them the Bellman's verses, which happened to come in the box, with horrific cuts of the Marriage at Cana, the Ascension, and other portions of gospel history, and the Bellman himself;-so it was not altogether a blank. We agreed that the disappointment should be an adjourned pleasure, and then I turned to inspect the pantaloons. I cannot approve the colour. It hath too much of the purple; not that imperial die by which ranks were discriminated at Constantinople, nor the more sober tint which Episcopacy affecteth. Nor is it the bloom of the plum;-still less can it be said to resemble the purple light of love. No! it is rather a hue brushed from the raven's wing, a black purple; not Night and Aurora meeting, which would make the darkness blush; but Erebus and Ultramarine. Doubtless it hath been selected for me because of its alamodality, a good and pregnant word, on the fitness of which some German, whose name appears to be erroneously as well as uncouthly written Geamoenus, is said to have composed a dissertation. Be pleased, Mr. Todd, to insert it in the interleaved copy of your dictionary! Thankful I am that they are not like Jean de Bart's full-dress breeches; for when that famous sailor went to court he is said to have worn breeches of cloth of gold, most uncomfortably as well as splendidly lined with cloth of silver. He would never have worn them, had he read Lampridius, and seen the opinion of the Emperor Alexander Severus, as by that historian recorded: in lineâ autem aurum mitti etiam dementiam judicabat, cum asperitati adderetur rigor. The word breeches has, I am well aware, been deemed ineffable, and therefore not to be written because not to be read. But I am encouraged to use it by the high and mighty authority of the Anti-Jacobin Review. Mr. Stephens having in his Memoirs of Horne Tooke used the word small-clothes is thus reprehended for it by the indignant Censor. "His breeches he calls small-clothes;-the first time we have seen this bastard term, the offspring of gross ideas and disgusting affectation in print, in anything like a book. It is scandalous to see men of education thus employing the most vulgar language, and corrupting their native tongue by the introduction of illegitimate words. But this is the age of affectation. Even our fishwomen and milkmaids affect to blush at the only word which can express this part of a man's dress, and lisp small-clothes with as many airs as a would-be woman of fashion is accustomed to display. That this folly is indebted for its birth to grossness of imagination in those who evince it, will not admit of a doubt. From the same source arises the ridiculous and too frequent use of a French word for a part of female dress; as if the mere change of language could operate a change either in the thing expressed, or in the idea annexed to the expression! Surely, surely, English women, who are justly celebrated for good sense and decorous manners, should rise superior to such pitiful, such paltry, such low-minded affectation." Here I must observe that one of these redoubtable critics is thought to have a partiality for breeches of the Dutch make. It is said also that he likes to cut them out for himself, and to have pockets of capacious size, wide and deep; and a large fob, and a large allowance of lining. The Critic who so very much dislikes the word small-clothes, and argues so vehemently in behalf of breeches, uses no doubt that edition of the scriptures that is known by the name of the Breeches Bible.* I ought to be grateful to the Anti-Jacobin Review. It assists in teaching me my duty to my neighbour, and enabling me to live in charity with all men. For I might perhaps think that nothing could be so wrong-headed as Leigh Hunt, so wrong-hearted as Cob The Bible here alluded to was the Genevan one, by Rowland Hall, A. D. 1560. It was for many years the most popular one in England, and the notes were great favourites with the religious public, insomuch so that they were attached to a copy of King James' Translation as late as 1715. From the peculiar rendering of Genesis, iii. 7., the Editions of this translation have been commonly known by the name of "Breeches Bibles."- See Cotton's Va rious Editions of the Bible, p. 14., and Ames and Herbert, Ed. Dibdin, vol. iv. p. 410. bett, so foolish as one, so blackguard as the other, so impudently conceited as both,—if it were not for the Anti-Jacobin. I might believe that nothing could be so bad as the coarse, bloody and brutal spirit of the vulgar Jacobin,—if it were not for the AntiJacobin. Blessings on the man for his love of pure English! It is to be expected that he will make great progress in it, through his familiarity with fishwomen and milkmaids; for it implies no common degree of familiarity with those interesting classes to talk to them about breeches, and discover that they prefer to call them small-clothes. But wherefore did he not instruct us by which monosyllable he would express the female garment, "which is indeed the sister to a shirt," as an old poet says, and which he hath left unnamed, for there are two by which it is denominated. Such a discussion would be worthy both of his good sense and his decorous style. For my part, instead of expelling the word chemise from use I would have it fairly naturalised. introduce into our language a distinction of genders-in which it has hitherto been defective. For example, Hemise and Shemise. Here, without the use of an article or any change of termination, we have the needful distinction made more perspicuously than by and , hic and hæc, le and la, or other articles serving for no other purpose. Again. In letter-writing, every person knows that male and female letters have a distinct sexual character; they should therefore be generally distinguished thus, Hepistle and Shepistle. And as there is the same marked difference in the writing of the two sexes I would propose Penmanship and Penwomanship. Erroneous opinions in religion being promulgated in this country by women as well as men, the teachers of such false doctrines may be divided into Heresiarchs and Sheresiarchs, so that we should speak of the Heresy of the Quakers, the Sheresy of Joanna Southcote's people. The troublesome affection of the diaphragm, which every person has experienced, is, upon the same principle, to be called according to the sex of the patient Hecups or Shecups, which, upon the principle of making our language truly British, is better than the more classical form of Many plans have been proposed for reducing our orthography to some regular system, and improving our language in various ways. Mr. Elphinstone, Mr. Pinkerton, and Mr. Spence, the founder of the Spencean Philanthropists, have distinguished themselves in these useful and patriotic projects, and Mr. Pytches is at present in like manner laudably employed, though that gentleman contents himself with reforming what these bolder spirits would revolutionise. I also would fain contribute to so desirable an end. In its objective use the word becomes We agree that in spelling words it is proper to discard all reference to their etymology. The political reformer would confine the attention of the Government exclusively to what are called truly British objects; and the philological reformers in like manner are desirous of establishing a truly British language. Upon this principle, I would anglicise the orthography of chemise; and by improving upon the hint which the word would then offer in its English appearance, we might Hiccups and Hæccups. Hiscups or Hercups; and in like manner Histerics should be altered into Herterics, the complaint never being masculine. So also instead of making such words as agreeable, comfortable, &c. adjectives of one termination, I would propose, Masculine agreeabeau, Feminine agreeabelle comfortabeau comfortabelle These things are suggested as hints to Mr. Pytches, to be by him perpended in his improvement of our Dictionary. I beg leave also to point out for his critical notice the remarkable difference in the meaning of the word misfortune, as applied to man, woman, or child a peculiarity for which perhaps no parallel is to be found in any other language. But to return from these philological speculations to the Anti-Jacobin by whom we have been led to them, how is it that this critic, great master as he is of the vulgar tongue, should affirm that breeches is the only word by which this part of a man's dress can be expressed? Had he forgotten that there was such a word as galligaskins? -to say nothing of inexpressibles and dontmention 'ems. Why also did he forget pantaloons? and thus the Chapter like a rondeau comes round to St. Pantaleon with whom it began, SANCTE PANTALEON, ORA PRO NOBIS ! "HERE is another Chapter without a heading," the Compositor would have said, when he came to this part of the Manuscript, if he had not seen at a glance, that in my great consideration I had said it for him. Yes, Mr. Compositor! Because of the matter whereon it has to treat, we must, if you please, entitle this an ARCH-CHAPTER. A Frenchman once, who was not ashamed of appearing ignorant on such a subject, asked another who with some reputation for classical attainments had not the same rare virtue, what was the difference between Dryads and Hamadryads; and the man of erudition gravely replied that it was much the same as that between Bishops and Archbishops. I have dignified this Arch-Chapter in its designation, because it relates to the King. Dr. Gooch, you are hereby requested to order this book for his Majesty's library, C'est une rare pièce, et digne sur ma foi, Dr. Gooch, I have a great respect for you. At the time when there was an intention of bringing a bill into Parliament for emancipating the Plague from the Quarantine Laws, and allowing to the people of Great Britain their long withheld right of having this disease as freely as the small pox, measles and any other infectious malady, you wrote a paper, and published it in the Quarterly Review, against that insane intention; proving its insanity so fully by matter of fact, and so conclusively by force of reasoning, that your arguments carried conviction with them, and put an end, for the time, to that part of the emancipating and free trade system. Dr. Gooch, you have also written a volume of medical treatises of which I cannot speak more highly than by saying, sure I am that if the excellent subject of these my reminiscences were living, he would, for his admiration of those treatises have solicited the pleasure and honour of your acquaintance. Dr. Gooch, comply with this humble request of a sincere, though unknown admirer, for the sake of your departed brotherin-physic, who, like yourself, brought to the study of the healing art a fertile mind, a searching intellect, and a benevolent heart. More, Dr. G., I might say, and more I would say, but. Should I say more, you well might censure me When the King (God bless his Majesty!) shall peruse this book, and be well-pleased therewith, if it should enter into his royal mind to call for his Librarian, and ask of him what honour and dignity hath been done to the author of it, for having delighted the heart of the King, and of so many of his * MOLIERE. ↑ BEAUMONT AND FLETcher. liege subjects, and you shall have replied unto his Majesty, "there is nothing done for hin;" then Dr. Gooch when the King shall take it into consideration how to testify his satisfaction with the book and to manifest his bounty toward the author, you are requested to bear in mind my thoughts upon this weighty matter, of which I shall now proceed to put you in possession. Should he generously think of conferring upon me the honour of knighthood, or a baronetcy, or a peerage, (Lord Doncaster the title,) or a step in the peerage, according to my station in life, of which you, Dr. Gooch, can give him no information; or should he meditate the institution of an Order of Merit for men of letters, with an intention of nominating me among the original members, worthy as such intentions would be of his royal goodness, I should nevertheless, for reasons which it is not necessary to explain, deem it prudent to decline any of these honours. Far be it from me, Dr. Gooch, to wish that the royal apparel should be brought which the King useth to wear, and the horse that the King rideth upon, and the crown royal which is set upon his head; and that this apparel and horse should be delivered to the hand of one of the King's most noble princes, that he might array me withal; and bring me on horseback through the streets of London, and proclaim before me, thus shall it be done to the man whom the King delighteth to honour! Such an exhibition would neither accord with this age, nor with the manners of this nation, nor with my humility. As little should I desire that his Majesty should give orders for me to be clothed in purple, to drink in gold and to sleep upon gold, and to ride in a chariot with bridles of gold, and to have an head-tire of fine linen, and a chain about my neck, and to eat next the King, because of my wisdom, and to be called the King's cousin. For purple garments, Dr. Gooch, are not among the propria quæ maribus in England at this time; it is better to drink in glass than in gold, and to sleep upon a feather bed than upon a golden one; the only head-tire which I wear is my night-cap. I care not therefore for the fineness of its materials; and I dislike for myself chains of any kind. That his Majesty should think of sending for me to sit next him because of my wisdom, is what he in his wisdom will not do; and what, if he were to do, would not be agreeable to me, in mine. But should the King desire to have me called his Cousin, accompanying that of course with such an appanage as would be seemly for its support, and should he notify that most gracious intention to you his Librarian, and give order that it should be by you inserted in the Gazette, to the end that the secret which assuredly no sagacity can divine, and no indiscretion will betray, should incontinently thereupon be communicated through you to the royal ear; and that in future editions of this work the name of the thus honoured author should appear with the illustrious designation, in golden letters, of "by special command of his Majesty, COUSIN TO The King." A gracious mandate of this nature, Dr. Gooch, would require a severe sacrifice from my loyal and dutiful obedience. Not that the respectful deference which is due to the royal and noble house of Gloucester should withhold me from accepting the proffered honour; to that house it could be nothing derogatory; the value of their consanguinity would rather be the more manifest, when the designation alone, unaccompanied with rank, was thus rendered by special command purely and singularly honourable. Still less should I be influenced by any apprehension of being confounded in cousinship with Olive, calling herself Princess of Cumberland. Nevertheless let me say, Dr. Gooch, while I am free to say it, — while I am treating of it paulo-post-futuratively, as of a possible case, not as a question brought before me for my prompt and irrevocable answer, let me humbly say that I prefer the incognito even to this title. It is not necessary, and would not be proper to enter into my reasons for that preference: suffice it that it is my humour (speaking be it observed respectfully, and using that word in its critical and finer sense,) that it is the idiosyncrasy of my disposition, the familiar way in which it pleases me innocently to exercise my privilege of free will. It is not a secret which every body knows, which nobody could help knowing and which was the more notoriously known, because of its presumed secresy. Incognito I am and wish to be, and incognoscible it is in my power to remain: He deserves small trust, Who is not privy councillor to himself; but my secret, (being my own,) is like my life (if that were needed) at the King's service, and at his alone; Τοῖς κυρίοις γὰρ πάντα χρὴ δηλοῦν λόγον. - Be pleased therefore, Dr. Gooch, if his Majesty most graciously and most considerately should ask, what may be done for the man (meaning me,-) whom the King delighteth to honour;-be pleased, good Dr. Gooch, to represent that the allowance which is usually granted to a retired Envoy, would content his wishes, make his fortunes easy, and gladden his heart; (Dr. Gooch you will forgive the liberty thus taken with you!) that "where the word of a King is, there is power," that an ostensible reason for granting it may easily be found, a sealed communication from the unknown being made through your hands; that many Envoys have not deserved it better, and many secret services which have been as largely rewarded have not afforded to the King so much satisfaction;-finally, that this instance of royal bounty will not have the effect of directing public suspicion toward the object of that bounty, nor be likely to be barked at by Joseph Hume, Colonel Davies, and Daniel Whittle Harvey! SOPHOCLES. They be at hand, Sir, with stick and fiddle, You have in the earlier chapters of this Opus, gentle Reader, heard much of the musical history of Doncaster; not indeed as it would have been related by that thoroughly good, fine-ear'd, kind-hearted, openhanded, happiest of musicians and men, Dr. Burney the first; and yet I hope thou mayest have found something in this relation which has been to thy pleasure in reading, and which, if it should be little to thy profit in remembrance, will be nothing to thy hurt. From music to dancing is an easy transition; but do not be afraid that I shall take thee to a Ball, for I would rather go to the Treading Mill myself. What I have to say of Doncaster dancing relates to times long before those to which my reminiscences belong. In a collection of Poems entitled "Folly in Print”—(which title might be sufficiently appropriate for many such collections)—or a book of Rhymes, printed in 1667, there is a Ballad called the Northern Lass, or the Fair Maid of Doncaster. Neither book or ballad has ever fallen in my way, nor has that comedy of Richard Broome's, which from its name Oldys supposed to have been founded upon the same story. I learn, however, in a recent and voluminous account of the English Stage from the Revolution, (by a gentleman profoundly learned in the most worthless of all literature, and for whom that literature seems to have been quite good enough,) that Broome's play has no connection with the ballad, or with Doncaster. But the note in which Oldys men |