MISCELLANY

The Day and the Deed

THE SAFEGUARD OF LIBERTY

(By THOMAS JEFFERSON, died July 4, 1826) Giving information to the people is the most certain and the most legitimate engine of government. Educate and inform the whole mass of the people. Enable them to see that it is their interest to preserve peace and order, and they will preserve them. And it requires no very high degree of education to convince them of this. They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.

THE POETIC INSIGHT

(By NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE, born July 4, 1804) It is a heavy annoyance to a writer who endeavors to represent nature, its various attitudes and circumstances, in a reasonably correct outline and true coloring, that so much of the mean and ludicrous should be hopelessly mixed up with the purest pathos which life anywhere supplies to him. . . . Life is made up of marble and mud. And without all the deepest trust in a comprehensive sympathy above us, we might hence be led to suspect the insult of a sneer as well as an immitigable frown, on the iron countenance of Fate. What is called poetic insight is the gift of discerning, in this sphere of strangely mingled elements, the beauty and the majesty which are compelled to assume a garb so sordid.

Ideals of American School Girls

An attempt was recently made to compare the ideals of English and German school-children by considering their answers to two questions: Which would you rather be, a man or a woman, and why? Which man or woman of whom you have ever heard or read would you most wish to be, and why? The same two questions have been sent to nearly 600 American school-girls, and Miss Catherine Dodd comments on the results in the June National Review:

Very striking is the contrast between the lively American school-girl, with her limitless ambitions and cheerful confidence in herself, and her placid, pliable, pious German sister, who is content to be patted and moulded into the comfortable shape which masculine taste demands. From the New England school-girls there were nearly 100 papers; of these only 15 per cent wished to change their sex. Eightyfive per cent were content with themselves as they were, urging as reasons that the lot of women was preferable to that of men. In England 34 per cent wished to be men, urging that men had a better time, more glory, and more money than women. In Germany half of the girls were not allowed to answer this question at all because such speculations might unsettle them, and several of those who were allowed to attempt it remarked soberly, "It is wicked to wish. to be a man." Fourteen per cent are strong-minded, and they despise men in consequence. In Germany

no heresy was breathed against masculine superiority. There is a severity in the New England girl's view of men, she compares them with women greatly to the advantage of the latter in manners, morals, and mental endowments. Here are some of the pithy conclusions and condemnations of mankind:

A woman has better sense than a man.

Women are always better than men in morals.
Women are more use in the world.

Women has more religion than men has.

Women are quicker than men, and they can control their temper.

Women just has patience, when she is crossed, but men uses bad language.

Women bring up children, and the child is father to the

man.

Comparing the New England school-girl with her English sister, one notices that the latter has a good deal of the adventurous spirit which the former lacks. She longs to be Nansen, and discover the north pole; to be Columbus, and find out new continents. She includes Wellington, Nelson, and Napoleon among her heroes, and yearns to be a general and fight for her country. Again, the English school-girl has some imagination; she lacks, perhaps, the level-headedness of the Boston girl, for she includes Portia and the Sleeping Beauty among her heroines. The German girl is infinitely superior to the American, as well as the English, in the matter of sentiment and imagination. To sum up, the New England school-girl is a practical young person with many virtues. She aches to do good, and she never undervalues herself.

The school-girl from the western states is an attractive little person, unreserved and cheerful. Her unconsciousness of sex, her enthusiasm for goodness, her fearlessness, her spontaneity, and her frankness respecting her own merits are among her characteristics. In the first place, the percentage of those who believe in the superiority of women is very high. In Germany there were none, in England about 4 per cent, in New England 14 per cent, and in Indiana 34. The heroes of the school-girl from the west are interesting and various; her ideals, too, are lofty. There are some curious examples:

"I should like to be like Mary, the Mother of Christ," writes one, "because she was holy." "Jo" in "Little Women" excites much admiration. "I should like to be 'Jo,' because she played with the boys and cut her hair off, she wrote poems as well. I should like to write poems." "I want to be like Cæsar's wife, Calpurnia, because she was noble and above suspicion, and because Cæsar was a noble man," is the aspiration of a child of ten. Here is another: "I should like to be like the woman in Browning's 'Bifurcation,' because she suffered and was strong. She will be rewarded in Heaven," writes a thirteen-year-old, martyr-loving, little maid. So many of these school-girls long for self-sacrifice, "prizing the pavement" and scorning the flower, as did the sweet soul in "Bifurcation."

A Scientist on Vesuvius

Professor Matteucci, an Italian scientist, spent some time at the rim of the crater of Vesuvius last year while the volcano was in active eruption. The New York Sun records some of his experiences.

On April 24, the surface of the lava was within about 260 feet of the crater edge. On that day another period of violent activity began, lasting for an entire month. No lava was discharged down the mountainside, but some of the explosions in the crater were terrific, particularly between May 4 and II, reaching a maximum on May 9. The noise of the explosions was distinctly heard throughout a large part

of the Campagna. The Italian professor watched all the phenomena from the slope of the mountain and spent May 11, 12, and 13 at the crater's edge. It is well known that the eruptions since the seventeenth century have greatly altered the contour of the mountain, and that its central vent or crater has undergone many changes. During the period of Professor Matteucci's observations, the crater was enlarged in one of its diameters about twenty feet. It measured, at the top, 164 meters, about 540 feet, across from northeast to southwest and 180 meters from east to west. The flames produced by the sulphurous vapors were abundant; many projectiles were hurled into the air, the highest altitude attained being about 1,800 feet above the bottom of the crater. On May 9, the professor observed a block of unusual size rising above the top of the crater. He happened to have his watch in hand and found that the projectile was in the air above Vesuvius seventeen seconds before it reached terra firma on the slope of the mountain. He ascertained later that it measured about twelve cubic meters and that its weight was approximately thirty tons. When it reached the earth it was traveling at the rate of about three hundred feet a second. It has been estimated that the force which propelled this mass of rock high into the air was equal to 607,995 horsepower. The volume of the solid material which was ejected from the crater during the explosive period of April and May is estimated at about 500,000 cubic meters; and in that time about thirty feet were added to the altitude of the mountain. On the last day of the scientist's sojourn upon the top of the mountain a period of intense violence succeeded a few hours of comparative calm. The explosions in the crater were of great frequency, and the geologist had the hardihood to see everything that was going on. One extraordinary explosion caused a rain of fragments all around him. Myriads of small bits of rock and redhot fragments of scoriæ fell all around. Nobody knows how he had the good luck to escape, for his entire outfit of baggage was destroyed excepting his camera. This instrument and its owner were all that escaped without a scratch.

The French Poster Tax

New York Tribune. Excerpt

The French definition of a poster-that is, the legal definition-states that it is a written, printed or painted placard that is exhibited on a wall, hoarding, or other public place in order to spread information of any kind. Whether printed or written, all posters must bear a stamp, save for governmental and administrative publications whose contents are for public and not private interests. The stamp tax is fixed, plus 2 décimes, at 5 centimes for a sheet measuring 12 decimeters and a half square (49 inches and a fifth square); 10 centimes above 12 and a half decimeters square and up to 25 decimeters square (98 2-5 square inches); 15 centimes above 25 and up to 50 square decimeters (196 4-5 square inches); 20 centimes above this. This maximum is always obligatory if the poster contains several distinct advertisements, and is doubled when it has more than five advertisements. These taxes are paid by means of a stamp printed on the posters, or by sticking on gummed stamps for printed or written bills. Any person who wishes to make use of this kind of bill posting must first of all obtain official permission; he has to pay the tax at the registration office of the district where the posters are to be placed. The tax is levied upon the presentation

CHRIST'S HOSPITAL SCHOOL is to move out of London into the country, and the bluecoat boys, who to sentimental travelers are so many Lambs and Coleridges, will soon be only a memory in Newgate street. The buildings must be sold to provide money for the new site at Horshaw, and to establish the school on a broader basis. London will be the poorer by a valued literary association, and the sale naturally excites protest.

GIFTS FOR HARVARD AND YALE: Large gifts to American universities were announced at various commencement exercises. Harvard and Yale were most conspicuously remembered by the givers. J. Pierpont Morgan gave $1,000,000 to complete three of the five proposed new buildings for the Harvard medical school in Boston. The additional gifts to Harvard for the year were $780,510. President Hadley at Yale announced the gift of $100,000 from Matthew Borden, of New York, for the bicentennial fund, completing the amount necessary for the new buildings to be erected.

THE HEALTH LEAGUE'S PLANS: At the first public meeting of a society, as yet in its embryonic stage, known as the national health league, Charles H. Shepard, M. D., explained the aims of the society. The chief of these, he said, was to spread the knowledge of the divine laws of health and thus eradicate disease. This propaganda is to be followed up by the establishment of hygienic schools and colleges, lyceums for public discussion on health. The society further intends to build hospitals, sanitariums, and clinics for the cure of sick and crippled without drugs, and in accordance with the tenets of the so-called “nature cure." WOMAN SUFFRAGE IN NORWAY: In a few weeks 'the women of Norway will be ready to take part in local elections as full fledged voters. A bill conferring the municipal franchise upon women has passed both houses of the Norwegian parliament (storthing) and will become a law at the end of the present session. Under the new law a woman is entitled to vote if she pays taxes upon an income of at least 300 crowns ($71) in country districts or 400 crowns ($108) in cities. In the case of a husband and wife who have all in common, the wife is entitled to vote if the husband pays taxes upon an income of at least 300 crowns in country districts or 400 crowns in cities.-Chicago Skandinaven.

AMERICAN GIRLS' SCHOOL IN PARIS: An enterprise that has attracted much attention among those acquainted with it is the school for American girls in Paris, projected by Miss Maud Martin, Miss May Server, and Miss Lucy White, all of Chicago. The scheme is to closely copy a foreign school. The language of the house will be French, most of the lessons will be given in that language, and there will be resident foreign teachers; the pupils will be as carefully chaperoned on the streets and at all public places as if they were French demoiselles. A feature of the school will be its expeditions to great cathedrals, châteaux, museums, and art galleries; lectures will be attended at the Sorbonne, Louvre, and the Trocadero, and pupils will be encouraged to see classic plays at the Odéon and the Théâtre Française, and to go to the Colonne and Lamoureaux concerts.-Springfield Republican.

At

the outset of his first book-on Justice -he declared himself an individualist of the strictest sect. Before he had completed his discussion of justice recantation began to threaten, and in his second volume he casts aside the last vestige of his old prejudice and appears a complete collectivist. While he tells the same story that the socialists have been telling for the last hundred years, recounts the old injuries, makes the same glowing prophecies for the future of the collectivist state, and predicts the same dire, bloody end for the regime of individualism, there is a certain sweet reasonableness about Mr. Kelly's propaganda, an attractive sincerity, and a valuable, if somewhat appalling, marshalling of historical facts that lifts his book above the level of ordinary socialistic literature. In the chapters on individualism he reiterates the charge made in the first volume that competition and natural selection lead as often to degeneration as to progress. That may be true, but the statement that one-fifth of the entire urban population ends its existence in the poorhouse or the penitentiary is too great a strain on ordinary human credulity. But no doubt statistics could be cited in support of the allegationjust as equally reliable figures could be arrayed to controvert it.

The machinery of the proposed collectivist state contains little that is new. Mr. Kelly has culled from the French with modifications and emendations of Marx and Robert Owen. All men are to be guaranteed the same irreducible minimum of comforts and necessities. Those desiring more may obtain them by working extra time. Laborers are to be paid by labor checks. Differences in the attractiveness of occupations may be compensated for by allowing a shorter working day to those engaged at disagreeable tasks. It is the old futile effort to make all callings equally pleasing, and would end in hopeless confusion. The disagreeable occupations are, as a rule, the least productive. Labor in every calling must produce what labor receives, even under collectivism, or an unjust burden will be thrown on other groups of workers. The natural law and the one that obtains in a world of competition is to apportion à longer day to the less pro

ductive workers. Can Mr. Kelly reverse this rule? If a hewer of wood or a drawer of water is considered to have done his share of the social work in four hours, what system of social or individual ethics can justify the imposition of a five or six-hour day on the artist or professional man who receives no larger remuneration?

Another feature of the collectivist state is the proposed diversity of employment for each individual. This is very attractive to the man who is held down to a daily monotonous grind in shop or office. So was Robert Owen's proposition that all the work of the world should be done by the men between the ages of fifteen and twentyfive. The answer is the same in each case. The world would soon starve to death. Granted that the man doing one small thing day after day finds life a dull, cheerless sort of thing, nothing in human experience warrants us in assuming that any other form of organization would enable us to produce enough for the world's consumption.

Many of the counts in Mr. Kelly's indictment of the present system must be allowed. It is often needlessly wasteful and cruel, and many individuals are forced to suffer as a result of its operation. But whence can come relief? Surely not in the elimination of personal ambition and the spirit of emulation. The collectivist in the installation of his ideal state must work with the same raw human material that fills the world now. He must contend with the same motives of selfishness, cowardice, and wanton cruelty that actuate men today. How many men would be content to work only enough to live in moderate comfort? How many would consider the good of the comImunity the highest criterion of conduct? Mr. Kelly meets this by permitting the ambitious to work extra time for extra remuneration. What is this but an upsetting of the whole scheme? The result would be in the end as great inequality among individuals as exists today; as much unrest and discontent; and as much separation of the population into castes and classes. Great good has come to society through the working of individual ambition, and the system that throttles it must have large compensations to offer. If the "main purpose of government is to create institutions which will to the utmost possible produce equal happiness for all," then that government is best that limits its endeavors to making the competition between in

dividuals an equal one without handicap or advantage.

A Daughter of the Veldt

A Daughter of the Veldt. By BASIL MARNAN Cloth, pp. 389, $1.50. New York: Henry Holt & Co.

THE living realism of Mr. Marnan's book makes a criticism both unsatisfactory and, within narrow limits, impossible. Throbbing with the soil of which it is a part and from which it derives both actuality and vitality, it is more than the story of a daughter of the veldt; it is an incarnation of the veldt, in which one sees "Above and all around the blue sky floating like a domed flower over the far vistas. Reach after reach of golden grasses, billowing away through somber bronze, glows into the purple haze of the distance, broken here by a great ravine, with a towering mass of granite beyond; here, again, isled by some gaunt, uncouth, barren kopje, here and there dotted by moving cattle, by the glisten of waters, by the dead moonlight-yellow of the harvested maize fields. . . . At night, the infinite shadows, the brooding, monstrous mountains, the whispering mystery of generations gone without a sigh; the sound of drunken carousals, a few scattered, staggering groups of strong men reeling blindly to the oblivion of a besotted sleep. In the morning, the hard, keen outline of ridge after rolling ridge clamoring for labor, the crisp, clear call of the tingling air, electric with vivifying force; the bustle and toil of lusty, vigorous lives carving out the foundations of an empire looming immense and shadowy between their hands to be engulfed again with the night in the mystery of an appalling paradox." The author has drawn the very soul and face of the South African landscape: the reaches of lurid color, the masses of lurching cloud, and the bizarre unreality of the vast silences. These he has woven into his story with singular directness, with sweeping brush, powerful and striking effect, and unusual effectiveness. The burden of the story is the wrong done a beautiful girl by a hypocrite, who, garbed as a clergyman and recognized as such, is a character ruled by impulses and seldom by clear, acute thinking. The child, which is the living manifestation of the wrong, is stolen from the mother by a Basuto woman and placed in a family of low-class Boers. The greater portion of the book is concerned with the history of the child, her up-bringing, the conditions of her environment, and the gradual unfolding of a noble womanhood. While the sensual note is too insistent, when one accustoms himself to view the conditions of this girl's life, the result is natural, and her knowledge a harmonious evolution. The author spends his art in realizing the lower as well as the higher life, and speaks with unconventional directness when dealing with actualities, a directness which may offend those who wish all things veneered with proprieties, but which can not offend the lover of real art or the

admirer of unusual power. The volume is not for young people, but to those "who through the fire have guessed the proportion," the book will be a study of rare power, exquisite diction, and glowing imagination.

of

The Tribulations of a Princess

The Tribulations of a Princess. By The Author of "The Martyrdom of an Empress." Cloth, pp. 379, $2.25. New York: Harper & Bros. THE princess who tells her story in this volume adopts the name of "Muzzi"; there are several portraits of her, and she tells enough of her life to enable one who is acquainted with continental courts to identify the author of the biography of Empress Elizabeth of Austria, published under the title of "The Martyrdom of an Empress." Lacking this acquaintance with the courts of Europe, we can only say that Muzzi was the daughter of a Breton nobleman. Up to the age of seven or eight years she lived the life of a boy, was dressed as a boy, and had no suspicion that she was not to continue the masculine life that her youthful enthusiasm clothed in glamour and heroism. When her father, who had been responsible for the masquerade, died, her mother lost no time in enlightening the daughter as to her true sex and enforcing a changed manner of life and conduct upon the young girl, and at fifteen she was forced into a marriage with an Austrian (or Russian?) prince of thirty-six, who very soon after his marriage returned to the life of debauchery to which he had studiously devoted himself prior to his marriage. He practised, we are told, "vices so low that I would not defile myself by even hinting at them." The prince and princess led a cat-and-dog life for several years at the Austrian and Russian courts, until a duel happily rid Muzzi of her precious husband, and left her free to marry an Englishman, with whom she had fallen in love before her husband's death. The prince appears merely as "Karl," the Englishman as "Fred."

Muzzi loses no opportunity to assure her readers that she is or was a person of immense importance; she was on such intimate terms with the czar that she could enter his presence without difficulty and tell him that he "must" release the imprisoned husband of an acquaintance; official Europe, parently, was in a turmoil when it became known that Muzzi intended to marry a mere Englishman, and her every movement had to be considered in the light of its effect upon the chancelleries; grand dukes and emperors were among her conquests.

ap

Muzzi is not unassuming, her style of expression is overcharged, and the incessant employment of some halfdozen generally unknown tongues is annoying. Furthermore, the tribulations of an unknown princess are not so important as the martyrdom of a known empress, but the book interests because it reflects the glamour of royalty and the deviousness of intrigue in high places.

Briefer Notices

"The Potter and the Clay," by Maud Howard Peterson, is a book that succeeds in spite of its limitations and manifest defects. In fact, after noting the flaws one pauses before making the statement that the book may be termed a success and a work of merit. But that it is this, is not to be questioned, and happily the effect produced is not the result of trickery, but has its roots in true and intense feeling and a sincere and pure emotional perception. The principal characters are a woman and two men; the woman and one of the men is strong; the other man is weak, or rather weakened, by love of the woman. In place of serving his country in the face of danger, he shoots himself in the shoulder, and the duty devolves upon the stronger man. The truth comes out, and the woman deserts the imperfect for the perfect clay, the story finally ending in the redemption of the weak character, but not by marriage to the woman, love for whom had marred the potter's work. (Cloth, pp. 348, $1.50. Lothrop Publishing Company, Boston.)

intellectually.

The labor of writing "The Life or John Albert Broadus," a Greek scholar, critic, and man of many activities, has been accomplished with skill and thoroughness by Professor Archibald Thomas Robertson. Probably no clergyman of the south had such large influence, accomplished more, or represented a greater culture or refinement than did Dr. Broadus. In view of this, a record of his life is both timely and valuable. The present volume is sure to be well received, not only for its biographical excellence, but by virtue of the esteem and love with which Dr. Broadus was regarded by those who had been brought in contact with him, either personally or (Cloth, pp. 450, $1.50. American Baptist Publication Society, Philadelphia.) We heartily commend "The Second Dandy Chater," by Tom Gallon. The plot is woven around "two Dromios," and while not new, is so extremely clever in detail, so fresh and crisp, that it may assuredly be called an original piece of workmanship. The first "Dandy Chater," a thorough-going villain, having been murdered, is impersonated by the second, his brother, who, however, does not know of the relationship. The second, in assuming the place of the first, comes under the shadow of numberless crimes of which he knew nothing, and which had been committed by the first. The intrigues and adventures, the love felt by a woman for the first and bestowed on the second, how the second is regarded as burglar, murderer, and jack of all crimes, and how he comports himself under the circumstances, make a spirited bit of reading when handled by Mr. Gallon. (Cloth, pp. 329, $1.50. Dodd, Mead & Co., New York.)

As gentle and sweet a narrative as it has recently been our good fortune to read is "Mr. Chupes and Miss Jenny," by Effie Bignell. The book is an account of two birds-the author's com

panions. The gentle note of the story, the sincerity with which the actions and lives of these two feathered friends are recorded, the genial humor which pours itself out in the pages, recommend the book instantly to all nature-loving readers. The book is not all sentiment, but has a natural-history value, the actions of the birds being carefully noted and accurately described. (Cloth, pp. 250, $1. The Baker & Taylor Co., New York.)

"The Lovers of the Woods," by W. H. Boardman, is the story of a young man broken in health who finds a cure amid the trees and in the companionship of the streams. The little book is sincere, true, instinct with freshness and beauty, and redolent of the flavor of balsam and pine. The author instructs us in woodcraft and introduces us to many denizens of the forest; but apart from the natural history, the living sensations of springy moss beneath the feet, of giant trees, cool, quiet depths, and brooks alive with trout, make keen with enjoyment our remembrance of the pages. (Cloth, pp. 239, $1.50. McClure, Phillips & Co., New York.)

The student of electricity, especially the student beyond reach of college and classroom, will find valuable assistance in "Elementary Questions in Electricity and Magnetism," by Magnus Maclean and E. W. Marchant. The booklet is original in treatment, and while elementary, it covers a large field, and is thorough in method and conspicuous for the absence of unessentials. (Cloth, pp. 55, 35 cents. Longmans, Green & Co., New York.)

Wright, W. H. The Great Bread Trust. Cloth. D. APPLETON & CO., NEW YORK

Barnes, James. The Great War Trek. Cloth, $1.50.

F. M. BUCKLES & CO., NEW YORK Walsh, Geo. E. The Mysterious Burglar. Cloth, $1.25.

THE GRIFFITH & ROWLAND PRESS, PHILA. Taylor, James M. A New World and an Old Gospel. Paper.

LONGMANS, GREEN & CO., NEW YORK Jackson, Samuel Macauley. Selections from Zwingli. Cloth.

F. TENNYSON NEELY, NEW YORK
Brooks, Asa P. Aldea. Cloth.
Gurdji, V. Oriental Rug Weaving. Cloth.
"Layman." In Yellowest Jaunia. Cloth.
Zelcol, Louis B. Abandoned. Cloth.

L. C. PAGE & CO., BOSTON
Jokai, Maurus. The Corsair King. Cloth, $1.25.
G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS, NEW YORK
Fuller, Anna. Katherine Day. Cloth, $1.50.
SILVER, BURDETT & Co., NEW YORK
Mowry, William A. Marcus Whitman. Cloth,
$1.50.

FREDERICK A. STOKES CO., NEW YORK Clute, Willard Nelson. Our Ferns in Their

Haunts. Cloth, $2.15 net.

Americanized

I love my transatlantic brother well,
I hate his foes infernally;
With conscious pride I feel my bosom
swell

When he greets me fraternally.

Yet might it not, I sometimes ask, befall

That his loved presence might begin to pall?

His kodak on my privacy intrudes,
His beef fills to satiety,

His canned goods crowd what late were solitudes,

His heiresses, Society,

'Tis his-one drop of sweet in bitter cup

"Tis his alarum wakes my servants up.

His oil my lamp, his corn my belly fills.

He builds me my machinery.

And boards that tell the praises of his pills

Adorn my native scenery; While in the Tube-so Yankeefied we

are

I ride perforce in his triumphal car.

He wins our races, teaches us o ride'Tis true, I'm very sure it isOur markets find all stocks are dull beside

His versatile securities;

And near at hand, I hear, the period is When all our ships and shipyards shall be his.

He fills my cosmos, and I can but see,
As every Tom and Jerry can,
Soon I, my kin, race, clime, and land
may be

Essentially American,

And I may own, of comfort quite bereft,

That there is nothing really English left.

-London Daily Chronicle.

A Slight Deficit

A weather-stained, creaking wagon drew up in front of a photographer's establishment in a Georgia town. Beneath its body a lean hound came to a standstill. Strapped on behind was an armful of fodder, and from the whiffletree swung a clanking wooden bucket.

A man clad in jeans trousers, homespun shirt, and guiltless of coat or vest, emerged from the vehicle's anterior extremity. His length of limb, of face, of articulation, stamped him as one of nature's own. Settling his soft slouchhat on the back of his head, he adjusted

his lone gallus and gave the lines to Behind the wife and baby within. these, from the dome of canvas beyond, peered, big-eyed and solemn, numerous editions of the lord and master, merging one into the other with almost imperceptible gradations of size.

Entering the shop, the stranger paused before a case of sample photographs, and pointing to one, said, "Mister, what d'yer charge fer takin' picters like that?"

"Three dollars a dozen," replied the clerk.

Thrusting his hands into his pockets, he turned thoughtfully toward the wagonful of offspring. “Waal, I reckon I'll have ter wait a bit," he said, softly, to himself: "I ain't got but 'leven."F. B., in Harper's Magazine.

A Cash Transaction at Concord Mrs. Eddy-There is no matter. All is mind.

Learner-Is money matter?

Mrs. Eddy-There is no matter. Learner-Well, I have a million dollars in my mind. Will you please cash me a check for a hundred thousand? Mrs. Eddy-Yes, in my mind. Learner-No matter-never mind.Newark Daily Advertiser.

It Mixed Him Up

"As to the coming yacht race," said Mr. Sezzit to his wife, "I think it will be found that there is many a slip between the lip and the cupton."

"What?" inquired Mrs. Sezzit. "I mean there will be many a slup between the lip and the slipton-there will many a clip from the slip to theconfound it, I mean there will be many a lip between the cup and the sliptonno, that isn't right-there will be many a slap from the clip to the cupton-er -that is there will be a captain from the slip-blame it Maria, you always get me confused! What I want to say is that there will be many a slip from the lip to the scupton-what the dickens are you laughing at, anyhow? That's the way with a fool woman. Wonder to me any man of sense ever tries to talk to them."

"Why, my dear, what is wrong with you this evening?"

"There isn't anything wrong. I was going to say that there will be many a slip between the lup and-well, I hope we lose the race, anyway, just to teach you to respect your husband more when he tries to entertain you."-Baltimore American.

Soldier Humor

Humor in a private soldier is not an unknown quantity, as all men who know of army life will testify, but it leaked out unconsciously in the letter of a private received in Long Island city. This is what the soldier had to

say:

"The islands are a bunch of trouble on the western horizon. They are bounded on the west by hoodooism and smuggling, on the north by rocks and destruction, on the east by typhoons and monsoons, and on the south by cannibalism and earthquakes.

"The climate is a combination of electric charges especially adapted to raising Cain. The soil is extraordinarily fertile in producing large crops of insurrection and trickery.

"The inhabitants are very industrious, the chief occupation being the making of bolos and knives and the unloading of Remington rifles and cartridges. Their amusements are cock fighting and monte, theft and cheating. Their diet consists of boiled rice, stewed rice, fried rice, and rice. The Philippine marriage service is very impressive, especially the clause wherein a wife can obtain the privilege of working as much as her husband desires.

"Manila, the largest city, is situated on beautiful Manila bay, a large, landlocked body of water, full of disease, sharks, and submarine boats of Spanish make. The principal exports of the islands are rice, hemp, and sick soldiers. The most important imports are American soldiers, arms, ammunition, beer, and tobacco.

"Malaria is so prevalent that on numerous occasions the islands have been taken with a chill. Communication has been established between the numerous islands by substituting mosquitoes for carrier pigeons, the mosquitoes being much larger and better able for the journey. The native costume consists of a flour sack tied around the waist, and anything under 12 years waits until next year for its clothing."-New York Press.

The Two Periods

"After all," said the Old Codger, in his usual acrid way, "I kinder think that, instead of there bein' seven ages of man, as Shakespeare contended, there are only two-before he is married, and afterwards. During the first period he puts in the most of his time trying to make the lady think he is a devil of a feller; and during the second, he spends still more of it in endeavorin' to convince her that he ain't." -Puck.

"Why is Justice pictured as a woman holding a pair of apothecary's scales?" "I don't know; but it would be manifestly absurd to represent her as an iceman with an iceman's scales."-Philadelphia Times.

"Many American authors will remain in Europe all summer," says a literary exchange. Yes; they can't swim home.-Atlanta Constitution.