the God of my falvation, in a degree that was greatly to my confirmation and encouragement. After this I ftill continued feeking unto and waiting upon God for counsel and direction; in which frame of mind I was favoured to renew and increase a living acquaintance with him; and witnessed fresh inftruction to my mind. I appeared but seldom in publick teftimony, and mostly in a few words at a time, and yet I have fome few times been made fenfible of faying too much; and for which I have felt more pain of mind than I have often felt, if ever, for withholding. However, through merciful preservation, I have feldom to my knowledge appeared oftener or faid more than has tended to my own relief and fatisfaction, and, for ought I know, to the fatisfaction of my brethren: blefled be the name of the Lord my God. I bow awfully before him, for his directing and preserving presence through many deep probations. He hath been with me in the heights and in the depths; has ftrung my bow and covered my head in the day of battle. May I ferve him faithfully all the days of my stay here, until I hence and be seen of men no more.

go

CHAP.

CHAP. III.

His exercifes continued. Paffes through some discouragements. A word of encouragement to the exercifed traveller. A view of God's goodness, and anciently with Noah, Abraham, &c. the war, paper currency and taxes. Zion. His fickness, and other trials. filence, &c.

AT

Trials about An addrefs to

Waits in

T this time I kept a school for Friends children in the town of Providence; and having for several years past believed at times, that it might be best to preferve fome account of my pilgrimage through the wilderness of this world, I now began a more regular and conftant journal of my exercises, and the Lord's gracious dealings with me, than I had heretofore preserved. I had before made a few minutes of fome remarkable occurrences, which (together with what was fresh in my memory, and fo recorded there as not likely foon if ever to be obliterated) enabled me to write the foregoing account; and thus to bring it forward to this time.

On the first day of the week, the 1ft of the 1ft month 1775, I fell and received a fmall wound which was attended with confiderable foreness and pain; and next day having in addition to this a turn of the nervous or fick head-ach, I was confined to the house and hope these light afflictions were not wholly useless to me, in regard to my best interest. O! that every trial may help to refine and prepare my foul for the city of my God.

Fourth day 11th, went to the quarterly meeting at New-Port; it held two days, not very lively; yet a remnant were concerned to labour for the welfare of Sion.

1775. About thefe days I went through great difcouragements and heavy exercises; but was moftly enabled to hope and believe it was all for my good, and would tend, if rightly endured, to my furtherance and enlargement in divine things; and, bleffed be the name of him who led and fupported me through them; he did indeed arife for my help and confolation, even with healing in his wings; and that too, when I was almost ready to faint, and defpair of his help; which made me hope I fhould truft in him, and rely upon him, for the future; even in and through all trying difpenfations. Indeed it is eafy to hope and believe we fhall truft in the Lord, when he fhines upon us, and sheds abroad his love in our hearts, making us livingly to joy and rejoice in his prefence, which was now gracioufly my happy experience; but alas! when we have again and again to pass through the valley and fhadow of death, it is not fo easy to stand firm, keep the faith, and trust in God.

My exercised foul has had large experience of thefe heights and depths; and knows that nothing but divine power can uphold us in times of deep probation which we must pass through in our travels towards the land of reft. And O! that none may give out in such seasons, or faint in their minds; it is no new thing; it is the beaten path, and all the Lord's ranfomed muft become acquainted with it, and travel in it, not taking their flight in the winter; and as they thus ftand firm, they will joyfully witness, in the Lord's time, the winter to be over, the fummer to advance, the time of the finging of birds to be come, and the voice of the turtle to be heard in their land. Oh! the pangs and fufferings through which fome have waited again and again for the return of these bleffed enjoyments, these moments of refreshment from the prefence of the Lord; but none have ever rightly waited on the Lord in

vain. Therefore truft in him, O my foul for ever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.

Fourth day 25th, I attended our monthly meeting at Smithfield, upper meeting-house, found fome dear friends fympathized with me in my deep probations: and was particularly comforted by a letter from a dearly beloved friend, written in a manner well fuited to affift and encourage my drooping mind-may I ever walk worthy the remembrance, fympathy, and prayers, of my friends.

Fifth day, 2d of 2d month. In time of filence and retirement, in family devotion, wherein we were engaged to wait upon the Lord, for the renewal of ftrength together, my mind was livingly opened into a fresh and humbling fenfe of the unspeakable love and goodness of God to poor, frail, finite man, in ancient days-particularly I was bowed in confideration of his wonderful dealings with Noah; and how he was with him in the ark; and how he taught him to prepare it for his own and family's prefervation: how he was with Abraham when he left his father's house at his command, and went forth not knowing whither he was to go: alfo how he was with Ifrael in Egypt, through the Red fea, the wildernefs, and Jordan; with David, when he fled from Saul, being hunted as a partridge upon the mountains; with Jonah, in the whale's belly; with Daniel, in the lion's den; and the three children, in the fiery furnace; with his own well beloved fon, in the great trials and temptations which he was led through in the wilderness and among men: alfo how he was with the apoftles, and fupported them when men rofe up against them; and through all their perils by fea and land, and by and among falfe brethren. What fhall I fay? he hath ever been a fanctuary and fafe hiding place for the righteous in all ages, and remains to be fo ftill; and

as

as truly and powerfully fo now as ever. And as my mind was thus led and opened, earneft breathings were begotten in me, that we of the prefent generation, who have known his loving kindness, may walk worthy of the continuance thereof, and never diftruft his care and providence; affuredly believing, that he who hath been with us in fix troubles will not leave us in the feventh, if we firmly truft in, and steadfastly follow him. But if we fhould draw back, his foul would then have no plea fure in us.-Oh! therefore, faith my foul, that we may be vigilant, knowing that our adverfary the devil, like a roaring lion, goes about continually, feeking whom he may devour.

In the 6th month I attended our yearly meeting. on Rhode-Ifland. John Hunt and Nicholas Waln from Philadelphia, and William Jones and Benjamin Sweat from New-Jerfey, attended faid meeting-It held a number of days, the feveral fittings thereof being times of divine favour; the fouls of fome painful travellers Zion-ward were greatly encouraged and rejoiced in the Lord. Dear John Hunt was livingly opened in gospel love and authority, divers times among us in thefe meetings.

On first day the 18th of 6th month, a paper was fent from our deputy-governor to the Friends of our meeting, requesting that fuch as had fmall arms would produce them at the court-house next day, in order that the guns in the government might be known, and an account thereof fent to the continental congrefs. After mature confideration, a paper was figned by fuch male members of our fociety as lived within the town, in answer to faid request, informing that our religious principles and confcientious perfuafion did not admit of a compliance. This was carried to the deputy-governor, who received it kindly, and feemed fatisfied, faying he be F

lier cd