would be such a curiosity that the active members of the craft would not know to what manner of species he belonged.

Never lose sight of the fact that you are practicing law for the money there is in it. Some may be in the profession for dignity's sake. Others for morality's sake, or "for goodness sake," but you are in for the sake of the almighty dollar. And as success is measured by the amount of wealth a person accumulates, your success is not in the number of cases you win as a lawyer, or as to your legal knowledge. It will be computed by the amount of money you make.

Of the Obligations of Old Lawyers

toward Young Lawyers.

The old members of the profession. are under no obligation towards the young members of the craft. The truth is, a young man has no business to become a lawyer. He has no experienceno gray hairs—no property-no knowledge no anything-and the old fellows have a right to, and ought to treat his efforts with contempt. It is presumptious for a young man to appear in any court. All a young man is good for, all he is competent to do, is to copy papers, and look up authorities for the older attorneys. It is humiliating to go into court with your case carefully prepared, and find a young man, a mere stripling, retained on the other side. It is an awful shock to the vanity of an eminent, elderly counselor at law, to be thus pitted against a beardless boy. And to see the assurance of him, acting as boys always do, as though they knew it all. Trying to impress the court and jury with their immense legal knowledge and great learning.

If a young man has the temerity to enter the fraternity, and succeeds in securing his diploma, he should have it

framed at once, and hang it in the most conspicuous place in his office. It makes an attractive ornament, and is proof of his ability. When he is retained, he should at once employ an old lawyer to assist him. It dignifies his case; makes the judge and jury look with respect upon his efforts, and often wins the cause. When a boy so far forgets himself as to appear in court alone, all old attorneys present should look at each other and wink; and when he says anything, they should grin and make faces at each other like children. It takes the conceit out of him, and makes him realize his insignificance. It shows him of what little consequence he is, and how funny he appears to the Solons of the profession. And should he make a blunder, which old lawyers never do, it then becomes the proper thing to laugh outright. It is no contempt of court to laugh at a young

man.

In order to keep up the tone of the profession, the line must be drawn somewhere; and on age is as good a place to draw it as any other. Young men are too frivolous. They are not impressed with the dignity and gravity of the calling as they should be. They bring the fraternity into bad repute. Young men are good enough in their way, but they should not be in the way of old lawyers. They are competent as railroaders or as general business men; and they will do for physicians and clergymen; but as lawyers, they are always failures. Whoever heard of a young man becoming a United States judge! As corrupt as politics are, no political party has become so far lost to the eternal fitness of things, as to run a young man for any important office.

Even Blackstone himself 'never amounted to anything until he was an old man and wore a wig, and his jaw

hung down like a bag, giving him the appearance of suffering from a bad case of mumps or thick neck. Even then he would have been lost in oblivion if it had not been for the Commentaries he wrote. Coke was an old man, and so old and homely that a sight of his picture is enough to throw the ordinary small boy into spasms. I never heard of Chief Justice Marshall as a young man, and am led to believe that he was always old and wrinkled as he is portrayed in paintings. Kent was no boy, or he never could have written books on legal topics. Before a young man is entitled to any consideration at the hands of his elders let him do something to merit their esteem. Let him try an important case before a bench. of able judges. Let him write a book, or become famous as a lawyer. Let him go hence, and air his attainments among. the hills. There is no danger of any one suffering from his absence, as it is well known that lawyers never retire from practice and never die.

The profession is becoming crowded with young men; incompetent young men; and there should be an effort made to secure such legislation as will drive them to other avocations. Until such time, I would advise you to keep up the persecution. Snub the young men, badger them, sneer at them, grin at them, devil them all you can. There is one mighty sure result from this treatment— should they survive it, they in turn will develop into as mean a set of old practitioners as yourself and your friends.

Of the Obligations of Young Lawyers

toward Old Lawyers.

A young lawyer should never let an opportunity pass to show his contempt for their assumption of great learning; and in trying cases where an old attorney is against him, it is the proper thing to

convince the jury that the boys know more law than the ancient fossils who have grown gray in the practice, ever did. A lawyer is no more or less than a lawyer, be he young or old; and while gray hairs may demand respect outside of the profession, in it one man is the peer of another so far as age is concerned. As to knowledge, that is a different thing; that forces recognition in all walks of life. And as the elder brethren look with such abhorrence upon the young men, why should they not in return give a "Roland for an Oliver?" When the ancient advocate talks of his experience, you offset it with your energy. When he tells of his learning, you call it antiquated, and convince the court that a year's experience of a young man of to-day, is as much as ten years of the antediluvians. When he harps on the follies of youth, you strike the chord on the weakness and unreliability of the aged and infirm. When he plays one tune, you play another. Show the old men no quarter, for you can expect no terms from them. When they hit you, strike back at them. It develops your pugnacity, and although it surprises them it does them no harm.

Young lawyers must force their elders. to recognize them, and a very good way to do so is to defeat them in the trials of their cases. You must secure cases. When an old attorney commences an action, you hunt up or write to the defendant. Convince him that you are the man that he needs to pull him through. After you are retained, then prepare your case carefully, and when the day of the trial comes, with your law and eloquence blow him higher than a kite. If you know any funny things about him, tell them; raise a laugh at his expense. These old fellows wince under ridicule as much as young men do. If you win

your cause, you are at once on the road to fame and wealth, and you have not hurt the veteran much, as he has passed through many fierce encounters, and carries many scars as mementos of well fought battles.

The young men of the profession should be on good terms socially with

own avocation, are often timid when confronted by other and different possibilities of life. So a lawyer, no matter how retiring and uncommunicative he seems to be, becomes under the proper influence one of the most congenial and agreeable of companions.

who enjoy "a time" with the boys as much now as they ever did. And when you make up a little party, invite some of the old fellows, too. No matter how dignified they appear in court, or how elegant and unapproachable they seem, there is nothing that they enjoy more than being out with the boys, unless it is a fat retainer. When the old man becomes warmed up, and is sure he has struck the right crowd, he becomes one of the most congenial of companions. Old lawyers are full of pleasant anec,dotes and reminiscences of "ye olden time," and when comfortably located in an easy chair with a good cigar, etc., they can entertain a room full of the "coming men" in grand style. You miss it badly, my boy, when you fail to cultivate the ancient practitioner. They are much like old and valuable books. The binding may be soiled, the lids warped, and a general appearance of decay pervade the whole volume, but if you brush off the dust, and have the tact to open it properly and at the right place, you will be abundantly paid for the care and effort. You can not shelve them professionally, and you make a serious blunder when you fail to cultivate them socially. From the habit of close attention to business, which is necessary to bring success, lawyers feel more at home and are more at their ease in their offices, or amid the busy scenes of the court-room, than they do in what the world calls society. Students who are giants in their

Attorneys.

You should approach the judge with fear and trembling, remembering that he is a great man. Once he was only a poor, miserable pettifogger like yourself; but some political party picked him up and made a judge of him, and in doing so made him an autocrat. Not an aristocrat. There is no potentate so powerful as he, and, although he wears no wig and gown, he could do so if he would, and they are there (in his mind), and if you expect any recognition from that great dignitary, you must court it. You should not swagger into his presence as though you were going into a bar-room. On the contrary, you enter the court more as though you were going into a church, or into the presence of the Goddess of Justice herself. Judges are as pompous ordinarily as a justice of the peace, and usually have more knowledge than any other lawyer at the bar. No matter how little their practice was, or how meager their experience before they became "Your honors," now they know it all, and in the vernacular of the street, "Don't you forget it." not let you forget it. in the language which contains so much dignity as the little word, judge. Place it before a man's name, and he at once becomes a legal encyclopedia. The word brings inspiration, and your brother advocate, when judge is hitched before his name, looms up a giant in legal knowledge and learning. Therefore, when you

Indeed, they will

There is no word

come near the ermine, tread gently; you are on consecrated ground. Speak softly, you are in holy presence. Preface every sentence you utter with, "Your honor," and end every utterance with, "If the court please." Stand before him with your hands in your breeches pockets up to your elbows, a big chew of tobacco in your mouth, and spit between each sentence. It gives you the appearance of "I don't care a -;" and you can chew and spit while you are collecting your thoughts. Always call the attention of the court to yourself, when he is busy, or engaged with some one else. It is a good way to attract attention to yourself, and make all persons present think you are a man of importance, while the judge and others interested think you are a man of impudence. But that makes no difference to you, and it acts as an advertisement, and further, impudence is thought by many people to be a strong element in a successful lawyer's composition. "The appearance of a gentleman, and the assurance of the devil," is a good rule to follow, and is practiced by the best and smartest men in the profession. (The reader and author excepted.)

Judges very often do things that you do not like. Some are very strict in their rules as to the conduct of lawyers in the court room, and frequently show their power by enforcing petty rules and regulations. Such as not allowing smoking during the session of the court, in the court room. Not permitting lawyers to sit with their feet cocked up on the chairs and tables. This last rule is cruel and extreme, and hard to obey. Lawyers, as a class, are tired; and it is a mighty comfortable position to assume to slide down in your chair, and quietly lay your feet on a table. Of course, you exhibit to the gaze of his honor a certain part of your anatomy which nature pos

sibly intended to be sat upon. But in exposing it thus, you only do in fact that which you often do metaphorically; and a judge is harsh indeed who will not allow you to assume this angle, if you desire to do so. Some judges run a court as a country school-master does a school; no talking or whispering permitted, and orders you to sit a whole forenoon while he delivers divers opinions on cases which have been submitted to him, and in which you have no earthly interest. He does it to show the members of the bar what a learned old cuss he is; when you all know that he has resorted to the old trick he learned at college (if he ever saw a college); the use of a "pony." He has simply looked over the digest and reports, and ten to one has copied an opinion "verbatim et literatum et punctuatum." Then he objects to you, when standing to address him, placing your foot on, the round of a chair, or ramming your hands into your pockets; or wearing your overcoat, or talking with your pencil in your mouth. He is determined to keep good order if he bursts a suspender. All these, and many more rules as absurd, you must obey, and obey cheerfully, as he is the judge, and you a mere lawyer.

Judges are men; their robes are easily penetrated, and if you have any style about you whatever, you will make friends with the judge. If he smokes, send him cigars. If he drinks (no, judges do not drink), but I say if he does drink, "Set 'em up." If he likes a good horse, call on him and talk horse. If you are not posted on horseology, read up, or have some jockey coach you. If he knows nothing but law (some judges do), and will talk about nothing but law,, then read up your law. Go to his house, or room, and talk law to him until he can't rest. Salivate him on law, provided

It is a big thing to be a judge, and there are so few judges in the country, that it elevates some men to hold the position; and they are frequently as much surprised when they "get there," as their friends are to see them there. They feel so comfortable over it that they are continually talking about "law," and "courts." What my friend, Judge So-and-so said; or "I observed to my associate, Judge So-and-so;" or, "In my district;" or, "When I last rode over the circuit." When you meet such a judge, give him all the praise you can. Tell him that you have heard of his decisions, and they are considered very sound and scholarly by the bar generally. Give it to him strong; you cannot satiate him, and when you have a case before him, you will be surprised to see how attentively he will listen to your argument, and you will soon discover that you and he are a sort of mutual admiration society. Old lawyers are on to this scheme, and many cases are won by "log rolling" a judge, as well as "log rolling" a jury. Visit the judge at his rooms. It makes the other lawyers say that you own the court, and when the people find it out, they all will want you to do their business for them. A lawyer who has influence with the court has no end of business; and the next best thing to being judge yourself, is to own the court, and they who are wise follow this rule to the letter.

If you do not like the conduct of the judge, you can ask him to resign. He may do it and he may not, with the chances that he will not. But no matter, you can ask him to do so. In any event you show him how little you respect him or his position. It is a good way to show your contempt for him. Or you can write a petition, and have other dis

and give it to the clerk of the court to present to the judge for you, stating your grievances and asking him to step down and out. It is a constitutional right all citizens have, to write and present petitions. And judges are constitutionally opposed to resigning. Thus, you

are even.

Advice to the Profession Generally.

Lawyers should cultivate eccentricities. Talk to yourself as you walk along the street. Select a particular color for your clothes and always wear it. Never change the cut of your clothes. Wear a slouch hat or a dilapidated plug. Never brush your hat or clothes. If you do, brush them the wrong way. Some lawyers drink to excess, break things, raise Cain generally, and thus become notorious. Others go to church regularly, talk at Sunday-school and temperance meetings, and cultivate the pious dodge, to advertise themselves. The former class are never so bad as people think they are, and the latter class are never so good as they would make people believe. Some talk slowly and deliberately and try to impress people with the great importance of their business and mission, while others talk rapidly and impress the public with their learning and quickness. of thought and repartee. You must cultivate a bearing and character not only different from all other classes of men, but different from every other individual in the profession. Have your office full of books, no matter what kind. Even though they are law books, you need not read them, as you will not have time to do so. But fill your cases with books. It impresses the average client with the belief that you are a ripper and a reader, and helps the book publishers. If you