And therefore never can comply
T'endure the matrimonial tie,
That binds the female and the male,
Where th' one is but th' other's bail;
Like Roman gaolers, when they slept
Chain'd to the prisoners they kept.

Of which the true and faithful'st lover,
Gives best security to suffer.

Marriage is but a beast, some say,

565

That carries double in foul way,

570

And therefore 'tis not to b' admir'd

It should so suddenly be tir'd:

A bargain, at a venture made,

Between two partners in a trade;

(For what's inferr'd by t' have and t' hold, 575 But something past away, and sold ?

That, as it makes but one of two,
Reduces all things else as low ;
And at the best is but a mart,
Between the one and th' other part,
That on the marriage-day is paid,
Or hour of death, the bet is laid;
And all the rest of better or worse,
Both are but losers out of purse:

580

For when upon their ungot heirs

Th' entail themselves, and all that's theirs,
What blinder bargain e'er was driv❜n,

Or wager laid at six or sev'n?

To pass themselves away, and turn ̧

Their children's tenants ere they're born?
Beg one another idiot

To guardians, ere they are begot;

Or ever shall, perhaps, by th' one

585

590

husband

Who's bound to vouch "em for his own,

Though got b' implicit generation,
And genʼral club of all the nation;
For which she's fortify'd no less
Than all the island with four seas;
Exacts the tribute of our dower,
In ready insolence and power,
And makes him pass away, to have
And hold, to her, himself, her slave,
More wretched than an ancient villain,
Condemn'd to drudgery and tilling :
While all he does upon the by,
She is not bound to justify,

Nor at her proper cost and charge

Maintain the feats he does at large.

++++

595

600

605

Such. hideous sots were those obedient

Old vassals, to their ladies regent,

610

To give the cheats the eldest hand

In foul play, by the laws o' th' land;

For which so many a legal cuckold

Has been run down in courts, and truckled:

Who, when they're griev'd, can make dead horses

Their sp'ritual judges of divorces,

While nothing else but rem in re

Can set the proudest wretches free;

A slavery beyond enduring,

But that 'tis of their own procuring.
As spiders never seek the fly,
But leave him of himself t' apply;

626

630

So men are by themselves employ'd,
To quit the freedom they enjoy'd,
And run their necks into a noose,
They'd break 'em after to get loose.
As some whom death would not depart,
Have done the feat themselves by art:
Like Indian widows, gone to bed,

In flaming curtains, to the dead;

And men as often dangled for 't,

And yet will never leave the sport.
Nor do the ladies want excuse
For all the stratagems they use,

635

640

To gain th' advantage of the set,

645

And lurch the amorous rook and cheat.

For as the Pythagorean soul

Runs through all beasts, and fish, and fowl,

And has a smack of ev'ry one,

So love does, and has ever done;

650

And therefore, though 'tis ne'er so fond,

Takes strangely to the vagabond.

'Tis but an ague that's reverst,

Whose hot fit takes the patient first,
That after burns with cold as much

655

As iron in Greenland does the touch

;

Melts in the furnace of desire

Like glass, that's but the ice of fire;
And when his heat of fancy's over,

Becomes as hard and frail a lover:

For when he's with love-powder laden,

And prim'd and cock'd by Miss or Madam,
The smallest sparkle of an eye

660

Gives fire to his artillery,

And off the loud oaths go, but, while

665

They're in the very act, recoil:

Hence 'tis so few dare take their chance

Without a sep'rate maintenance;

And widows, who have try'd one lover,
Trust none again till they've made over;
Or if they do, before they marry,
The foxes weigh the geese they carry ;
And ere they venture o'er a stream,
Know how to size themselves and them.
Whence wittiest ladies always choose
To undertake the heaviest goose :
For now the world is grown so wary,
That few of either sex dare marry,
But rather trust on tick t' amours,
The cross and pile for bett'r or worse;