ed at the unreasonableness of my husband. He is indeed, in other respects, a good sort of man; but so positive, that no woman but one of my complying temper could possibly live with him. Why, last night, now, was ever any creature so unreasonable?-I am certain you must condemn him.-Pray, answer me, was he not in the wrong?'-Paul, after a short silence, spoke as follows: I am sorry, madam, that as good manners oblige me to answer against my will, so an adherence to truth forces me to declare myself of a different opinion. To be plain and honest, you was entirely in the wrong; the cause I own not worth disputing, but the bird was undoubtedly a partridge.'-' O sir,' replied the lady, I cannot possibly help your taste.''Madam,' returned Paul, that is very little material; for had it been otherwise, a husband might have expected submission.'-' Indeed! sir,' says she; I assure you'Yes, madam,' cried he, he might from a person of your excellent understanding; and, pardon me for saying, such a condescension would have shewn a superiority of sense even to your husband himself. But, dear sir,' said she, why should I submit when I am in the right ? For that very reason,' answered he; it would be the greatest instance of affection imaginable: for can any thing be a greater object of our compassion, than a person we love in the wrong? Ay, but I should endeavour,' said she, to set him right.'-' Pardon me, madam,' answered Paul, 'I will apply to your own experience, if you ever found your arguments had that effect. The more our judgment errs, the less we are willing to own it: for my own part, I have always observed the persons who maintain the worst side in any contest, are the warmest.'-' Why,' says she, 'I must confess there is truth in what you say, and I will endeavour to practise it.'-The husband then coming in, Paul departed. And Lennard approaching his wife with an air of good humour, told her he was sorry for their foolish dispute the last night: but he was now convinced of his error. She answered smiling, she believed she owed his condescension to his complaisance; that she was ashamed to think a word had passed on so silly an occasion, especially as she was satisfied she had been mistaken. A little contention followed, but with the utmost good-will to each other, and was concluded by her asserting, that Paul had thoroughly convinced her she had been in the wrong. Upon which they both united in the praises of their common friend.

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"Paul now passed his time with great satisfaction; these disputes being much less frequent, as well as shorter than usual: but the devil, or some unlucky accident, in which perhaps the devil had no hand, shortly put an end to his happiness. He was now eternally the private referee of every difference; in which, after having per

fectly, as he thought, established the doctrine of submission, he never scrupled to assure both privately, that they were in the right in every argument, as before he had followed the contrary method. One day a violent litigation happened in his absence, and both parties agreed to refer it to his decision. The husband professing himself sure the decision would be in his favour; the wife answered, he might be mistaken; for she believed his friend was convinced how seldom she was to blame-and that if he knew all—The husband replied,— My dear, I have no desire of any retrospect; but I believe, if you knew all too, you would not imagine my friend so entirely on your side.'-' Nay,' says she, 'since you provoke me, I will mention one instance. You may remember our dispute about sending Jacky to school in cold weather, which point I gave up to you from mere compassion, knowing myself to be in the right; and Paul himself told me afterwards, he thought me so.'

My dear,' replied the husband, I will not scruple your veracity; but I assure you solemnly, on my applying to him, he gave it absolutely on my side, and said he would have acted in the same manner.'-They then proceeded to produce numberless other instances, in all which Paul had, on vows of secrecy, given his opinion on both sides. In the conclusion, both believing each other, they fell severely on the treachery of Paul, and agreed that he had been the occasion of almost every dispute which had fallen out between them. They then became extremely loving, and so full of condescension on both sides, that they vied with each other in censuring their own conduct, and jointly vented their indignation on Paul, whom the wife, fearing a bloody consequence, earnestly entreated her husband to suffer quietly to depart the next day, which was the time fixed for his return to quarters, and then drop his acquaintance.

"However ungenerous this behaviour in Lennard may be esteemed, his wife obtained a promise from him (though with difficulty) to follow her advice; but they both expressed such unusual coldness that day to Paul, that he, who was quick of apprehension, taking Lennard aside, pressed him so home, that he at last discovered the secret. Paul acknowledged the truth, but told him the design with which he had done it. -To which the other answered, he would have acted more friendly to have let him into the whole design; for that he might have assured himself of his secrecy. Paul replied, with some indignation, he had given him a sufficient proof how capable he was of concealing a secret from his wife. Lennard returned with some warmth, he had more reason to upbraid him, for that he had caused most of the quarrels between them, by his strange conduct, and might (if they had not discovered the affair to each other) have been the occasion of their separation. Paul then

said"-But something now happened, which put a stop to Dick's reading, and of which we shall treat in the next chapter.

CHAP. XI.

In which the history is continued.

JOSEPH ANDREWS had borne with great uneasiness the impertinence of Beau Didapper to Fanny, who had been talking pretty freely to her, and offering her settlements; but the respect to the company had restrained him from interfering, whilst the beau confined himself to the use of his tongue only: but the said beau, watching an opportunity whilst the ladies' eyes were disposed another way, offered a rudeness to her with his hands; which Joseph no sooner perceived, than he presented him with so sound a box on the ear, that it conveyed him several paces from where he stood. The ladies immediately screamed out, rose from their chairs, and the beau, as soon as he recovered himself, drew his hanger, which Adams observing, snatched up the lid of a pot in his left hand, and, covering himself with it as with a shield, without any weapon of offence in his other hand, stept in before Joseph, and exposed himself to the enraged beau, who threatened such perdition and destruction, that it frighted the women, who were all got in a huddle together, out of their wits, even to hear his denunciations of vengeance. Joseph was of a different complexion, and begged Adams to let his rival come on, for he had a good cudgel in his hand, and did not fear him. Fanny now fainted into Mrs Adams's arms, and the whole room was in confusion, when Mr Booby, passing by Adams, who lay snug under the potlid, came up to Didapper, and insisted on his sheathing the hanger, promising he should have satisfaction; which Joseph declared he would give him, and fight him at any weapon whatever. The beau now sheathed his hanger, and, taking out a pocket-glass, and vowing vengeance all the time, re-adjusted his hair; the parson deposited his shield, and Joseph, running to Fanny, soon brought her back to life. Lady Booby chid Joseph for his insult on Didapper; but he answered, he would have attacked an army in the same cause. "What cause?" said the lady." Madam," answered Joseph, "he was rude to that young woman."-" What!" says the lady, "I suppose he would have kissed the wench; and is a gentleman to be struck for such an offer? I must tell you, Joseph, these airs do not become you."-" Madam," said Mr Booby, "I saw the whole affair, and I do not commend my brother; for I cannot perceive why he should take upon him to be this girl's champion."-"I can commend him," says Adams; "he is a brave lad; and it becomes any man to be the champion of the innocent; and he must be the basest coward

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who would not vindicate a woman, with whom he is on the brink of marriage."-" Sir," said Mr Booby," my brother is not a proper match for such a young woman as this."-"No," says Lady Booby; nor do you, Mr Adams, act in your proper character by encouraging any such doings; and I am very much surprised you should concern yourself in it. I think your wife and family your properer care."-" Indeed, madam, your ladyship says very true," answered Mrs Adams; "he talks a pack of nonsense, that the whole parish are his children. I am sure I don't understand what he means by it; it would make some women suspect he had gone astray: but I acquit him of that. I can read Scripture as well as he, and I never found that the parson was obliged to provide for other folks' children; and besides, he is but a poor curate, and hath little enough, as your ladyship knows, for me and mine." -“You say very well, Mrs Adams," quoth the Lady Booby, who had not spoke a word to her before; you seem to be a very sensible woman; and, I assure you, your husband is acting a very foolish part, and opposing his own interest, seeing my nephew is violently set against this match: and indeed I can't blame him; it is by no means one suitable to our family."-In this manner the lady proceeded with Mrs Adams, whilst the beau hopped about the room, shaking his head, partly from pain, and partly from anger; and Pamela was chiding Fanny for her assurance, in aiming at such a match as her brother.-Poor Fanny answered only with her tears, which had long since begun to wet her handkerchief, which Joseph perceiving, took her by the arm, and wrapping it in his, carried her off, swearing he would own no relation to any one who was an enemy to her he loved more than all the world. He went out with Fanny under his left arm, brandishing a cudgel in his right, and neither Mr Booby nor the beau thought proper to oppose him. Lady Booby and her company made a very short stay behind him; for the lady's bell now summoned them to dress, for which they had just time before dinner.

Adams seemed now very much dejected, which his wife perceiving, began to apply some matrimonial balsam. She told him he had reason to be concerned; for that he had probably ruined his family with his tricks almost: but perhaps he was grieved for the loss of his two children, Joseph and Fanny. His eldest daughter went on :-"Indeed, father, it is very hard to bring strangers here to eat your children's bread out of their mouths.-You have kept them ever since they came home; and, for anything I see to the contrary, may keep them a month longer. Are you obliged to give her meat tho'f she was never so handsome? But I don't see she is so much handsomer than other people. If people were to be kept for their beauty, she would scarce fare better than her neighbours, I believe.-As

for Mr Joseph, I have nothing to say, he is a young man of honest principles, and will pay sometime or other for what he hath; but for the girl,-Why doth she not return to her place she ran away from? I would not give such a vagabond slut a half-penny, though I had a million of money, no, though she was starving.""Indeed but I would," cries little Dick; "and, father, rather than poor Fanny shall be starved, I will give her all this bread and cheese,"-(of fering what he held in his hand.) Adams smiled on the boy, and told him, he rejoiced to see he was a Christian, and that if he had a halfpenny in his pocket, he would have given it him, telling him, it was his duty to look upon all his neighbours as his brothers and sisters, and love them accordingly.-" Yes, papa," says he, "I love her better than my sisters; for she is handsomer than any of them."-" Is she so, saucebox?" says the sister, giving him a box on the ear, which the father would probably have resented, had not Joseph, Fanny, and the pedlar, at that instant returned together.-Adams bid his wife prepare some food for their dinner; she said, truly she could not, she had something else to do. Adams rebuked her for disputing his commands, and quoted many texts of Scripture to prove, "That the husband is the head of the wife, and she is to submit and obey.”The wife answered, it was blasphemy to talk Scripture out of church; that such things were very proper to be said in the pulpit, but that it was profane to talk them in common discourse. Joseph told Mr Adams, he was not come with any design to give him or Mrs Adams any trouble, but to desire the favour of all their company to the George, (an alehouse in the parish,) where he had bespoke a piece of bacon and greens for their dinner. Mrs Adams, who was a very good sort of woman, only rather too strict in economics, readily accepted this invitation, as did the parson himself by her example; and away they all walked together, not omitting little Dick, to whom Joseph gave a shilling, when he heard of his intended liberality to Fanny.

CHAP. XII.

Where the good-natured reader will see something which will give him no great pleasure.

THE pedlar had been very inquisitive from the time he had first heard that the great house in this parish belonged to Lady Booby, and had learned that she was the widow of Sir Thomas, and that Sir Thomas had bought Fanny, at about the age of three or four years, of a travelling woman and now their homely but hearty meal was ended, he told Fanny, he believed he could acquaint her with her parents. The whole company, especially she herself, started at this offer of the pedlar's. He then proceeded thus, while

they all lent their strictest attention: "Though I am now contented with this humble way of getting my livelihood, I was formerly a gentleman; for so all those of my profession are called. In a word, I was a drummer in an Irish regiment of foot. Whilst I was in this honourable station, I attended an officer of our regiment into England a-recruiting. In our march from Bristol to Froome, (for since the decay of the woollen trade, the clothing towns have furnished the army with a great number of recruits,) we overtook on the road a woman, who seemed to be about thirty years old, or thereabouts, not very handsome, but well enough for a soldier. As we came up to her, she mended her pace, and falling into discourse with our ladies, (for every man of the party, namely, a serjeant, two private men, and a drum, were provided with their women, except myself,) she continued to travel on with us. I, perceiving she must fall to my lot, advanced presently to her, made love to her in our military way, and quickly succeeded to my wishes. We struck a bargain within a mile, and lived together as man and wife to her dying day."-" I suppose," says Adams, interrupting him, " you were married with a licence; for I don't see how you could contrive to have the banns published while you were marching from place to place."-" No, sir," said the pedlar,

ex

we took a licence to go to bed together without any banns."- -"Ay,ay," said the parson, necessitate, a licence may be allowable enough; but surely, surely, the other is the more regular and eligible way."-The pedlar proceeded thus: "She returned with me to our regiment, and removed with us from quarters to quarters, till at last, while we lay at Galway, she fell ill of a fever, and died. When she was on her deathbed, she called me to her, and, crying bitterly, declared, she could not depart this world without discovering a secret to me, which she said was the only sin which sat heavy on her heart. She said, she had formerly travelled in a company of gypsies, who had made a practice of stealing away children; that for her own part she had been only once guilty of the crime, which, she said, she lamented more than all the rest of her sins, since probably it might have occasioned the death of the parents: for,' added she, it is almost impossible to describe the beauty of the young creature, which was about a year and a half old when I kidnapped it. We kept her (for she was a girl) above two years in our company, when I sold her myself for three guineas to Sir Thomas Booby in Somersetshire.' Now, you know whether there are any more of that name in this county."-"Yes," says Adams, "there are several Boobies who are squires, but I believe no baronet now alive; besides, it answers so exactly in every point, there is no room for doubt; but you have forgot to tell us the parents from whom the child was stolen."— "Their name," answered the pedlar, "" was An

drews. They lived about thirty miles from the squire; and she told me, that I might be sure to find them out by one circumstance; for that they had a daughter of a very strange name, Paměla, or Pamela; some pronounced it one way, and some the other."-Fanny, who had changed colour at the first mention of the name, now fainted away, Joseph turned pale, and poor Dicky began to roar; the parson fell on his knees, and ejaculated many thanksgivings, that this discovery had been made before the dreadful sin of incest was committed, and the pedlar was struck with amazement, not being able to account for all this confusion, the cause of which was presently opened by the parson's daughter, who was the only unconcerned person; (for the mother was chafing Fanny's temples, and taking the utmost care of her ;) and indeed Fanny was the only creature whom the daughter would not have pitied in her situation; wherein, though we compassionate her ourselves, we shall leave her for a little while, and pay a short visit to Lady Booby.

CHAP. XIII.

The history returning to the Lady Booby, gives some account of the terrible conflict in her breast between love and pride, with what happened on the present discovery.

THE lady sat down with her company to dinner, but ate nothing. As soon as the cloth was removed, she whispered Pamela that she was taken a little ill, and desired her to entertain her husband and Beau Didapper. She then went up into her chamber, sent for Slipslop, threw herself on the bed, in the agonies of love, rage, and despair; nor could she conceal these boiling passions longer, without bursting. Slipslop now approached her bed, and asked how her ladyship did? but instead of revealing her disorder, as she intended, she entered into a long encomium on the beauty and virtues of Joseph Andrews; ending at last with expressing her concern, that so much tenderness should be thrown away on so despicable an object as Fanny. Slipslop well knowing how to humour her mistress's frenzy, proceeded to repeat, with exaggeration, if possible, all her mistress had said, and concluded with a wish that Joseph had been a gentleman, and that she could see her lady in the arms of such a husband. The lady then started from the bed, and taking a turn or two cross the room, cried out with a deep sigh, "Sure he would make any woman happy." "Your ladyship," says she, "would be the happiest woman in the world with him. A fig for custom and nonsense. What vails what people say? Shall I be afraid of eating sweetmeats, because people may say I have a sweet tooth? If I had a mind to marry a man, all the world should not hinder

me. Your ladyship hath no parents to tutelar your infections; besides, he is of your ladyship's family now, and as good a gentleman as any in the country, and why should not a woman follow her mind as well as a man? Why should not your ladyship marry the brother, as well as your nephew the sister? I am sure, if it was a fragrant crime, I would not persuade your ladyship to it."-" But, dear Slipslop," answered the lady, "if I could prevail on myself to commit such a weakness, there is that cursed Fanny in the way, whom the ideot,-Oh how I hate and despise him!"-"She! a little ugly minx," cries Slipslop, "leave her to me. I suppose your ladyship hath heard of Joseph's fitting with one of Mr Didapper's servants about her and his master hath ordered them to carry her away by force this evening. I'll take care they shall not want assistance. I was talking with this gentleman, who was below, just when your ladyship sent for me."-" Go back," says the Lady Booby, "this instant; for I expect Mr Didapper will soon be going. Do all you can; for I am resolved this wench shall not be in our family. I will endeavour to return to the company; but let me know as soon as she is carried off."-Slipslop went away; and her mistress began to arraign her own conduct in the following

manner :

;

"What am I doing? How do I suffer this passion to creep imperceptibly upon me! How many days are past since I could have submitted to ask myself the question ?-Marry a footman! distraction! Can I afterwards bear the eyes of my acquaintance? But I can retire from them; retire with one in whom I propose more happiness than the world without him can give me! Retire-to feed continually on beauties, which my inflamed imagination sickens with eagerly gazing on; to satisfy every appetite, every desire, with their utmost wish.-Ha! and do I doat thus on a footman! I despise, I detest my passion. Yet why? Is he not generous, gentle, kind?-Kind to whom? to the meanest wretch, a creature below my consideration. Doth he not?-Yes, he doth prefer her: curse his beauties, and the little low heart that possesses them; which can basely descend to this despicable wench, and be ungratefully deaf to all the honours I do him.-And can I then love this monster? No, I will tear his image from my bosom, tread on him, spurn him. I will have those pitiful charms, which now I despise, mangled in my sight; for I will not suffer the little jade I hate to riot in the beauties I contemn. No, though I despise him myself, though I would spurn him from my feet, was he to languish at them, no other should taste the happiness I scorn. Why do I say happiness? To me it would be misery.-To sacrifice my reputation, my character, my rank in life, to the indulgence of a mean and a vile appetite-How I detest the thought! How much more exquisite is the pleasure re

sulting from the reflection of virtue and prudence, than the faint relish of what flows from vice and folly! Whither did I suffer this improper, this mad passion to hurry me, only by neglecting to summon the aid of reason to my assistance? Reason, which hath now set before me my desires in their proper colours, and immediately helped me to expel them. Yes, I thank Heaven and my pride, I have now perfectly conquered this unworthy passion; and if there was no obstacle in its way, my pride would disdain any pleasures which could be the consequence of so base, so mean, so vulgar"Slipslop returned at this instant in a violent hurry, and with the utmost eagerness cried out, O madam, I have strange news. Tom the footman is just come from the George, where, it seems, Joseph and the rest of them are a jinketting; and he says there is a strange man who hath discovered, that Joseph and Fanny are brother and sister."-" How, Slipslop!" cries the lady, in a surprise." I had not time, madam," cries Slipslop," to enquire about particles, but Tom says it is most certainly true."

This unexpected account entirely obliterated all those admirable reflections which the supreme power of reason had so wisely made just before. În short, when despair, which had more share in producing the resolutions of hatred we have seen taken, began to retreat, the lady hesitated a moment, and then forgetting all the purport of her soliloquy, dismissed her woman again, with orders to bid Tom attend her in the parlour, whither she now hastened to acquaint Pamela with the news. Pamela said, she could not believe it; for she had never heard that her mother had lost any child, or that she had ever had any more than Joseph and herself. The lady flew into a violent rage with her, and talked of upstarts, and disowning relations, who had so lately been on a level with her. Pamela made no answer; but her husband, taking up her cause, severely reprimanded his aunt for her behaviour to his wife; he told her, if it had been earlier in the evening, she should not have staid a moment longer in her house; that he was convinced, if this young woman could be proved her sister, she would readily embrace her as such, and he himself would do the same: he then desired the fellow might be sent for, and the young woman with him; which Lady Booby immediately ordered, and thinking proper to make some apology to Pamela for what she had said, it was readily accepted, and all things re

conciled.

The pedlar now attended, as did Fanny and Joseph, who would not quit her; the parson likewise was induced, not only by curiosity, of which he had no small portion, but his duty, as he apprehended it, to follow them; for he continued all the way to exhort them, who were now

breaking their hearts, to offer up thanksgivings, and be joyful for so miraculous an escape.

When they arrived at Booby-hall, they were presently called into the parlour, when the pedlar repeated the same story he had told before, and insisted on the truth of every circumstance; so that all who heard him were extremely well satisfied of the truth, except Pamela, who imagined, as she had never heard either of her parents mention such an accident, that it must be certainly false; and except the Lady Booby, who suspected the falsehood of the story from her ardent desire that it should be true; and Joseph, who feared its truth, from his earnest wishes that it might prove false.

Mr Booby now desired them all to suspend their curiosity, and absolute belief or disbelief, till the next morning, when he expected old Mr Andrews and his wife to fetch himself and Pamela home in his coach, and then they might be certain of certainly knowing the truth or falsehood of this relation; in which, he said, as there were many strong circumstances to induce their credit, so he could not perceive any interest the pedlar could have in inventing it, or in endeavouring to impose such a falsehood on them.

The Lady Booby, who was very little used to such company, entertained them all, viz. her nephew, his wife, her brother and sister, the beau and the parson, with great good-humour at her own table. As to the pedlar, she ordered him to be made as welcome as possible by her servants. All the company in the parlour, except the disappointed lovers, who sat sullen and silent, were full of mirth; for Mr Booby had prevailed on Joseph to ask Mr Didapper's pardon, with which he was perfectly satisfied. Many jokes passed between the beau and the parson, chiefly on each other's dress; these affording much diversion to the company. Pamela chid her brother Joseph for the concern which he expressed at discovering a new sister. She said, if he loved Fanny as he ought, with a pure affection, he had no reason to lament being related to her. Upon which Adams began to discourse on Platonic love, whence he made a quick transition to the joys in the next world, and concluded with strongly asserting, that there was no such thing as pleasure in this. At which Pamela and her husband smiled on one another.

This happy pair proposing to retire, (for no other person gave the least symptom of desiring rest,) they all repaired to several beds provided for them in the same house; nor was Adams himself suffered to go home, it being a stormy night. Fanny indeed often begged she might go home with the parson: but her stay was so strongly insisted on, that she at last, by Joseph's advice, consented.