is by keeping the excellent pattern of his sister's virtues before his eyes, that Mr Joseph Andrews was chiefly enabled to preserve his purity in the midst of such great temptations. I shall only add, that this character of male-chastity, though doubtless as desirable and becoming in one part of the human species as in the other, is almost the only virtue which the great apologist hath not given himself, for the sake of giving the example to his readers. CHAP. II. Of Mr Joseph Andrews, his birth, parentage, education, and great endowments; with a word or two concerning his ancestors. MR Joseph Andrews, the hero of our ensuing history, was esteemed to be the only son of Gaffer and Gammer Andrews, and brother to the illustrious Pamela, whose virtue is at present so famous. As to his ancestors, we have searched with great diligence, but little success; being unable to trace them farther than his greatgrand-father, who, as an elderly person in the parish remembers to have heard his father say, was an excellent cudgel-player. Whether he had any ancestors before this, we must leave to the opinion of our curious readers, finding nothing of sufficient certainty to rely on. However, we cannot omit inserting an epitaph which an ingenious friend of ours hath communicated: Stay, traveller, for underneath this pew Then he shall from his tomb get up and rise. The words are almost out of the stone with antiquity. But it is needless to observe that Andrew here is writ without an s, and is besides a Christian name. My friend moreover conjectures this to have been the founder of that sect of laughing philosophers, since called merry Andrews. To waive, therefore, a circumstance, which, though mentioned in conformity to the exact rules of biography, is not greatly material, I proceed to things of more consequence. Indeed it is sufficiently certain that he had as many ancestors as the best man living; and perhaps, if we look five or six hundred years backwards, might be related to some persons of very great figure at present, whose ancestors, within half the last century, are buried in as great obscurity. But suppose, for argument's sake, we should admit that he had no ancestors at all, but had sprung up, according to the modern phrase, out of a dunghill, as the Athenians pretended they themselves did from the earth, would not this Autokopros have been justly entitled to all the praise arising from his own virtues? would it not be hard, that a man, who hath no ancestors, should therefore be rendered incapable of acquiring honour, when we see so many who have no virtues, enjoying the honour of their forefathers? At ten years old (by which time his education was advanced to writing and reading) he was bound an apprentice, according to the sta tute, to Sir Thomas Booby, an uncle of Mr Booby's by the father's side. Sir Thomas having then an estate in his own hands, the young Andrews was at first employed in what in the country they call keeping birds. His office was to perform the part the ancients assigned to the god Priapus, which deity the moderns call by the name of Jack-o'Lent; but his voice being so extremely musical, that it rather allured the birds than terrified them, he was soon transplanted from the fields into the dog-kennel, where he was placed under the hunstman, and made what sportsmen term whipper-in. For this place likewise the sweetness of his voice disqualified him; the dogs preferring the melody of his chiding to all the alluring notes of the huntsman, who soon became so incensed at it, that he desired Sir Thomas to provide other wise for him; and constantly laid every fault the dogs were at to the account of the poor boy, who was now transplanted to the stable. Here he soon gave proofs of his strength and agility beyond his years, and constantly rode the most spirited and vicious horses to water, with an intrepidity which surprised every one. While he was in this station, he rode several races for Sir Thomas, and this with such expertness and success, that the neighbouring gentlemen frequently solicited the knight to permit little Joey (for so he was called) to ride their matches. The best gamesters, before they laid their money, always inquired which horse little Joey was to ride; and the bets were rather proportioned by the rider than by the horse himself; especially after he had scornfully refused a considerable bribe to play booty on such an occasion. This extremely raised his character, and so pleased the Lady Booby, that she desired to have him (being now seventeen years of age) for her own foot-boy. Joey was now preferred from the stable to attend on his lady, to go on her errands, stand behind her chair, wait at her tea-table, and carry her prayer-book to church; at which place his voice gave him an opportunity of distinguishe *In English, sprung from a dunghill. ing himself by singing psalms; he behaved like wise in every other respect so well at divine service, that it recommended him to the notice of Mr Abraham Adams the curate, who took an opportunity one day, as he was drinking a cup of ale in Sir Thomas's kitchen, to ask the young man several questions concerning religion, with his answers to which he was wonderfully plea sed. CHAP. III. at what time and by what opportunity' the youth became acquainted with these matters. Joey told him that he had very early learnt to read and write by the goodness of his father, who, though he had not interest enough to get him into a charity-school, because a cousin of his father's landlord did not vote on the right side for a church-warden in a borough-town, yet had been himself at the expence of sixpence a-week for his learning. He told him likewise, that ever since he was in Sir Thomas's family, he had employed all his hours of leisure in reading good books; that he had read the Bible, the Whole Of Mr Abraham Adams the curate, Mrs Slipslop Duty of Man, and Thomas a Kempis; and that the chambermaid, and others. MR Abraham Adams was an excellent scholar. He was a perfect master of the Greek and Latin languages; to which he added a great share of knowledge in the oriental tongues, and could read and translate French, Italian, and Spanish. He had applied many years to the most severe study, and had treasured up a fund of learning, rarely to be met with in a university. He was, besides, a man of good sense, good parts, and good nature; but was at the same time as entire ly ignorant of the ways of this world as an infant just entered into it could possibly be. As he had never any intention to deceive, so he never suspected such a design in others. He was generous, friendly, and brave to an excess; but simplicity was his characteristic: he did, no more than Mr Colley Cibber, apprehend any such passions as malice and envy to exist in mankind; which was indeed less remarkable in a country parson than in a gentleman who hath past his life behind the scenes, a place which hath been seldom thought the school of inno cence, and where a very little observation would have convinced the great apologist, that those passions have a real existence in the human mind. His virtue, and his other qualifications, as they rendered him equal to his office, so they made him an agreeable and valuable companion, and had so much endeared and well recommended him to a bishop, that, at the age of fifty, he was provided with a handsome income of twentythree pounds a year; which, however, he could not make any great figure with, because he lived in a dear country, and was a little incumbered with a wife and six children. It was this gentleman who having, as I have said, observed the singular devotion of young Andrews, had found means to question him con cerning several particulars; as, how many books there were in the New Testament? which were they? how many chapters they contained? and such like; to all which Mr Adams privately said, he answered much better than Sir Thomas, or two other neighbouring justices of the peace could probably have done. Mr Adams was wonderfully solicitous to know as often as he could, without being perceived, he had studied a great good book which lay open in the hall-window, where he had read, "as how the devil had carried away half a church in sermon-time, without hurting one of the congres gation; and as how a field of corn ran away down a hill with all the trees upon it, and covered another man's meadow." This sufficiently assured Mr Adams the good book meant could be no other than Baker's Chronicle. The curate, surprised to find such instances of industry and application in a young man who had never met with the least encouragement, asked him, if he did not extremely regret the want of a liberal education, and not having been born of parents who might have indulged his talent and desire of knowledge? To which he answered, "He hoped he had profited somewhat better from the books he had read than to lament his condition in this world. That, for his part, he was perfectly content with the state to which he was called; that he should endeayour to improve his talent, which was all required of him, but not to repine at his own lot, por envy those of his betters." "Well said, my lad," replied the curate, " and I wish some who have read many more good books, nay, and some who have written good books themselves, had profited so much by them." Adams had no nearer access to Sir Thomas or my lady than through the waiting gentlewoman : for Sir Thomas was too apt to estimate men merely by their dress or fortune, and my lady was a woman of gaiety, who had been blessed with a town education, and never spoke of any of her country neighbours by any other appella tion than that of the brutes. They both regard ed the curate as a kind of domestic only, belonging to the parson of the parish, who was at this time at variance with the knight: for the parson had for many years lived in a constant state of civil war, or, which is perhaps as bad, of civil law, with Sir Thomas himself and the tenants of his manor. The foundation of this quarrel was a modus, by setting which aside, an advantage of several shillings per annum would have accrued to the rector: but he had not yet been able to accomplish his purpose, and had reaped hitherto nothing better from the suits than the pleasure (which he used indeed frequently to say was no small one) of reflecting that he had utterly undone many of the poor tenants, though he had at the same time greatly impoverished himself. Mrs Slipslop the waiting gentlewoman, being herself the daughter of a curate, preserved some respect for Adams; she professed great regard for his learning, and would frequently dispute with him on points of theology; but always insisted on a deference to be paid to her understanding, as she had been frequently at London, and knew more of the world than a country parson could pretend to. She had in these disputes a particular advantage over Adams: for she was a mighty affecter of hard words, which she used in such a mariner, that the parson, who durst not offend her by calling her words in question, was frequently at some loss to guess her meaning, and would have been much less puzzled by an Arabian manuscript. Adams therefore took an opportunity one day, after a pretty long discourse with her on the essence, (or, as she pleased to term it, the incense) of matter, to mention the case of young Andrews, desiring her to recommend him to her lady as a youth very susceptible of learning, and one whose instruction in Latin he would himself undertake; by which means he might be qualified for a higher station than that of a footman; and added, he knew it was in his master's power easily to provide for him in a better manner. He therefore desired, that the boy might be left behind under his care. CHAP. IV. What happened after their journey to London. No sooner was young Andrews arrived at London, than he began to scrape an acquaintance with his party-coloured brethren, who endeavoured to make him despise his former course of life. His hair was cut after the newest fashion, and became his chief care: he went abroad with it all the morning in papers, and dressed it out in the afternoon. They could not, however, teach him to game, swear, drink, nor any other genteel vice the town abounded with. He applied most of his leisure hours to music, in which he greatly improved himself; and became so perfect a connoisseur in that art that he led the opinion of all the other footmen at an opera, and they never condemned or applauded a single song contrary to his approbation, or dislike. He was a little too forward in riots at the play-houses and assemblies; and when he attended his lady at church (which was but seldom) he behaved with less seeming devotion than formerly: however, if he was outwardly a pretty fellow, his morals remained entirely uncorrupted, though he was at the same time smarter and genteeler than any of the beaus in town, either in or out of livery. His lady, who had often said of him that Joey was the handsomest and genteelest footman in the kingdom, but that it was a pity he wanted spirit, began now to find that fault no longer; on the contrary, she was frequently heard to cry out, Ay, there is some life in this fellow. She plainly saw the effects which the town air hath on the soberest constitutions. She would now walk out with him into Hyde-park in a morning, and when tired, which happened almost every minute, would lean on his arm, and converse with him in great familiarity. Whenever she stept out of her coach, she would take him by the hand, and sometimes, for fear of stumbling, press it very hard; she admitted him to deliver messages at her bedside in a morning, leered at him at table, and indulged him in all those innocent freedoms which women of figure may permit without the least sully of their virtue. "La, Mr Adams," said Mrs Slipslop, "do you think my lady will suffer any preambles about any such matter? She is going to London very concisely, and I am confidous would not leave Joey behind her on any account; for he is one of the genteelest young fellows you may see in a summer's day, and I am confidous she would as soon think of parting with a pair of her grey mares; for she values herself as much on the one as the other." Adams would have interrupted, but she proceeded: " And why is Latin more necessitous for a footman than a gentleman? It is very proper that you clergymen must learn it, because you can't preach without it; but I have heard gentlemen say in London, that it is fit for But though their virtue remains unsullied, nobody else. I am confidous my lady would be yet now and then some small arrows will glance angry with me for mentioning it; and I shall on the shadow of it, their reputation; and so it draw myself into no such dilemy." At which fell out to Lady Booby, who happened to be words her lady's bell rung, and Mr Adams was walking arm-in-arm with Joey one morning in forced to retire; nor could he gain a second op- Hyde-Park, when Lady Tittle and Lady Tattle portunity with her before their London journey, came accidentally by in their coach. "Bless which happened a few days afterwards. How me," says Lady Tittle, "can I believe my eyes? ever, Andrews behaved very thankfully and is that Lady Booby?" "Surely," says Tattle; gratefully to him for his intended kindness," but what makes you surprised?" "Why, is which he told him he never would forget, and at the same time received from the good man many admonitions concerning the regulation of his future conduct, and his perseverance in innocence and industry. not that her footman?" replied Tittle. At which Tattle laughed, and cried, " An old business, I assure you; is it possible you should not have heard it? the whole town hath known it this half year." The consequence of this interview was a whisper through a hundred visits, which were separately performed by the two ladies the same afternoon; and might have had a mischievous effec had it not been stopt by two fresh reputations which were published the day afterwards, and engrossed the whole talk of the town. But whatever opinion or suspicion the scandalous inclination of defamers might entertain of Lady Booby's innocent freedoms, it is certain they made no impression on young Andrews, who never offered to encroach beyond the liberties which his lady allowed him. A behaviour which she imputed to the violent respect he preserved for her, and which served only to heighten a something she began to conceive, and which the next chapter will open a little farther. CHAP. V. The death of Sir Thomas Booby, with the affectionate and mournful behaviour of his widow, and the great purity of Joseph Andrews. At this time an accident happened which put a stop to those agreeable walks which probably would have puffed up the cheeks of Fame, and caused her to blow her brazen trumpet through the town; and this was no other than the death of Sir Thomas Booby, who, departing this life, left his disconsolate lady confined to her house as closely as if she herself had been attacked by some violent disease. During the first six days the poor lady admitted none but Mrs Slipslop and three female friends, who made a party at cards; but on the seventh she ordered Joey, whom, for a good reason, we shall hereafter call Joseph, to bring up her tea-kettle. The lady being in bed, called Joseph to her, bade him sit down, and having accidentally laid her hand on his, she asked him if he had ever been in love? Joseph answered, with some confusion, it was time enough for one so young as himself to think on such things. "As young as you are,' replied the lady, "I am convinced you are no stranger to that passion: Come, Joey," says she, "tell me truly who is the happy girl whose eyes have made a conquest of you?" Joseph returned, that all the women he had ever seen were equally indifferent to him. "O then," said the lady, you are a general lover. Indeed, you handsome fellows, like handsome women, are very long and difficult in fixing; but yet you shall never persuade me that your heart is so insusceptible of affection; I rather impute what you say to your secrecy, a very commendable quality, and what I am far from being angry with you for. Nothing can be more unworthy " in a young man than to betray any intimacies with the ladies." "Ladies, madam !" said Joseph, "I am sure I never had the impudence to think of any that deserve that name." "Don't pretend to too much modesty," said she, "for that sometimes may be impertinent: but pray, answer me this question. Suppose a lady should happen to like you; suppose she should prefer you to all your sex, and admit you to the same familiarities as you might have hoped for if you had been born her equal, are you certain that no vanity could tempt you to discover her? answer me honestly, Joseph; have you so much more sense, and so much more virtue, than you handsome young fellows generally have, who make no scruple of sacrificing our dear reputation to your pride, without considering the great obligation we lay on you by our condescension and confidence? Can you keep a secret, my Joey?" "Madam," said he, "I hope your ladyship can't tax me with ever betraying the secrets of the family; and I hope, if you was to turn me away, I might have that character of you." “I don't intend to turn you away, Joey," said she, and sighed, "I am afraid it is not in my power." She then raised herself a little in her bed, and discovered one of the whitest necks that ever was seen; at which Joseph blushed. "La!" said she, in an affected surprise," what am I doing? I have trusted myself with a man alone, naked in bed; suppose you should have any wicked intentions upon my honour, how should I defend myself?" Joseph protested that he never had the least evil design against her. "No," says she, "perhaps you may not call your designs wicked; and perhaps they are not so." He swore they were not. "You misunderstand me," says she; "I mean, if they were against my honour, they may not be wicked; but the world calls them so. But then, say you, the world will never know any thing of the matter; yet would not that be trusting to your secrecy must not my reputation be then in your power? would you not then be my master?" Joseph begged her ladyship to be comforted; for that he would never imagine the least wicked thing against her, and that he had rather die a thou sand deaths than give her any reason to suspect him. "Yes," said she, "I must have reason to suspect you. Are you not a man? and without vanity I may pretend to some charms. But perhaps you may fear I should prosecute you; indeed I hope you do; and yet Heaven knows I should never have the confidence to appear before a court of justice; and you know, Joey, I am of a forgiving temper. Tell me, Joey, don't you think I should forgive you?" "Indeed, madam," says Joseph, "I will never do any thing to disoblige your ladyship." "How," says she, ? It may seem an absurdity that Tattle should visit, as she actually did, to spread a known scandal: but the reader may reconcile this, by supposing with me, that, notwithstanding what she says, this was her firs: acquaintance with it. "do you think it would not disoblige me then? do you think I would willingly suffer you?" "I don't understand you, madam," says Joseph. "Don't you?" said she," then you either are a fool, or pretend to be so; I find I was mistaken in you: so get you down stairs, and never let me see your face again: your pretended innocence cannot impose on me." "Madam," said Joseph," I would not have your ladyship think any evil of me. I have always endeavoured to be a dutiful servant both to you and my master." "O thou villain!" answered my lady, "why didst thou mention the name of that dear man, unless to torment me, to bring his precious memory to my mind," (and then she burst into a fit of tears.) "Get thee from my sight, I shall never endure thee more." At which words she turned away from him; and Joseph retreated from the room in a most disconsolate condition, and writ that letter which the reader will find in the next chapter. Williams, as folks talk, and then I should be very willing to be his clerk: for which you know I am qualified, being able to read, and to set a psalm. "I fancy I shall be discharged very soon; and the moment I am, unless I hear from you, I shall return to my old master's country-seat, if it be only to see Parson Adams, who is the best man in the world. London is a bad place, and there is so little good fellowship, that the nextdoor neighbours don't know one another. Pray give my service to all friends that inquire for me; so I rest Your loving brother, JOSEPH ANDREWS." As soon as Joseph had sealed and directed this letter, he walked down stairs, where he met Mrs Slipslop, with whom we shall take this opportunity to bring the reader a little better acquainted. She was a maiden gentlewoman of about forty-five years of age, who, having made a small slip in her youth, had continued a good maid ever since. She was not at this time remarkably handsome: being very short, and raHow Joseph Andrews writ a letter to his sister ther too corpulent in body, and somewhat red, CHAP. VI. Pamela. with the addition of pimples in the face. Her nose was likewise rather too large, and her eyes TO MIS PAMELA ANDREWS, living with Squire too little; nor did she resemble a cow so much BOOBY. "DEAR SISTER, "SINCE I received your letter of your good lady's death, we have had a misfortune of the same kind in our family. My worthy master Sir Thomas died about four days ago; and, what is worse, my poor lady is certainly gone distracted. None of the servants expected her to take it so to heart, because they quarrelled almost every day of their lives; but no more of that, because you know, Pamela, I never loved to tell the secrets of my master's family; but to be sure you must have known they never loved one another; and I have heard her ladyship wish his honour dead above a thousand times but no body knows what it is to lose a friend, till they have lost him. "Don't tell any body what I write, because I should not care to have folks say I discover what passes in our family: but if it had not been so great a lady, I should have thought she had had a mind to me. Dear Pamela, don't tell any body but she ordered me to sit down by her bed-side, when she was in naked bed; and she held my hand, and talked exactly as a lady does to her sweet-heart in a stage play, which I have seen in Covent-Garden, while she wanted him to be no better than he should be. "If madam be mad, I shall not care for staying long in the family: so I heartily wish you could get mea place either at the squire's, or some other neighbouring gentleman's; unless it be true that you are going to be married to Parson in her breath, as in two brown globes which she carried before her; one of her legs was also a little shorter than the other, which occasioned her to limp as she walked. This fair creature had long cast the eyes of affection on Joseph, in which she had not met with quite so good success as she probably wished, though, besides the allurements of her native charms, she had given him tea, sweetmeats, wine, and many other delicacies, of which, by keeping the keys, she had the absolute command. Joseph, howeyer, had not returned the least gratitude to all these favours, not even so much as a kiss; though I would not insinuate she was so easily to be satisfied: for surely then he would have been highly blameable. The truth is, she was arrived at an age when she thought she might indulge herself in any liberties with a man, without the danger of bringing a third person into the world to betray them. She imagined, that, by so long a self-denial, she had not only made amends for the small slip of her youth above hinted at, but had likewise laid up a quantity of merit to excuse any future failings. In a word, she resolved to give a loose to her amorous inclinations, and to pay off the debt of pleasure she found she owed herself, as fast as possible. With these charms of person, and in this disposition of mind, she encountered poor Joseph at the bottom of the stairs, and asked him if he would drink a glass of something good this morning. Joseph, whose spirits were not a little cast down, very readily and thankfully accepted the offer; and together they went into a |