about of propitious fortune. Yes, my friends, I say let them go thrusting their spurious certificates of honor in the face of plainclad honesty; but when they are laid low in the dust of servile dependence, then, I guess, they will find out, for a certainty, that they are the veriest vermin that ever beslimed the paths of decent society. My friends-I shan't meddle with the women in my present discourse, because they were never intended to be gentlemen. Suffice it to say, that every female is a lady in the parlor, and a pot-sluer in the kitchen, according to the opinion of mankind generally. But I will tell you what a real gentleman is. He is an humble, charitable, philanthropic, honest, upright man—which, you all know, is the noblest work of God. He wears the ermine robe of truth, and his jewelled star is his own good name: he weeps over the widows as they weep over the new-made graves of their husbands: he feels for them (in his pockets) when they are compelled to gnaw the dry crusts of adversity: he pitches pennies into the laps of bare-footed orphans, and pays the same respect to a dog with a muzzle on his nose as to one with a gold ring about his neck. He puts no molasses on his tongue to attract the gilded flies of fashion, nor wounds innocent breasts with the barbed arrows of slander. He venerates the grey hairs of age, and leads little children by the hand along the flowery paths of virtue. He is grave with the grave, and gay with the gay, but never burns his nose in the fiery cup of dissipation, nor muds his trowsers with the filth of lewdness. He doesn't frighten four days out of February by joining in the uproars of Hard Ciderites, O. Ks. and Kinderhookers, but keeps himself, at all times, as quiet as a clam and unoffending as a kid. Like myself, he dresses plain, neat and simple, and takes more care to adorn his immortal mind with the laurels of learning, than to rig up foolishly that clay-built tabernacle, the body, which to-day is, and to-morrow is mingled with the common rubbish of earth. Such, my friends, is the character of a genuine gentleman; and I have no doubt that, when dame Nature first completed one of the kind, she came near bursting her corsets with pride; as she had every reason to be proud of having formed a mortal with all the attributes of an angel destitute of wings. And now, my dear friends, having exhibited to you the difference between mere outside show and internal worth, it behooves us all to doff our duds of vainness and pride, and put on the clean gar ments of morality, virtue, and strict integrity, as these will never need washing, nor even grow thread-bare, through the countless ages of eternity. So mote it be! ON KISSING. TEXT.-For me, I kiss but very few, But with that kiss my heart goes too: I hold a very Judas he Who'd kiss but in sincerity. MY HEARERS-kisses may be reckoned among the luxuries of life, rather than among its necessaries; and the reason why so many are fond of indulging in them is, because they belong to the superfluities of this world, and contribute neither to the nourishment of the body nor to the welfare of the soul, but merely afford a moment's gratification. Formal or ceremonious kisses are like manufactured flowers-very fine in appearance, but wanting in fragrance; and their superabundance only goes to show that the present is a very artificial state of society, as the monkey said when his master put breeches on him. The common custom of kissing the Bible in order to give the appearance of solemnity to an oath, unless the kiss be hot from the heart, is impious mockery, and ought never to be practised in a country like this, where christianity and common sense are supposed to be closely combined. This cold kind of kissing produces no blissful excitement, and often leads to bad results; and I have no doubt but the old woman experienced more pleasure when she kissed her cow, than half of the young men who bestow busses upon the cheek of beauty, unwarmed by the fire of affection. My young friends-you may go to your private evening parties, where all is gayety, joyety and hilarity-where the lovely angels of earth, dressed in the snowy robes of purity, look tempting enough to make a saint turn sinner, and perform a pilgrimage from paradise to perdition for the sake of a single glorious smack. Go then, and feast till you fatten upon but be assuforfeited kisses; red that, although they may be attended with some little sport and amusement, they are just as destitute of real extacy as a fox's back is of fur in the month of June, or an oyster of fine flavor in August. True bliss only attends the warm kiss of fervent love When a young man presses the girl that he sincerely loves to his bosom-when heart meets heart-when soul mingles with soul— and when lips meet lips-Oh, then come exquisite touches of tenderness!—then he cannot help feeling a sort of furziness all over! —and she must unquestionably feel as though she were ready to pin-feather at the moment. Such, my young brethren, are the delightful, but indescribable, sensations attending the kiss of pure and unadulterated love. But he that kisses only to deceive and seduce, imbibes a poison at the time, which rankles in his bosom, and induces more or less of grief and mortification, according to the injury inflicted. I hold him a very Judas at best—and if, after committing the deed, he were to go straightway and hang himself, society would reckon his loss as an unlooked-for and fortunate gain. My hearers-as for me, I don't dive very deeply into miscellaneous kissing, and consequently kiss but few; but, when I do kiss, an explosion takes place which must convince all within hearing that it originates from the heart, and is meant in earnest. There was a time, in my school-boy days, when I could extract the sweets of a kiss as calmly, composedly, and I may say as coldly, as a bee sucks the honey from a hollyhock; but now I never undertake the business of bussing unless I go into it with a heart heated in the blaze of enthusiasm. A mother kisses her child, and no one presumes to mistrust her motives: true lovers do the same to one another, and no evil consequences ensue ;-doves bill and coo, and they know no more about the practised arts of love than a man knows when he goes to sleep ;—but oh! this kissing to gain some mean, mercenary or unlawful end, ought never to be countenanced in a christian community. To kiss in jest, as is often practised by chaps among the girls, is productive of no absolute harm nor actual good; yet the young men love to indulge in it; and so long as the amusement is innocent in itself, I have no objections to their gratifying their naughty, but not wicked, propensities, to their hearts' content. But they must be careful whom they kiss, and how they kiss. Some girls will undergo the pleasurable punishment as quietly as a good-natured child submits to baptism by sprinkling—some twist and squirm like an eel while being skinned, and either return a smart slap in the face, or exercise no other defence than by merely saying, 'Why! aint you ashamed!—and then again there are others whom it is as dangerous to attempt to kiss as it would be to undertake to break open the trunk of an ele phant. Look out for this latter sort, my young friends; for they have teeth like a tiger's and claws like a wild cat's-and you must keep at a respectful distance, or pay dearly for your rashness. You, married men, may greet one another with a holy kiss, but don't kiss each others' wives, lest the green-eyed monster haunt the blooming bowers of matrimony, and every beautiful blossom of connubial bliss be blighted in the frost-bringing breeze of jealousy. You, young folks, of both genders, partake prudently of the pleasures of kissing, now while every kiss is rendered hot by the enthusiasm of youthful ardor-for, like buckwheat cakes, they are only good while hot; and they will grow cold for a certainty as you go down into the frosty vale of years, where beauty loses its charms, and pleasure its power to entice. I want you, my young sinners, to kiss and get married; and then devote your time to the study of morality and money-making. Then let your homes be well provided with such comforts and necessaries as piety, pickles, potatoes, pots and kettles, brushes, brooms, benevolence, bread, charity, cheese, crackers, faith, flour, affection, cider, sincerity, onions, integrity, vinegar, virtue, wine, and wisdom. Have all these always on hand, and happiness will be with you. Don't drink anything intoxicating eat moderately-go about business after breakfast lounge a little after dinner-chat after tea-and kiss after quarrelling; and all the joy, the peace, and the bliss the earth can afford shall be yours, till the graves close over you, and your spirits are borne to a brighter and a happier world. So mote it be ! ON AVARICE. TEXT.-God made man, and man made money, MY HEARERS-if you were to ask me for what purpose man was created, I should say at once, he was created to love, serve and obey his Maker, and to do all the good he can, without directly meddling with the business of others: but, generally speaking, he does like to believe this doctrine: He'd rather believe that the chief end of man Is to keep what he's got, and to get what he can. I think, my hearers, that man has made money his chief end, whe ther he is designed for it or not. Go where you will among the nations of the earth-among the enlightened, civilized, half-civilized, savage, heathen, barbarian, unitarian, trinitarian, bibletarian, nothingarian, and Money is the god bowed down to by all. Yes, my friends, it is the general or universal god for the whole world. There is but one greater, and more powerful; but it makes me feel bad to say, that this greater One is most shamefully slighted by the unhallowed attentions paid the other. The difference is, one is worshipped six days in the week-aye, I may say seven-while the other is worshipped only one day—and, in thousand of cases, not even that. You may well hang down your heads, ye proselytes of modern avarice, and blush for the shameful truths that I fire off at you! I shoot no blank cartridges—mine are no paper wads— but, with the leaden bullets of conviction, I mean to pierce your understanding-chests, which, alas! have been converted into sub-treasuries for miserly, worldly, gain-getting, hard-currency thoughts. Supposing, my hearers, that I should, in the superabundance of truth and honesty, have the superfluous kindness to say that you were all worshippers of false gods, the same as are those pagan idolaters of the East, who don't know enough to move back when too near the fire: supposing I should say this-what might you do to me? You might, perhaps, tar and feather me--you might ride me on a rail, as averse as I am to such a mode of travelling-you might persecute me to the fullest extent of the lynch law Therefore I shan't say any such thing: but I will venture to say, that between you and the poor ignorant heathen, there is a practical likeness. They bow down to a log of wood, a piece of stone, or a pair of stuffed breeches; and you worship pieces of gold, bits of silver, and scraps of paper. How much better then, are you than they? Not but a precious little, when the moral and intellectual advantages which you possess are thrown into the scale of consideration. They, poor things, are surrounded by the thickest darkness of ignorance-so thick that their little sixteen-to-the pound candles of instinct can burn but with a sickly glare: but you, my dear friends, are differently situated. Here you are, placed in an ever-blooming garden of knowledge. The sun of enlightenment shines down upon you from an unclouded firmament of peace around you, on every side, flow streams of learning, enriching the soil of your intellects, and beautifying the flowery vales |