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CHAP. X. Extracts from his diary, and an account of his visit
into Connecticut. : 7th o. 12th, T FEEL that I stand in need of a re
1791. I newal of my strength, in regard to religious life and progress, and am afresh confirmed, a christian's life is (as he minds his proper business) a continual warfare !-Oh my soul, watch and pray continually- and think not to get forward rightly by an intermitting watch ; a watch sometimes pretty well maintained; and anon, almost or quite wholly neglected; for be assured the enemy will make an inroad upon thee, if thou thus néglectest the watch. O holy Father, and Fountain of light, life, and strength, I pray thee, enable me to watch and pray without ceasing.
16th day. Afflicted and not comforted; yee dare not let go my hold, nor look out to vifibles for enjoyment. My state feeined that of almost total abftinence. 23d. Humbled and bowed in grateful prostration and reverence, in contemplating on the wonderful goodness of God to mankind through all ages, especially in opening and revealing, by his holy fpirit, the deep things of his heavenly kingdom to poor frail man.-27th, a day of great dea liverance and enlargement in gospel authority in the ministry and doctrine of Christ--and some faithful labours for the good of the brethren in a more private way—28th, sat under my own vine and figtree, where none could make afraid. -29th, I find yet need of dying daily, have in good degree submitted to it this day. Lord, let not thine hand spare, nor thine eye pity, till thou bringest forth judgment unto victory in me.-5th of 8th mo. I feel that my God has greatly weaned, and is wean. • ing me; but I want to be able to fay, through and
with my Saviour, ' I have overcome the world."* I greatly desire fully and unreservedly to die to every thing that is not of the Father, whether it be of the world, the flesh, or the devil min fhort, to kuow an overcoming of all evil, and all evil motions and desires, so as that they may die at the root. And, indeed, this is the only true and effectual overcoming; for now also the ax is laid unto the root of the tree,'t not the branches only to lop and crop them, but to cut up the tree at the very root. And talk what men will of imputation-none are thofe overcomers to whom the proniise is made and will be perforined, that they shall • eat of the hidden
manna't-have a right to the tree of life'ft-re*ceive a white stone and a new name'enter in * through the gates into the city, and be made pil• lars in the temple of God, that thall go no more
out.'s But those who maintain the warfare against fin, until Satan is wholly bruised under them, and the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus set
them free from the law of fin and death. -Oh! blessed holy God, and Father of all our sure mercies, lead on, I pray thee, as thou hast begun, my exercised soul, through all the remaining steps and stages of fanctification, until true judgment break forth unto victory over all fin in me.
have they hainiile is hope are hind
6th. ---Bleffed be the name of the Lord !-the work goes on, righteousness is said to the line, and judgment to the plumb-line, in my foul. Lord; spare not, nor ftay thy hand, cleanse thoroughly the floor of my heart, and burn up all the chaff in ine with thy baptizing unquenchable fire.-19th, I feel much reconciled to the divine will, and therein to all my sufferings and afflictions, inward and outward; and do not wish them 'reinoved until they have done all, for which the Lord leads me into
chem. * Jokin xvi. 33. + Matt. iji. 10. Rev. ii. 17. .
seperty ft xxii, 14. iii. 12. .
them. And further, it is my desire, that I may never seek or take satisfaction in any thing this world affords, otherwise than according to God's most holy will ; but that I may receive every blefling, every favour, comfort, and consolation, as also every trial, affliction, cross, and disappointment, as coming from his hand--and so learn truly to ' rejoice evermore, and in every thing give • thanks:'* So let it be, O Lord 'my God, for ever, may 1, in every pursuit, attend to thy counsel and direction, may I see in thylight, that it isnecellary and expedient that I be engaged in this or that, either spiritual or temporal vocation-may I be ever ready and willing to pursue every necessary engagement, exercise and labour, of either kind-may a firm reliance on thy providential care and blessing, prevent all improper haste or anxiety-may I purlue, from day to day, the work and proper business of the day with suitable diligence, moderation, and composure, unanxious for the event, or for what may be tomorrow, or some future time ; but firmly believing that all things will, and do work together for the good of every soul that truly loves thee--and that the only right way for me to promote the prosperity of my future days, is, to act well my part to-day, in thy counsel ; leaving the disposal of events to thy providential wisdom and goodness--Thus will day unto day utter speech, and night unto night Shew knowledge..One day's work, being rightly done, will tend towards the right opening to, and performing aright, the work and service of the succeeding day--and here will be found no occasion to anticipate the difficulties of the morrow, for "fufficient * unto the day is the evil thereof.'+ On the one hand, there will be no time to be idle-nor on the other, to be over anxious or troubled. If sparrows fall not to the ground without God's providence-. surely he will never leave nor forsake the soul that
trusteth * Theff. v. 16 18. '+ Matt. vi. 34.
trufteth in hini..The life indeed is more than meat, and the body than raiment.
ily thine Glent adoratioMary
2ịft. Highly favoured and greatly relieved was iny exercised mind, in the meeting at Uxbridge. Truth's testimony flowed like oil, and important doctrines were therein opened to the people.-28th. This morning, I trust, my mind is in subjection to the divine will, though heavily laden with inward exercise. Oh, gracious God, deliver me from all evil, and make me wholly thine!In our forenoon meeting my soul praised God in silent adoration, on the banks of heart-felt deliverance. Dear Mary Ridgeway and Jane Watson, froin Ireland attended, and were livingly opened in the word of the Lord, and spake with life and precision to several states prefent. I think words never dropt from human lips that ever fank deeper into my heart, than a few that dear Mary uttered towards the close of her testiinony-speaking to the Lord's tried servants, inentioned, that where Christ is, there they must be; and that she had felt her mind very nearly united in deep sympathy with some very closely tried fouls present; ihe added, • And it is with me just to re
vive in the remembrance of these, what Chrift b'faid to his dear disciples, Ye are they which have • continued with me in my temptations, and I appoint * unto you a kingdom,'* Oh, there is deep meaning in it; my soul felt it in the everlasting covenant of divine light and life, and well understood the meaning of it. Verily, unless we not only know what it is to be with him in his temptations now and then a little while, but to coutinue with him to the end without forsaking him, we cannot reign with him in his kingdom. But ah ! faith my soul, the sore and almost inexpreffible tribulations and conflicts that are endured by such for a season, as do
truly * Luke xxii. 28. 29..
truly and faithfully continue with him in his templatio
uns ! Formalists may dream, conceive, and talk about -them ; but none know the depth thereof, but such
as do, through all pain, peril, and probation, continue with him. Bow low, Oh my soul, and bless his name for ever, that he has thus far enabled thee to be with him, not only in his reign, but again and again in poverty, sufferings, and death. Thou knowest, thou deeply, painfully, and joyfully knowest, that this leads to, and inust precede thy fellowship with him in glory. But fing, Oye heavens, and shout for joy, ye redeemed souls on earth; as the pilgrimage, though painful, is rightly continued, and he is continued with through all ; every figh, and every sorrow, is far more than compensated to us, by the consolation that follows, when the angels minister to him and us, as fellow-heirs of God, yea, joint-heirs of glory; therefore, Oh thou tribulated follower of Christ, in the regeneration, hold on thy way, faint not, hold fast that thou hast received ; let no man take thy crown ; be thou faithful unto death, and he will give thee a crown of life.
Afternoon, my soul bowed low before the Lord in reverent, thankful adoration, and blessed his holy name. ---And may his name be blessed and praised for ever by me, and all the living.--Oh, the living, the living they alone can praise him—the dead may fing in the dead letter ; but cannot praise nor celebrate the name of the Lord Almighly. This has been a day of divine favour, after a scene of almost unutterable anxiety and bitterness of foul often for many days and weeks past; the exercises that attend. ed me, ihe Lord my God alone is fully acquainted with. But enough it is, that he knows them thoroughly, and that with him in secret every figh is numbered, and every tear bottled up in remembrance ; and will certainly, as his will is steadily a