" I them, I am willing to surcease."-" I tell you a reason," says she;" he is a vagabond, and he shall not settle here, and bring a nest of beggars into the parish; it will make us but little amends that they will be beauties.”—“Madam,” answered Adams, "with the utmost submission to your ladyship, I have been informed by lawyer Scout, that any person who serves a year, gains a settlement in the parish where he serves."-" Lawyer Scout," replied the lady, "is an impudent coxcomb; I will have no lawyer Scout interfere with me. I repeat to you again, I will have no more incumbrances brought on us: so I desire you will proceed no farther."-" Madam," returned Adams, would obey your ladyship in every thing that is lawful; but surely, the parties being poor is no reason against their marrying. God forbid there should be any such law. The poor have little share enough of this world already; it would be barbarous indeed to deny them the common privileges and innocent enjoyments which Nature indulges to the animal creation." " Since you understand yourself no better," cries the lady," nor the respect due from such as you, to a woman of my distinction, than to affront my ears by such loose discourse, I shall mention but one short word; it is my orders to you, that you publish these banns no more; and if you dare, I will recommend it to your master, the Doctor, to discard you from his service: I will, sir, notwithstanding your poor family; and then you and the greatest beauty in the parish may go and beg together."—" Madam," answered Adams, "I know not what your ladyship means by the terms master and service. I am in the service of a Master who will never discard me for doing my duty and if the Doctor, (for, indeed, I have never been able to pay for a licence,) thinks proper to turn me from my cure, God will provide me, I hope, another at least, my family, as well as myself, have hands; and he will prosper, I doubt not, our endeavours to get our bread honestly with them. Whilst my conscience is pure, I shall never fear what man can do unto me."-" I condemn my humility," said the lady," for demeaning myself to converse with you so long. I shall take other measures; for I see you are a confederate with them. But the sooner you leave me the better; and I shall give orders that my doors may no longer be open to you. I will suffer no parsons who run about the country with beauties, to be entertained here.""Madam," said Adams, "I shall enter into no persons doors against their will; but I am assured, when you have enquired farther into this matter, you will applaud, not blame my proceeding; and so I humbly take my leave :" which he did with many bows, or at least many attempts at a bow. quainted,) that you will ungratefully shew any respect to a fellow who hath been turned out of it for his misdeeds. Nor doth it, I can tell you, sir, become a man of your character, to run about the country with an idle fellow and wench. Indeed, as for the girl, I know no harm of her; Slipslop tells me she was former ly bred up in my house, and behaved as she ought, till she hankered after this fellow, and he spoiled her. Nay, she may still, perhaps, do very well, if he will let her alone. You are therefore doing a monstrous thing, in endeavouring to procure a match between these two people, which will be to the ruin of them both." "Madam," says Adams, "if your ladyship will but hear me speak, I protest I never heard any harm of Mr Joseph Andrews; if I had, I should have corrected him for it; for I never have, nor will encourage the faults of those under my cure. As for the young woman, I as sure your ladyship, I have as good an opinion of her as your ladyship yourself, or any other can have. She is the sweetest tempered, honestest, worthiest young creature; indeed, as to her beauty, I do not commend her on that account, though all men allow she is the handsomest woman, gentle or simple, that ever appeared in the parish."-" You are very impertinent," says she, "to talk such fulsome stuff to me. It is mighty becoming, truly, in a clergyman, to trouble himself about handsome women, and you are a delicate judge of beauty, no doubt! A man who hath lived all his life in such a parish as this, is a rare judge of beauty. Ridiculous! Beauty indeed!-A country wench a beauty!—I shall be sick whenever I hear beauty mentioned again. And so this wench is to stock the parish with beauties, I hope.But, sir, our poor is numerous enough already; I will have no more vagabonds settled here.""Madam," says Adams, " your ladyship is offended with me, I protest, without any reason. This couple were desirous to consummate long ago, and I dissuaded them from it; nay, I may venture to say, I believe, I was the sole cause of their delaying it."-" Well," says she, "and you did very wisely and honestly too, notwithstanding she is the greatest beauty in the parish." And now, madam," continued he, "I only perform my office to Mr Joseph.""Pray, don't mister such fellows to me," cries the lady." He," said the parson, "with the consent of Fanny, before my face, put in the banns."-"Yes," answered the lady, "I suppose the slut is forward enough; Slipslop tells me how her head runs upon fellows; that is one of her beauties, I suppose. But if they have put in the banns, I desire you will publish them no more without my orders."-"Madam," cries Adams, "if any one puts in sufficient caution, and assigns a proper reason against CHAP. III. What passed between the Lady and Lawyer Scout. In the afternoon the lady sent for Mr Scout, whom she attacked most violently for intermeddling with her servants: which he denied, and, indeed, with truth; for he had only asserted accidentally, and perhaps rightly, that a year's service gained a settlement; and so far he owned he might have formerly informed the parson, and believed it was law. "I am resolved," said the lady, "to have no discarded servants of mine settled here; and so, if this be your law, I shall send to another lawyer."Scout said, if she sent to a hundred lawyers, not one or all of them could alter the law. The utmost that was in the power of a lawyer, was to prevent the law's taking effect; and that he himself could do for her ladyship as well as any other: "And I believe," says he, "madam, your ladyship, not being conversant in these matters, hath mistaken a difference: for I asserted only, that a man who served a year was settled. Now, there is a material difference between being settled in law, and settled in fact; and as I affirmed generally he was settled, and law is preferable to fact, my settlement must be understood in law, and not in fact. And suppose, madam, we admit he was settled in law, what use will they make of it? How doth that relate to fact? He is not settled in fact; and if he be not settled in fact, he is not an inhabitant; and if he is not an inhabitant, he is not of this parish; and then undoubtedly he ought not to be published here: for Mr Adams hath told me your ladyship's pleasure, and the reason, which is a very good one, to prevent burdening us with the poor: we have too many already; and I think we ought to have an act to hang or transport half of them. If we can prove in evidence, that he is not settled in fact, it is another matter. What I said to Mr Adams, was on a supposition that he was settled in fact; and indeed, if that was the case, I should doubt""Don't tell me your facts and your ifs," said the lady, "I don't understand your gibberish: you take too much upon you, and are very impertinent in pretending to direct in this parish; and you shall be taught better, I assure you, you shall. But as to the wench, I am resolved she shall not settle here; I will not suffer such beauties as these to produce children for us to keep."-" Beauties indeed! Your ladyship is pleased to be merry," answered Scout." Mr Adams described her so to me," said the lady. "Pray what sort of dowdy is it, Mr Scout ?""The ugliest creature almost. I ever beheld, a poor dirty drab, your ladyship never saw such a wretch."" Well, but, dear Mr Scout, let her be what she will, these ugly women will bring children, you know; so that we must prevent the marriage."-"True, madam," replied Scout, "for the subsequent marriage co-operating with the law, will carry law into fact. When a man is married, he is settled in fact; and then he is not removeable. I will see Mr Adams, and I make no doubt of prevailing with him. His only objection is, doubtless, that he shall lose his fee; but that being once made easy, as it shall be, I am confident no farther objection will remain. No, no, it is impossible: but your ladyship can't discommend his unwillingness to depart from his fee. Every man ought to have a proper value for his fee. As to the matter in question, if your ladyship please to employ me in it, I will venture to promise you success. The laws of this land are not so vulgar, as to permit a mean fellow to contend with one of your ladyship's fortune. We have one sure card, which is, to carry him before Justice Frolic, who, upon hearing your ladyship's name, will commit him without any farther questions. As for the dirty slut, we shall have nothing to do with her; for if we get rid of the fellow, the ugly jade will"- "Take what measures you please, good Mr Scout," answered the lady, "but I wish you could rid the parish of both; for Slipslop tells me such stories of this wench, that I abhor the thoughts of her; and though you say she is such an ugly slut, yet you know, dear Mr Scout, these forward creatures who run after men, will always find some as forward as themselves: so that, to prevent the increase of beggars, we must get rid of her."-" Your ladyship is very much in the right," answered Scout," but I am afraid the law is a little deficient in giving us any such power of prevention; however the justice will stretch it as far as he is able, to oblige your ladyship. To say truth, it is a great blessing to the country that he is in the commission; for he hath taken several poor off our hands that the law would never lay hold on. I know some justices who make as much of committing a man to Bridewell, as his lordship at 'size would of hanging him; but it would do a man good to see his worship, our justice, commit a fellow to Bridewell; he takes so much pleasure in it: and when once we ha' um there, we seldom hear any more o' um. He's either starved or ate up by vermin in a month's time."-Here the arrival of a visitor put an end to the conversation; and Mr Scout having undertaken the cause, and promised success, departed. This Scout was one of those fellows who, without any knowledge of the law, or being bred to it, take upon them, in defiance of an act of Parliament, to act as lawyers in the country, and are called so. They are the pests of socicty, and a scandal to a profession to which indeed they do not belong, and which owes to such kind of rascallions the ill-will which weak persons bear towards it. With this fellow, to whom a little before she would not have condescended to have spoken, did a certain passion for Joseph, and the jealousy and disdain of poor innocent Fanny, betray the Lady Booby into a familiar discourse, in which she inadvertently confirmed many hints, with which Slipslop, whose gallant he was, had pre-acquainted him; and whence he had taken an opportunity to assert those severe falsehoods of little Fanny, which possibly the reader might not have been well able to account for, if we had not thought proper to give him this information. CHAP. IV. A short chapter, but very full of matter; particularly the arrival of Mr Booby and his lady. ALL that night, and the next day, the Lady Booby passed with the utmost anxiety, her mind was distracted, and her soul tossed up and down by many turbulent and opposite passions. She loved, hated, pitied, scorned, admired, despised the same person by fits, which changed in a very short interval. On Tuesday morning, which happened to be a holiday, she went to church, where, to her surprise, Mr Adams published the banns again, with as audible a voice as before. It was lucky for her that as there was no sermon, she had an immediate opportunity of returning home to vent her rage, which she could not have concealed from the congregation five minutes; indeed it was not then very numerous, the assembly consisting of no more than Adams, his clerk, his wife, the lady, and one of her servants. At her return she met Slipslop, who accosted her in these words:-"O meam, what doth your ladyship think? To be sure Lawyer Scout hath carried Joseph and Fanny both before the justice. All the parish are in tears, and say they will be hanged: for nobody knows what it is for."-"I suppose they deserve it," says the lady; "why dost thou mention such wretches to me?"-"O dear madam," answered Slipslop," is it not a pity such a graceless young man should die a virulent death? I hope the judge will take commensuration on his youth. As for Fanny, I don't think it signifies much what becomes of her; and if poor Joseph hath done any thing, I could venture to swear she traduced him to it. Few men ever come to fragrant punishment, but by those nasty creatures, who are a scandal to our sex."-The lady was no more pleased at this news, after a moment's reflection, than Slipslop herself: for though she wished Fanny far enough, she did not desire the removal of Joseph, especially with her. She was puzzled how to act, or what to say on this occasion, when a coach and six drove into the court, and a servant acquainted her with the arrival of her nephew Booby and his lady. She ordered them to be conducted into a drawing room, whither she presently repaired, having composed her countenance as well as she could; being a little satisfied that the wedding would by these means be at least interrupted, and that she should have an opportunity to execute any resolution she might take, for which she saw herself provided with an excellent instrument in Scout. The Lady Booby apprehended her servant had made a mistake, when he mentioned Mr Booby's lady: for she had never heard of his marriage; but how great was her surprise, when, at her entering the room, her nephew presented his wife to her, saying, "Madam, this is that charming Pamela, of whom I am convinced you have heard so much." The lady received her with more civility than he expected; indeed with the utmost; for she was perfectly polite, nor had any vice inconsistent with good-breeding. They passed some little time in ordinary discourse, when a servant came and whispered Mr Booby, who presently told the ladies he must desert them a little on some business of consequence; and as their discourse during his absence would afford little improvement or entertainment to the reader, we will leave them for a while to attend Mr Booby. CHAP. V. Containing justice-business: curious precedents of depositions, and other matters necessary to be perused by all justices of the peace and their clerks. THE young squire and his lady were no sooner alighted from their coach, than the servants began to enquire after Mr Joseph, from whom they said their lady had not heard a word, to her great surprise, since he had left Lady Booby's. Upon this they were instantly informed of what had lately happened, with which they hastily acquainted their master, who took an immediate resolution to go himself, and endeavour to restore his Pamela her brother, before she even knew she had lost him. The justice before whom the criminals were carried, and who lived within a short mile of the lady's house, was luckily Mr Booby's acquaintance, by his having an estate in his neighbourhood. Ordering therefore his horses to his coach, he set out for the judgment-seat, and arrived when the justice had almost finished his business. He was conducted into a hall, where he was acquainted that his worship would wait on him in a moment: for he had only a man and a woman to commit to Bridewell first. As he was now convinced he had not a minute to lose, he insisted on the servant's introducing him directly into the room where the justice was then executing his office, as he called it. Being brought thither, and the first compliments having passed between the squire and his worship, the former asked the latter what crime those two young people had been guilty of. "No great crime, answered the justice; "I have only ordered 66 them to Bridewell for a month."-" But what is their crime?" continued the squire. "Larceny, an't please your honour, says Scout. Ay," says the justice, "a kind of felonious larcenous thing. I believe I must order them a little correction too, a little stripping and whipping." (Poor Fanny, who had hitherto supported all with the thoughts of Joseph's company, trembled at that sound; but indeed without reason, for none but the devil himself would have executed such a sentence on her.) "Still," said the squire, "I am ignorant of the crime, the fact I mean.' -"Why, there it is in peaper," answered the justice, shewing him a deposition, which, in the absence of his clerk, he had writ himself, of which we have, with great difficulty, procured an authentic copy: and here it follows verbatim et literatim. The depusition of James Scout layer, and Thomas Trotter yeoman, taken before me, one of his majesty's justasses of the piece for Zummerset shire. "THESE deponants saith, and first Thomas Trotter for himself saith, that on the of this instant October, being Sabbath day, between the ours of two and four in the afternoon, he zeed Joseph Andrews and Francis Goodwill walk akross a certane felde belunging to Layer Scout, and out of the path which ledes thru the said felde, and there he zede Joseph Andrews with a nife cut one hasel-twig, of the value, as he believes, of three half-pence, or thereabouts; and he saith, that the said Francis Goodwill was likewise walking on the grass out of the said path in the said felde, and did receive and karry in her hand the said twig, and so was comfarting, eading and abating to the said Joseph therein. And the said James Scout for himself says, that he verily believes the said twig to be his own proper twig," &c. "Jesu!" said the squire, " would you commit two persons to Bridewell for a twig?""Yes," said the lawyer, "and with great lenity too; for if we had called it a young tree, they would have been both hanged."-"Harkee (says the justice, taking aside the squire), I should not have been so severe on this occasion, but Lady Booby desires to get them out of the parish; so Lawyer Scout will give the constable orders to let them run away, if they please; but it seems they intend to marry together, and the lady hath no other means, as they are legally settled there, to prevent their bringing an incumbrance on her own parish."-"Well," said the squire, "I will take care my aunt shall be satisfied in this point; and likewise I promise you, Joseph here shall never be any incumbrance on her. I shall be obliged to you therefore, if instead of Bridewell, you will commit them to my custody."-" O, to be sure, sir, if you desire it," answered the justice: and without more ado Joseph and Fanny were delivered over to squire Booby, whom Joseph very well knew, but little guessed how nearly he was related to him. The justice burnt his mittimus; the constable was sent about his business; the lawyer made no complaint for want of justice; and the prisoners, with exulting hearts, gave a thousand thanks to his honour Mr Booby, who did not intend their obligations to him should cease here; for, ordering his man to produce a cloak-bag which he had caused to be brought from Lady Booby's on purpose, he desired the justice that he might have Joseph with him into a room; where, ordering his servant to take out a suit of his own clothes, with linen and other necessaries, he left Joseph to dress himself, who, not yet knowing the cause of all this civility, excused his accepting such a favour, as long as decently he could. Whilst Joseph was dressing, the squire repaired to the justice, whom he found talking with Fanny; for, during the examination, she had flopped her hat over her eyes, which were also bathed in tears, and had, by that means, concealed from his wor-hip what might, perhaps, have rendered the arrival of Mr Booby unnecessary, at least for herself. The justice no sooner saw her countenance cleared up, and her bright eyes shining through her tears, than he secretly cursed himself for having once thought of Bridewell for her. He would willingly have sent his own wife thither, to have had Fanny in her place. And, conceiving almost at the same instant desires and schemes to accomplish them, he employed the minutes, while the squire was absent with Joseph, in assuring her how sorry he was for having treated her so roughly before he knew her merit; and told her, that since Lady Booby was unwilling that she should settle in her parish, she was heartily welcome to his, where he promised her his protection; adding, that he would take Joseph and her into his family, if she liked; which assurance he confirmed with a squeeze by the hand. She thanked him very kindly, and said, she would acquaint Joseph with the offer, which he would certainly be glad to accept; for that Lady Booby was angry with them both; though she did not know either had done any thing to offend her; but imputed it to Madam Slipslop, who had always been her enemy. The squire now returned, and prevented any farther continuance of this conversation; and the justice, out of a pretended respect to his guest, but in reality from an apprehension of a rival (for he knew nothing of his marriage), ordered Fanny into the kitchen, whither she gladly retired; nor did the squire, who declined the trouble of explaining the whole matter, oppose it. It would be unnecessary, if I was able, which indeed I am not, to relate the conversation between these two gentlemen, which rolled, as I have been informed, entirely on the subject of horse-racing. Joseph was soon dressed in the plainest dress he could find, which was a blue coat and breeches, with a gold edging, and a red waistcoat with the same; and as this suit, which was rather too large for the squire, exactly fitted him, so he became it so well, and looked so genteel, that no person would have doubted its being as well adapted to his quality as his shape; nor have suspected, as one might, when my Lord, or Sir or Mr appear in lace or embroidery, that the tailor's man wore those clothes home on his back, which he should have carried under his arm. seph's arrival; saying, "Madam, as I have married a virtuous and worthy woman, I am resolved to own her relations, and shew them all a proper respect; I shall think myself therefore infinitely obliged to all mine, who will do the same. It is true her brother hath been your servant, but he is now become my brother; and I have one happiness, that neither his character, his behaviour, or appearance, give me any reason to be ashamed of calling him so. In short, he is now below dressed like a gentleman, in which light I intend he shall hereafter be seen: and you will oblige me beyond expression, if you will admit him to be of our party; for I know it will give great pleasure to my wife, though she will not mention it." This was a stroke of fortune beyond the Lady Booby's hopes or expectation; she answered him eagerly," Nephew, you know how easily The squire now took leave of the justice, and I am prevailed on to do any thing which Jocalling for Fanny, made her and Joseph, against seph Andrews desires-phoo! I mean which you their wills, get into the coach with him, which desire me; and as he is now your relation, I he then ordered to drive to Lady Booby's. It cannot refuse to entertain him as such."-The had moved a few yards only, when the squire squire told her, he knew his obligation to her asked Joseph, if he knew who that man was for her compliance; and, going three steps, recrossing the field? "for," added he, "I never turned and told her, he had one more favour, saw one take such strides before." Joseph an- which he believed she would easily grant, as she swered eagerly, "O sir, it is Parson Adams."had accorded him the former." There is a "O la ! indeed, and so it is," said Fanny; young woman"-" Nephew," says she, " don't "poor man, he is coming to do what he could let my good-nature make you desire, as is too for us. Well, he is the worthiest best-natured commonly the case, to impose on me; nor creature"" Ay," said Joseph, "God bless think, because I have, with so much condehim; for there is not such another in the uni- scension, agreed to suffer your brother-in-law verse."-" The best creature living sure," cries to come to my table, that I will submit to the Fanny." Is he?" says the squire," then I am company of all my own servants, and all the resolved to have the best creature living in my dirty trollops in the country."-" Madam,” ancoach;" and so saying, he ordered it to stop, swered the squire, "I believe you never saw whilst Joseph, at his request, hallooed to the this young creature. I never beheld such sweetparson, who, well knowing his voice, made all ness and innocence, joined with such beauty, the haste imaginable, and soon came up with and withal so genteel."-" Upon my soul Í them. He was desired by the master, who won't admit her," replied the lady in a passion; could scarce refrain from laughter at his figure," the whole world shan't prevail on me. I resent to mount into the coach, which he, with many thanks, refused, saying he could walk by its side, and he'd warrant he kept up with it; but he was at length over-prevailed on. The squire now acquainted Joseph with his marriage; but he might have spared himself that labour; for his servant, whilst Joseph was dressing, had performed that office before. He continued to express the vast happiness he enjoyed in his sis ter, and the value he had for all who belonged to her. Joseph made many bows, and expressed as many acknowledgments; and Parson Adams, who now first perceived Joseph's new apparel, burst into tears with joy, and fell to rubbing his hands and snapping his fingers, as if he had been mad. They were now arrived at the Lady Booby's; and the squire, desiring them to wait a moment in the court, walked in to his aunt, and calling her out from his wife, acquainted her with Jo even the desire as an affront, and"-The squire, who knew her inflexibility, interrupted her, by asking pardon, and promising not to mention it more. He then returned to Joseph, and she to Pamela. He took Joseph aside, and told him he would carry him to his sister; but could not prevail as yet for Fanny. Joseph begged that he might see his sister alone, and then be with his Fanny; but the squire knowing the pleasure his wife would have in her brother's company, would not admit it, telling Joseph, there would be nothing in so short an absence from Fanny, whilst he was assured of her safety; adding, he hoped he could not easily quit a sister whom he had not seen so long, and who so tenderly loved him.-Joseph immediately complied; for, indeed, no brother could love a sister more; and recommending Fanny, who rejoiced that she was not to go before Lady Booby, to the care of Mr Adams, he attended the squire up |