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My Lord, XESTEK HOUGH I have not the Honour to R S D be personally known to your Lordship,
yet your universal Character, distine
guished as much by your Affability and
w Politeness, as by your Wit and Qua. lity, has encouraged me to apply myself to you, upon an Affair, in which my Honour and Interest, as well as that of my Family, are too nearly concerned to be silent.- I have the Honour, my Lord, to be very nearly related to the Honourable Family, whose Apology I am writing ; my Mother being Sister to the celebrated Şir Francis, of immortal Memory. . - Vol. II,
As we are a very numerous Family, and well allied, no Wonder that many of us are employed in eminent Posts of Honour and Profit; and sometimes, perhaps, in the Management and Direction of Affairs of the greatest Consequence, both in Church and State, Now, as all of us happen to be in a different Way of Thinking from your Lordship, all the World sees you have contracted an incurable Aversion to the whole Family. Whenever you take it in your Head to be displeased with the Management of public Affairs, upon every Suspicion of political Misconduct, •the Cry is immediately raised upon us all; the Guilt of every ministerial Blunder is charged upon some or other of our Kindred; though I will take upon me, to answer for every individual Person concerned in such Counsels or 'Fransactions, that they shall separately and jointly depose, upon their corporal Oath, that they have no more Relation to the Family than your Lordship. This is very hard ! but what is still harder, your Lordship is said to take this Liberty in the most august Assembly in the World; where, it is well known, we have not, at present, fo much as: one Friend or Relation to undertake our Causc, or speak one Word in our Justification.
As this must be thought a great Hardship upon so many innocent Sufferers, I humbly intreat your Lordship’s Indulgence, whilft I am endeavouring to do Justice to the most numerous Family in the Universe; and which is, by Blood or Marriage, related to the most illustrious Houses in Europe. · The Antiquity of our Family (an Article that has given Distinction and Precedency to many a worthless Litter, who had no other single, good Quality to. recommend them) may, I humbly presume, with more than equal Justice, be pleaded by us, who have been, in all Ages, distinguished by the most eminent and meritorious Services, and been rewarded accordingly. I know it has been suggested by our Enemies, that we are but of Yesterday; that we were the Aborigines of a certain neighbouring King. dom, transplanted into this and other Countries, all over the Globe, by mere Necessity, to pick up a comfortable Subsistence abroad, which we could not find at home. This is so gross a Calumny as could only proceed from downright Ignorance, or Malice, or both; fincé every one that has the least Acquaintance with History, must know the contrary. It appears, by the concurrent Testimonies of the most antient and faithful Historians, that we have made fhining and illustrious Figures in every Age and Nation under Heaven; and even in our own, in which we are more immediately concerned, we have had Princes, Peers, Prelates, and Privy-Counsellors; not to mention Baronets, Simple Knights, 'Squires, and Justices of the Peace, innumerable.
We are informed by History, that one of our Family was a Conjurer, (an Honour that many an illustrious House cannot boast of) with this particular Circumstance, that his Name was Simon, and he always went by the Name of Simon the Conjurer. But as he seems to have been but a poor Performer, and came to an untimely End, by an unsuccessful Experiment, even in his own Profession, we are not very vain of our Relation; and as he is said to have lived a great while ago, and there has not been one in the Family ever since, we have taken a great deal of
itted intes with our fure or Inom
Pains, both in Private and Public, to persuade the World, that there never was any such Perfon. I mean any such Character; and that all the Pretenders to that Sort of Knowledge are Quacks and Impostors, and ought rather to be punished for Cheats, than Associates with evil Spirits, who have something else to do, than to be at the Call of every beggarly Rascal, or doating old Woman, that pleases to employ them: Whereas, if they had Leisure or Inclination to trouble themselves with our dirty Affairs, they might be admitted into Cabinets and Drawings rooms, might have a Seat in ******, or the Direction of ******, upon giving proper Secua rity for their true and faithful Attachment, and due Attention to the Interests of their Patrons. But to return.
Though at present we lie under great and popular Discouragements, by the unreasonable and ungrateful Opposition of some that shall be nameless, who affect to forget that they owe their present Portion of Wealth and Power to the superfine Policy of the Wrongheads, their Predecessors; yet we are not withe Qut reasonable Hopes of retrieving, one Day, the Honour and Figure of the Family, and contributing as much to the Glory and Prosperity of the present or rising Generation, as our Predecessors have done to the past. To enter into a Detail of the many Services we have been doing to the Public, would be an endless and needless Talk: I shall rather choose to lay before your Lordship, a short View of several wonderful Improvements and Refinements we have made, in the three great Articles of Learning, Religion, and Politics, by which we stand eminently dif