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would be such a curiosity that the active framed at once, and hang it in the most members of the craft would not know to conspicuous place in his office. It makes what manner of species he belonged. an attractive ornament, and is proof of
Never lose sight of the fact that you his ability. When he is retained, he are practicing law for the money there should at once employ an old lawyer to is in it. Some may be in the profession assist him. It dignifies his case; makes for dignity's sake. Others for morality's the judge and jury look with respect upsake, or "for goodness sake," but you on his efforts, and often wins the cause. are in for the sake of the almighty dol- When a boy so far forgets himself as to lar. And as success is measured by the appear in court alone, all old attorneys amount of wealth a person accumulates, present should look at each other and your success is not in the number of wink; and when he says anything, they cases you win as a lawyer, or as to your should grin and make faces at each other legal knowledge. It will be computed by like children. It takes the conceit out the amount of money you make.
of him, and makes him realize his insig
nificance. It shows him of what little Of the Obligations of Old Lawyers
consequence he is, and how funny he aptoward Young Lawyers.
pears to the Solons of the profession. The old members of the profession And should he make a blunder, which are under no obligation towards the old lawyers never do, it then becomes the young members of the craft. The truth
proper thing to laugh outright. It is no is, a young man has no business to be- contempt of court to laugh at a young come a lawyer. He has no experience- man. no gray hairs—no property-no knowl- In order to keep up the tone of the edge-no anything—and the old fellows profession, the line must be drawn somehave a right to, and ought to treat his where; and on age is as good a place efforts with contempt. It is presump- to draw it as any other. Young men tious for a young man to appear in any are too frivolous. They are not impresscourt. All a young man is good for, all ed with the dignity and gravity of the he is competent to do, is to copy papers, calling as they should be. They bring and look up authorities for the older at- the fraternity into bad repute. Young torneys. It is humiliating to go into men are good enough in their way, but court with your case carefully prepared, they should not be in the way of old and find a young man, a mere stripling, lawyers. They are competent as railretained on the other side. It is an roaders or as general business men; and awful shock to the vanity of an eminent, they will do for physicians and clergyelderly counselor at law, to be thus pit- men; but as lawyers, they are always ted against a beardless boy. And to see failures. Whoever heard of a young the assurance of him, acting as boys al- man becoming a United States judge! ways do, as though they knew it all. As corrupt as politics are, no political Trying to impress the court and jury party has become so far lost to the eterwith their immense legal knowledge and nal fitness of things, as to run a young great learning.
man for any important office. If a young man has the temerity to Even Blackstone himself 'never enter the fraternity, and succeeds in se- amounted to anything until he was an curing his diploma, he should have it old man and wore a wig, and his jaw
hung down like a bag, giving him the ap- convince the jury that the boys know pearance of suffering from a bad case more law than the ancient fossils who of mumps or thick neck. Even then he have grown gray in the practice, ever would have been lost in oblivion if it had did. A lawyer is no more or less than not been for the Commentaries he wrote. a lawyer, be he young or old; and while Coke was an old man, and so old and gray hairs may demand respect outside homely that a sight of his picture is of the profession, in it one man is the enough to throw the ordinary small boy peer of another so far as age is concern
I never heard of Chief ed. As to knowledge, that is a different Justice Marshall as a young man, and am thing; that forces recognition in all led to believe that he was always old and walks of life. And as the elder brethren wrinkled as he is portrayed in paintings. look with such abhorrence upon the Kent was no boy, or he never could have young men, why should they not in rewritten books on legal topics. Before a turn give a "Roland for an Oliver?" young man is entitled to any considera- When the ancient advocate talks of his tion at the hands of his elders let him experience, you offset it with your endo something to merit their esteem. Let ergy. When he tells of his learning, you him try an important case before a bench call it antiquated, and convince the court of able judges. Let him write a book, that a year's experience of a young man or become famous as a lawyer. Let him of to-day, is as much as ten years of the go hence, and air his attainments among antediluvians. When he harps on the the hills. There is no danger of any one follies of youth, you strike the chord on suffering from his absence, as it is well the weakness and unreliability of the known that lawyers never retire from aged and infirm. When he plays one practice and never die.
tune, you play another. Show the old The profession is becoming crowded men no quarter, for you can expect no with young men; incompetent young terms from them. When they hit you, men; and there should be an effort made strike back at them. It develops your to secure such legislation as will drive pugnacity, and although it surprises them to other avocations. Until such them it does them no harm. time, I would advise you to keep up the Young lawyers must force their elders persecution. Snub the young men, bad- to recognize them, and a very good way ger them, sneer at them, grin at them, to do so is to defeat them in the trials devil them all you can.
There is one of their cases. You must secure cases. mighty sure result from this treatment- When an old attorney commences an should they survive it, they in turn will action, you hunt up or write to the dedevelop into as mean a set of old prac- fendant. Convince him that you are the titioners as yourself and your friends. man that he needs to pụll him through.
After you are retained, then prepare Of the Obligations of Young Lawyers
your case carefully, and when the day of toward Old Lawyers.
the trial comes, with your law and eloA young lawyer should never let an quence blow him higher than a kite. If opportunity pass to show his contempt you know any funny things about him, for their assumption of great learning; tell them; raise a laugh at his expense. and in trying cases where an old attorney These old fellows wince under ridicule is against him, it is the proper thing to as much as young men do. If you win
your cause, you are at once on the road own avocation, are often timid when to fame and wealth, and you have not confronted by other and different possihurt the veteran much, as he has passed bilities of life. So a lawyer, no matter through many fierce encounters, and car- how retiring and uncommunicative he ries many scars as mementos of well seems to be, becomes under the proper fought battles.
influence one of the most congenial and The young men of the profession agreeable of companions. should be on good terms socially with their elders. You will find old lawyers,
Of the Obligations Due the Court from who enjoy “a time” with the boys as
Attorneys. much now as they ever did. And when You should approach the judge with you make up a little party, invite some of fear and trembling, remembering that he the old fellows, too. No matter how dig- is a great man. Once he was only a poor, nified they appear in court, or how miserable pettifogger like yourself; but elegant and unapproachable they seem, some political party picked him up and there is nothing that they enjoy more made a judge of him, and in doing than being out with the boys, unless it so made him an autocrat. Not an arisis a fat retainer. When the old man be- tocrat. There is no potentate so powercomes warmed up, and is sure he has ful as he, and, although he wears no wig struck the right crowd, he becomes one and gown, he could do so if he would, of the most congenial of companions. and they are there (in his mind), and if Old lawyers are full of pleasant anec- you expect any recognition from that dotes and reminiscences of "ye olden great dignitary, you must court it. You time,” and when comfortably located in should not swagger into his presence as an easy chair with a good cigar, etc., though you were going into a bar-room. they can entertain a room full of the On the contrary, you enter the court "coming men” in grand style. You miss more as though you were going into a it badly, my boy, when you fail to culti- church, or into the presence of the Godvate the ancient practitioner. They are dess of Justice herself. Judges are as much like old and valuable books. The pompous ordinarily as a justice of the binding may be soiled, the lids warped, peace, and usually have more knowledge and a general appearance of decay per- than any other lawyer at the bar. No vade the whole volume, but if you brush matter how little their practice was, or off the dust, and have the tact to open how meager their experience before they it properly and at the right place, you became “Your honors," now they know will be abundantly paid for the care and it all, and in the vernacular of the street, effort. You can not shelve them profes- “Don't you forget it.” Indeed, they will sionally, and you make a serious blunder not let you forget it. There is no word when you fail to cultivate them socially. in the language which contains so much From the habit of close attention to busi- dignity as the little word, judge. Place ness, which is necessary to bring suc- it before a man's name, and he at once cess, lawyers feel more at home and are becomes a legal encyclopedia. The word more at their ease in their offices, or brings inspiration, and your brother adamid the busy scenes of the court-room, vocate, when judge is hitched before his than they do in what the world calls so- name, looms up a giant in legal knowlciety. Students who are giants in their edge and learning. Therefore, when you
come near the ermine, tread gently; you sibly intended to be sat upon. But in ex.
consecrated ground. Speak posing it thus, you only do in fact that softly, you are in holy presence. Preface which you often do metaphorically; and every sentence you utter with, “Your a judge is harsh indeed who will not alhonor," and end every utterance with, low you to assume this angle, if you “If the court please.” Stand before him desire to do so. Some judges run a with your hands in your breeches pockets court as a country school-master does a up to your elbows, a big chew of tobacco school; no talking or whispering permitin your mouth, and spit between each ted, and orders you to sit a whole foresentence. It gives you the appearance of noon while he delivers divers opinions "I don't care a
—;" and you can chew on cases which have been submitted to and spit while you are collecting your him, and in which you have no earthly thoughts. Always call the attention of interest. He does it to show the memthe court to yourself, when he is busy,
bers of the bar what a learned old cuss or engaged with some one else. It is a he is; when you all know that he has good way to attract attention to yourself, resorted to the old trick he learned at and make all persons present think you college (if he ever saw a college); the are a man of importance, while the judge use of a "pony." He has simply looked and others interested think you are a man over the digest and reports, and ten to of impudence. But that makes no differ- one has copied an opinion "verbatim et ence to you, and it acts as an advertise- literatum et punctuatum.” Then he obment, and further, impudence is thought jects to you, when standing to address by many people to be a strong element him, placing your foot on the round of in a successful lawyer's composition. a chair, or ramming your hands into “The appearance of a gentleman, and the your pockets; or wearing your overcoat, assurance of the devil,” is a good rule to or talking with your pencil in your follow, and is practiced by the best and mouth. He is determined to keep good smartest men in the profession. (The order if he bursts a suspender. All reader and author excepted.)
these, and many more rules as absurd, Judges very often do things that you you must obey, and obey cheerfully, as do not like. Some are very strict in their he is the judge, and you a mere lawyer. rules as to the conduct of lawyers in the Judges are men; their robes are easily court room, and frequently show their penetrated, and if you have any style power by enforcing petty rules and regu- about you whatever, you will make lations. Such as not allowing smoking friends with the judge. If he smokes, during the session of the court, in the send him cigars. If he drinks (no, court room. Not permitting lawyers to judges do not drink), but I say if he sit with their feet cocked up on the does drink, "Set 'em up." If he likes a chairs and tables. This last rule is cruel good horse, call on him and talk horse. and extreme, and hard to obey. Law- If you are not posted on horseology, read yers, as a class, are tired; and it is a up, or have some jockey coach you. If mighty comfortable position to assume to he knows nothing but law (some judges slide down in your chair, and quietly lay do), and will talk about nothing but law, your feet on a table. Of course, you ex- then read up your law. Go to his house, hibit to the gaze of his honor a certain or room, and talk law to him until he part of your anatomy which nature pos- can't rest. Salivate him on law, provided
gruntled attorneys to sign it with you, and give it to the clerk of the court to present to. the judge for you, stating your grievances and asking him to step down and out. It is a constitutional right all citizens have, to write and present petitions. And judges are constitutionally opposed to resigning. Thus, you are even.
Advice to the Profession Generally.
he does not want to do all the talking himself.
It is a big thing to be a judge, and there are so few judges in the country, that it elevates some men to hold the position; and they are frequently as much surprised when they "get there,” as their friends are to see them there. They feel so comfortable over it that they are continually talking about "law," and "courts." What my friend, Judge So-and-so said; or "I observed to my associate, Judge So-and-so;" or, “In my district;" or, “When I last rode over the circuit.” When you meet such a judge, give him all the praise you can. Tell him that you have heard of his decisions, and they are considered very sound and scholarly by the bar generally. Give it to him strong; you cannot satiate him, and when you have a case before him, you will be surprised to see how attentively he will listen to your argument, and you will soon discover that you and he are a sort of mutual admiration society. Old lawyers are on to this scheme, and many cases are won by "log rolling" a judge, as well as “log rolling” a jury. Visit the judge at his rooms. It makes the other lawyers say that you own the court, and when the people find it out, they all will want you to do their business for them. A lawyer who has influence with the court has no end of business; and the next best thing to being judge yourself, is to own the court, and they who are wise follow this rule to the letter.
If you do not like the conduct of the judge, you can ask him to resign. He may do it—and he may not, with the chances that he will not. But no matter, you can ask him to do so. In any event you show him how little you respect him or his position. It is a good way to show your contempt for him.
Or you can write a petition, and have other dis
Lawyers should cultivate eccentricities. Talk to yourself as you walk along the street. Select a particular color for your clothes and always wear it. Never change the cut of your clothes. Wear a slouch hat or a dilapidated plug. Never brush your hat or clothes. If you do, brush them the wrong way.
Some lawyers drink to excess, break things, raise Cain generally, and thus become notorious. Others go to church regularly, talk at Sunday-school and temperance meetings, and cultivate the pious dodge, to advertise themselves. The former class are never so bad as people think they are, and the latter class are never so good as they would make people believe. Some talk slowly and deliberately and try to impress people with the great importance of their business and mission, while others talk rapidly and impress the public with their learning and quickness of thought and repartee. You must cultivate a bearing and character not only different from all other classes of men, but different from every other individual in the profession. Have your office full of books, no matter what kind. Even though they are law books, you need not read them, as you will not have time to
But fill your cases with books. It impresses the average client with the belief that you are a ripper and a reader, and helps the book publishers. If you