Page images
PDF
EPUB

Ther. Pr’ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk : thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.

Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that?

Ther. Why, bis masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the gats-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads oʻgravel i'the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rollen livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, lime-kilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

Patr. Why, thou danınable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus?

Th Do I curse thee?

Patr. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.

Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleive silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies; diminutives of nature !

Patr. Out, gall!
Ther. Fincli-egg!

Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite
From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.
Here is a letter from queen Hecuba;
À token from her daughter, my fair love;
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep
Au oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:
Fall, Greeks; fail, fame; honour, or go, or stay;
My major vow lies here, this i'll obey.-
Comé, come, Thersities, help to trim my tent :
This night iu banqueting must all be spent.
Away, Patroclus. [Exeunt Achilles ånd Patroclus.

Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two may run mad; but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Againemnon,-an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as earwax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter' there, bis brother, the bull, the primitive statue,-and oblique

a

memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg,- to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox, were nothing: he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care: but to be Menelaus,- I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of

lazar, so I were not Menelaus.--Hey-day! spirits and fires! Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON,

ULYSSES, NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMED, with Lights. Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong; Ajax.

No, yonder 'tis ;
There, where we see the lights.
Hect.

I trouble you.
Ajax. No, not a whit.
Ulyss.

Here comes himself to guide you.

Enter ACHILLES.
Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all.
Agam. So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.
Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.

Hect. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' general.
Men. Good night, my lord.
Hect.

Good night, sweet Menelaus. Ther. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth ’a! sweet sink, sweet sewer.

Achil. Good night,
And welcome, both to those that go, or tarry.

Agam. Good night, [Exeunt Agam. and Men.

Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two.

Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.-Good night, great Hector.

Hect. Give me your hand.

Ulyss.

Follow his torch, he goes To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company..

[Aside to Troilus. Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me. Hect.

And so good night. [Exit Diomed; Ulysses and Troilus following. Achil. Come, come, enter my tent.

[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses : he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the bound; but when he performs, astronomers foretel it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog bim: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Caschas' tent: I'll after. Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets!

[Exit.

SCENE II. The same. Before Calchas' Tent.

Enter DIOMEDES.
Dio. What, are you up here, ho? speak.
Cal. [Within] Who calls?

Dio. Diomed.-Calchas, I think.-Where's your daughter?

Cal. [Within] She comes to you.
Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after

them, THERSITES. Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us.

Enter CRESSIDA. Tro. Cressid come forth to him! Dio.

How now, my charge? Cres. Now, my sweet guardian!-Hark! a word with you.

[Whispers, Tro. Yea, so familiar! Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.

Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff; she's noted.

Dio. Will you remember?
Cres.

Remember? yes.
Dio.

Nay, but do then; And let your mind be coupled with your

words. Tro. What should she remember? Ulyss. List! Cres. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly. Ther. Roguery! Dio. Nay, then,Cres.

I'll tell you what: Dio. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin : You are forsworn.Cres. In faith, I cannot: What would you have me

do?
Ther. A juggling trick, to be-secretly open.
Dio. What did you swear you would bestow on me?
Cres. I prythee, do not hold me to mine oath;
Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.

Dio. Good night.
Tro.

Hold, patience!
Ulyss.

How now, Trojan? Cres.

Diomed, Dio. No, no, good night : I'll be your fool no more. Tro. Thy better must. Cres.

Hark! one word in your ear.
Tro. O plagne and madness!
Ulyss. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart, I pray

you,
Lest your displeasure shonld enlarge itself
To wrathful terms: this place is dangerous;
The time right deadly;

beseech you, go.
Tro. Behold, I pray you!
Ulyss.

Now, good, my lord, go off: You flow to great destruction; come, my lord.

Tro. I pr’ythee, stay.
Ulyss.

You have not patience; come.
Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's torments,
I will not speak a word.
Die

And so, good night.

Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.
Tro.

Both that grieve thee?
O wither'd truth!
Ulyss.

Why, how now, lord? Tro.

By Jove,
I will be patient.
Cres.

Guardian !-why, Greek!
Dio. Pho, pho! adieu; you palter,
Cres. In faith, I do not; come hither once again.

Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something; will you go?
You will break out.
Tro.

She strokes his cheek! Ulyss.

Come, come. Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word: 'There is between my will and all offences, A guard of patience :-stay a little while.

Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

Dio. But will you then?
Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.
Dio. Give me some token for the surely of it.
Cres. I'll fetch you one.

[Exit. Ulyss. You have sworn patience. Tro.

Fear me not, my lord;
I will not be myself, nor have cognition
Of what I feel; I am all patience.

Re-enter CRESSIDA.
Ther. Now the pledge; now, now, now!
Cres. Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.
Tro. O beauty! where's thy faith?
Ulyss.

My lord,
Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will.

Cres. You look upon that sleeve; Behold it well.-He lov'd me-0 false wench!-Give't me again.

Dio. Who was't?
Cres.

No matter, now I hav't again.
I will not meet with you to-morrow night:
I proythee, Diomed, visit me no more,

Ther. Now she sharpens ;-Well said, whetstone.

« PreviousContinue »