That hardly get their mere expenses
By th' labour of their confciences,

Or letting out to hire their ears

To affidavit customers,

At inconfiderable values,

To serve for jurymen or tales,
Altho' retain'd in th' hardest matters
Of trustees and administrators.

For that, quoth he, let me alone;
We've store of such, and all our own,

Bred up and tutor❜d by our teachers,
Th' ableft of all confcience-ftretchers.
That's well, quoth he, but I should guess,

By weighing all advantages,

Your fureft way is first to pitch

On Bongey for a water-witch:

And when y' have hang'd the conjurer,
Y' have time enough to deal with her.

730

735

740

In th' int'rim fpare for no trepans,
To draw her neck into the bans

Ply her with love-letters and billets,

And bait 'em well for quirks and quillets,
With trains t' inveigle, and surprise
Her heedless answers and replies ;
And if the miss the mouse-trap lines,
They'll serve for other by-designs;
And make an artist understand,
To copy out her feal, or hand;
Or find void places in the paper,
To steal in something to entrap her :
'Till, with her worldly goods and body,
Spite of her heart she has endow'd

ye:

745

750

755

Retain all forts of witnesses,

That ply i' th' Temple, under trees;

Or walk the round, with knights o' th' pofts,

About the cross-legg'd knights, their hosts;

760

Or wait for customers between

The pillar-rows in Lincoln's-Inn ;
Where vouchers, forgers, common bail,

And affidavit-men ne'er fail

T'expofe to fale all forts of oaths,
According to their ears and clothes,
Their only neceffary tools,

Besides the gospel, and their fouls;

And when ye're furnish'd with all purveys,

I fhall be ready at your fervice.

I would not give, quoth Hudibras, A ftraw to understand a case, Without the admirable skill

To wind and manage it at will;

To veer, and tack, and steer a cause,
Against the weather-gage of laws;
And ring the changes upon cafes,

As plain as noses upon faces :

765

770

775

780

As

you

have well instructed me,

For which you've earn'd, here 'tis, your fee.

I long to practise your advice,

And try the subtle artifice ;

To bait a letter as you bid,

As, not long after, thus he did:
For, having pump'd up all his wit,
And humm'd upon it, thus he writ.

785

AN

HEROICAL EPISTLE

OF

HUDIBRAS TO HIS LADY.

I WHO was once as great as Cæfar,
Am now reduc'd to Nebuchadnezzar ;
And from as fam'd a conqueror,

As ever took degree in war,

Or did his exercise in battle,

By you turn'd out to graze with cattle.
For fince I am deny'd access

To all my earthly happiness,

Am fall'n from the paradise

Of your good graces, and fair eyes;
Loft to the world, and you, I'm fent
To everlasting banishment,

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