. Seager took occasion to enlarge on the tenance and friendship, to any one who should merits of a little English mare he had lately entertain matrimonial designs upon her lady-purchased · a perfect marvel of a trotting ship, as an indispensable preliminary to suc "Oh, demmit!" quoth the captain, "don't put it in that way. But really, colonel, I should take it as a great favor if you would authorize me to call." mare, considering, as he said, that she was "Take care, my boy!" said Bagot. 66 Well, it's my opinion she can," said Seager, " and I don't mind backing my opinion." "To be sure!" cried the colonel; "come "I would n't bet about time," said Sloperover to lunch on Wednesday- come all of ton, who was somewhat flustered from drinkyou and I'll get up an expedition into the ing; "but I've a horse that I rather fancy country somewhere. Nothing like a riding-can gallop a bit, and I don't mind making a party for making people acquainted with each match with you." other." Tindal was delighted with the prospect of the visit, and took Bagot aside. "That Miss Payne, now, that I saw with you, Lee," said he -"do you know much about her family and prospects, and so forth?" Nothing at all," said Bagot; "but I can easily find out, if 't would oblige you." 66 66 Oh, don't trouble yourself!" returned the major, affecting indifference; "I merely asked from curiosity. Splendid woman!" he went on; "I don't know when I've been so struck with the appearance and manner of any one." "No," said Seager," she can't gallop, she's a trotting mare. But I'll back her to trot half-a-mile while your horse gallops three quarters, if you 'll give me fifty yards. This proposition was discussed in a variety of forms and modifications. Seager was secure of his mare's powers; and Sloperton, besides being somewhat excited by his share of the claret-cup, was anxious to produce a favorable impression on Bagot, by making what he fancied a judicious sporting bet. Next to his reputation as a man of fashion, Sloperton piqued himself on his judgment in betting, "Take care!" said Bagot. "I alway ob- and luckily he was rich enough to indulge serve 't is a serious thing when a man past this propensity without so much imprudence his verdant days takes a fancy to a girl. He as sporting men occasionally exhibit. So always thinks himself so infernally knowing, Wylde Oates, having risked his fifty against that he won't take advice, whereas a young Seager's, and the latter being drawn, with what one sometimes will. You should have seen looked like rashness (though that was the last her take her first lesson in riding yesterday, infirmity which Seager could ever be accused Tindal. Gad, sir, you'd have been enchanted!" of), to offer to back his mare, for a thousand, "Yes!" said Tindal, eagerly "Yes! to do one mile more-i. e., eighteen in the How did she get on?" hour-Sloperton took him up; and after some discussion the wager stood in a double form, as entered in Mr. Oates' betting-book, thus: — "Never saw such pluck in my life -ne-ver saw any girl so thoroughly game. By Jove, Tindal, I'm half in love with her myself!"' And Bagot related with great zest, and much to the admiration of the interested major, the events which attended the commencement of Orelia's first lesson. The claret-cup, pleasant and insidious as that of Circe, was partaken of with much devotion by all, except Bagot and Tindal, who, "Slop. bets Seag. 5001. the horse Bouquet gallops three quarters of a mile before the mare Goshawk trots half-a-mile, less twentyfive yards to come off within two months." "Ditto bets ditto, said mare, Goshawk, does not trot eighteen miles within the hour - also within two months." |