Was heded drawen and quarterd

And dyed stinkyngly martred

Loe yet for all that

He ware a cardinals hat
In him was small fayth
As mine auctor sayth
Not for that I meane

Suche a casuelty should be seene
Or suche chaunce should fal
Unto our cardinal.

Almightye God I trust
Hath for him discuste
That of force he muste
Be faythfull, true and iuste
To oure most royal kynge
Chief rote of his makyng
Yet it is a wilye mouse

That can bylde his dwelling house
Within the cattes eares
Withouten drede or feare
It is a nice reconing
To put al the gouernyng
All the rule of this land
Into one mans hand
One wise mans head

May stand somwhat in stede
But the wittes of many wyse
Much better can deuise
By their circumspection
And their sad direction
To cause the commune weale
Longe to endure in heale

Christ kepe king Henry the eyght
From trechery and disceipt
Aud graunt him grace to know
The faucon from the crow
The wolfe from the lambe
From whens that maistife came
Let him neuer confounde
The gentil greyhound
Of this matter the ground
Is easy to expound
And sone may be perceyued
How the world is conueyed

But harke my frend one worde

In earnest or in borde

Tel me now in this stede

Is maister Mewt as dead

The kinges French secretary
And his vntrue aduersary

For he sent in writing

To Fraunces the French kynge

Of our masters counsel in eueri thing
That was a perillous rekenyng
Nay, nay, he is not dead

But he was so payned in the head
That he shall neuer eat more bred
Now he is gone to another stede
With a bul under lead
By way of commission
To a straunge iurisdiction
Called Diminges Dale
Farre beyonde Portyngale
And bath his pasporte to pas
Ultra sauro matas

To the deuil syr Sathanas
To Pluto and syr Bellyal
The deuils vicare generall

And to his colledge conuentuall
As wel calodemonial

As to cacademoniall

To puruey for our cardinall
A palace pontificall

To kepe his court prouinciall
Upon articles judiciall

To contend and to striue
For his prerogatiue
Within that consistory

To make sommons peremptorye
Before some prothonotory
Imperial or papal

Upon this matter misticall

I haue told you part, but not all
Here after perchaunce I shall
Make a large memoriall
And a further rehersall
And more paper I thinke to blot
To the court why I came not
Desiring you aboue all thing
To kepe you from laughyng
Whan ye fall to redyng
Of this wanton scrowle
And pray for Mewtas soule
For he is wel past and gone
That wold God euery chone
Of his affinitie

Were gone as wel as he
Amen, amen, say ye
Of your inward charitie.
Amen.

Of your inward charitie.

IT were greate ruthe
For writinge of truthe
Anye manne shoulde be
In perplexitie

Of displeasure

For I make you sure
Where trouth is abhord
It is a playne recorde
That there wantes grace
In whose place
Dothe occupye
Full vngraciously
Fals flattery
Fals trechery
Fals bryberye
Subtyle Sym Sly
With mad folye
For who can best lye
He is best set by
Than farewell to thee
Welthfull felicitee
For prosperitie
Awaye than wyll flee
Than muste we agree
With pouertye
For misery

With penurye
Miserably

And wretchedly
Hathe made Askry
And oute crye
Folowynge the chase
To dryue away grace
Yet sayest thou percase
We can lacke no grace
For my lordes grace
And my ladyes grace
With trey deuse ase

Marke me that chase

In the tennis play
For sinke quater trey
Is a tal man

He rob, but we ran
Hay the gye and the gan
The graye goose is no swan
The waters were wan
And beggers they ban
And they cursed Datan
De tribu Dan

That this worke began
Palam et clam

With Balak and Balam

The golden ram

Of Flemmyng dam
Sem, Japheth, or Cam?
But how come to pas
Your cupboorde that was
Is turned to glasse
From siluer to brasse
From golde to pewter
Or els to a newter
To copper, to tyn
To leade, or alcumin

A goldsmyth your mayre
But the chefe of your fayre
Might stand now by potters
And suche as sel trotters
Pytchars and potshordes
This shrewdly accordes
To be a cupborde for lordes

My lord now and sir knyghte
Good euen and good nyghte
For now sir Tristram
Ye muste weare buckram

Or Canuas of Cane

For silkes or wane

Our royals that shone
Our nobles are gone
Amonge the Burgonions
And Spanyardes onyons
And the Flanderkyns

Gyl sweates and Cate spinnes
They are happy that wynnes
But Englande may well say
Fye on this winnyng alway
Now nothing, but pay pay
With laughe and lay downe
Borough, citie and towne

Good springe of Lanam
Muste counte what became
Of his clothe makyng
He is at such takyng
Though his purse wax dul
He must tax for his wul
By nature of a new writ
My lordes grace nameth it
A quia non satisfacit
In the spight of his teeth

He must pay agayne
A thousand or twayn
Of his gold in store
And yet he payde before
And hundred pound and more
Which pincheth hym sore

My lordes grace wil bryng
Downe thys hye sprynge
And brynge it so lowe
It shal not euer flow

Suche a prelate I trow
Were worthy to row

Thorow the streytes Marocke
To the gybbet of Baldock
He wold dry vp the streames
Of nine kynges realme

Al riuers and wels

Al waters that swels
For with vs he so mels

That within England dwels

I would he were somwhere els
For els by and by

He will drinke vs so dry
And sucke vs so nye

That men shall scantly
Haue
penny or halpennye
God saue hys noble grace
And graunt him a place
Endlesse to dwel
With the deuill of hel
For and he were there
We nead neuer feare
Of the feendes blacke
For I vndertake

He wold so brag and crake
That he wold than make
The deuils to quake

To shudder and to shake
Lyke a fier drake

And with a cole rake

Bruse them on a brake

And binde them to a stake

And set hel on fyre

At his owne desire

He is such a grym syre

And such a potestolate

And suche a potestate

That he wold breke the braynes

Of Lucifer in his chaines

And rule them eche one

In Lucifers trone

I would he were gone
For amonge vs is none
That ruleth, but he alone
With oute all good reason
And all oute of season
For Folam Peason
With him be not geson
They grow very ranke
Upon euery banke
Of his herbers greene
With my lady bright and sheene
On their game it is seen
They play not al cleen
And it be as 1 weene

But as touching discretion
With sober direction

He kepeth them in subiection
They can haue no protection
To rule nor to guide
But all must be tryde
And abide the correction
Of him with ful affection
For as for wytte
The deuill speed whitte

But brainsicke and braynlesse

Witles and reachlesse
Careles and shamelesse
Thriftles and gracelesse
Together are bended
And so condiscended
That the commune welth

"Shal neuer baue good helth
But tatterd and tugged
Ragged, and rugged
Shauen and shorne

And all threde bare worne
Such gredines

Such nedines
Miserablenes
With wretchednes

Hath brought in distres
And much heauines
And great dolour
England the flour
Of relucent honour
In old commemoracion
Most royal English nacion
Now all is out of facion
Almost in desolacion
I speake by protestacion
God of his miseracion
Send better reformacion

Lo, for to do shamfully
He judgeth it no foly
But to write of his shame
He saythe we are to blame
What a frensi is this
No shame to do amys
And yet he is a shamed
To be shamefully named
And oft prechours be blamed
Bycause they haue proclamed
His madnes by writing
His simplenes resiting
Remording and biting
With chiding and with fiting
Shewyng him Goddes laws
He calleth the preachers dawes.

And of holy scriptures sawes
He counteth them for gigawes
And putteth them to scilence
And with wordes of violence
Like Pharao, void of grace
Did Moyses sore manase
And Aron sore he thret
The word of God to let

This Maumet in likewise
Against the church doth rise
The preachoure he doth dispise
With crakyng in such wise
So bragging all with bost
That no preachour almost
Dare speake for hys lyfe
Of lordes grace, nor his wyfe
For he hath such a bul
He may take whome he wul
And as many as him likes

May eat pigges in Lent for pykes

After the sectes of heretikes

For in Lent he wil eate

Al maner of fleshe meate

That he can any where geat
With other abusions great
Whereof to trete

It wold make the deuill to swet

For all priuileged places
He brekes and defaces
All places of religion
He hath them in derision
And maketh such prouision
To driue them at diuision
And finally in conclusion
To bring them to confusion
Sainct Albons to recorde
Wherof this vngracious lorde
Hath made him self abbot
Against their willes god wot
Al this he doth deale

Vnder strength of the great seall
And by his legacy

Which madly he doth applye
Unto an extrauagancye
Pyked out all good law
With reasons that ben raw
Yet whan he toke first his hat
He said he knew what was what
Al justice he pretended

Al thinges should be amended
Al wronges he wold redress
Al injuries he wold repres
Al periuries he wold oppresse
And yet this graceles elfe
He is periured himselfe
As plainlye it dothe appere
Who list to enquere

In the regestry

Of my lord of Cantorbury
To whome he was professed

In thre pointes expressed

The first to do him reuerence The second to owe him obedience The third with whole affection To be vnder his subiection

But now he maketh obiection

Under the protection

Of the kinges great seale

That he setteth neuer a deale

By his former othe

Whether God be pleased or wroth
He maketh so proud pretence
That in his equipolens

He iudgeth him equiualent
With God omnipotent
But yet beware the rod
And the stroke of God
The apostel Peter
Had a pore miter
And a pore cope

Whan he was create pope
Fyrst in Antioche
He did neuer approche
Of Rome to the see
Wyth suche dignitie

Sainct Dunstan what was he
Nothing he saieth lyke to me
There is a diuersitie

Betwene him and me

We passe hym in degre

As legatus a latere

Ecce sacerdos magnus

That wyll hed vs and hange vs
And straightly strangle vs
That he maye fang vs
Decre and decretall
Constitucion prouincial!

Now God amende that is amis For I suppose that he is

Of Jeremy the whisking rod
The flavle, the scourge
Of almighty God

This Naman Sirus

So fel and so irous
So ful of melancholy
With a flap before his eye
Men wene that he is pocky

Or els his surgions they lye
For as far as they can spy
By the craft of surgery
It is manus Domini

And yet this proud Antiochus
He is so ambicious

So elate, and so vicious
And so cruel harted

That he will not be conuerted
For he setteth God a parte
He is now so ouerthwart
And so payned with panges
That al his trust banges
In Balthosor, which healed
Domingos nose, that was wheled
That Lumberdes nose mean I
That standeth yet awry

It was not healed alderbest

It standeth somewhat on the west

I meane Domingo Lomelyn
That was wonte to win
Muche mony of the kyng

At the cardes and haserding

Balthasor that healed Domingos pose
Trom the puskilde pocky pose
Now with his gummes of Araby

Hath promised to hele our cardinals eie
Yet some surgions put a dout
Lest he will put it clean out

And make hym lame of bis nether lims
God send bym sorow for his sinnes
Sum men might aske a question

By whose suggestion

I toke on hand this warke

Thus boldly for to barke

And men liste to harke
And my wordes marke
I wyl answere lyke a clerke
For truly and vnfayned
I am forcebly constrained
At Juuinals request

To wryght of this glorious gest
Of this vaine glorious beast
His fame to be encreast
At euery solempne feast
Quia difficile est

Satiram non scribere?

Now master doctour, how saye ye
What so euer your name be
What though ye be namelesse
Ye shall not escape blamelesse
Nor yet shal scape shamelesse

Mayster doctor in your degre
Your self madly ye ouer see
Blame Juuinall and blame not me
Maister doctor diricum
Omne animi vicium, &c.

As Juuinall doth record
A small defaute in a great lorde
A lytle cryme in a greate estate
Is muche more inordinate
And more horrible to beholde
Than any other a thousand fold
Ye put to blame ye wot nere whome
Ye may weare a cockes coome
Your fond hed in your furred hood
Hold ye your tounge ye can no good
And at more conuenient time

I may fortune for rime
Somwhat of your madnesse
For small is your sadnesse
To put any man in lacke
And say yll behynde hys backe
And my wordes marke trulye
That ye cannot byde thereby
For Smegma non est sinamomum
But de absentibus nil nisi bonum
Complaine or do what ye will

Of your complaint it shal not skill
This is the tenor of my bil

A daucocke ye be, and so shalbe still
Sequitur epitoma

De morbilloso Thoma
Nec non obscæno

De Poliphemo, &c.

PORRO perbelle dissimulatum

Illum Pandulphum tantum legatum
Tam formidatum nuper prelatum
Naman Syrum nunc longatum
In solitudine jam commoratum
Neapolitano morbo gravatum
Malagmate, cataplasmati statum
Pharmacopolæ ferro foratum
Nihilo magis alleviatum
Nihilo melius aut medicatum
Relictis famulis ad famulatum
Quod tollatur infamia
Sed major patet insania
Amodo ergo Ganea
Abhorreat ille Ganeus
Dominus male Cretecus
Aptius Dictus Tetricus
Phanaticus freneticus
Graphicus sicut Metricus
Autumat.

Hoc genus dictaminis
Non egit examinis

In centiloquio nec centimetro
Honorati Grammatici Mauri.

Decasticon virulentum in galeratum, Licaonta marinum, &c.

Proh dolor, ecce maris lupus &
nequissimus, ursus
Carnificis vitulus Britonumque
bubulcus iniquus

Conflatus, vitulus, vel Oreb vel
Salmana, vel Zeb.

Garduus, & crudelis Asaph qui
Datan reprobatus
Blandus & Achitophel, regis
scelus omne Britanuum
Ecclesias, qui namque Thomas

Confundit ubique

Non sacer iste, Thomas

Sed duro corde, Goleas Quem gestat Malus

sathane caret (obsecro culus Fundens Aspaltum (precor)

hunc versum lege cautum
Asperius nihil est misero

Apostrophia ad Londini cives (citando mulum
asino aureo galerato) in occursum asini, &c.
EXCITAT asinus multum mirabile, visu
Calcibus O vestro cives occurite Asello
Qui regnum regemque regit qui vestra gubernat
Predia, divitias, nummos, gasas, spoliando.

Dixit alludens, immo illudens perodoxam de asino aureo galerato. xxxiii.

Hec vatis ille, de quo loquuntur mille.

FINIS.

HERE AFTER FOLOWETH A LITLE BOKE CALLED

COLYN CLOUT,

COMPILED BY MASTER SKELTON POET LAU

REATE.

Quis consurgat mecum adversus malignantes? aut quis stabit mecum adversus operantes iniquitatem? Nemo domine.

WHAT can it auaile

To dryue forth a 'snayle
Or to make a sayle
Of an herynges taile

To ryme or to rayle

To write or to indyte.
Eyther for delite
Or els for despite
Or bookes to compile
Of diuers maner of style
Vyce to reuile

трука

And sinne to exyle
To teache or to preche
As reason wyll reach
Saye thys and save that
His head is so fat
He wotteth neuer what
Nor wherof he speaketh
He cryeth and he creketh
He pryeth and he peketh
He chydes and he chatters
He prates and he patters
He clytters and he clatters
He medles and he smatters
He gloses and he flatters
Or if he speake plaine
Than he lacketh brayne
He is but a foole
Let him go to scoole
A three footed stoole

That he may downe syt
For he lacketh wit
And if that he hit
The nayle on the head
It standeth in no stede

The deuyil they say is dead

The denill is dead,
It may wel so be
Or els they wold see
Otherwise and flee
From worldly vanitie
And foule covetousnes
And other wretchednes
Fickell falsenesse

Varyablenesse

With vnstablenesse

And if ye stand i dout
Who brought this ryme about
My name is Colyn Clout
I propose to shake out
All my conning bagge
Lyke a clarkely hagge

For though my rime be ragged
Tattered and iagged
Rudely rayne beaten
Rusty and moothe eaten
If ye talke well therewyth
It hath in it some pith
For as farre as I can see

It is wrong with eche degree,
For the temporalty
Accuseth the spiritualty
The spirituall agayn
Doth grudge and complain
Upon temporali men
Thus eche of other blother

The tone against the tother
Alas they make me shoder
For in hoder moder

The churche is put in faulte
The prelates ben so haut
They say and loke so hye
As though they wold flye
Aboue the sterry sky

Lay men say indede
How they take no hede

Their sely shepe to fede happ
But plucke away and pul
The fleces of their wull
Unnethes they leve a locke
Of wull amonge their flocke
And as for theyr connyng
A glumming and a mummyng
And make therof a iape
They gaspe and they gape
Al to haue promocion
There is their whole deuocion
With money, if it will hap
To cath the forked cap
Forsoth they are to lewd
To say so all be shrewd

What trow ye they say more
Of the byshoppes lore
How in matters they be raw
They lumber forth the law b
To herke Jacke and Gyl
Whan they put vp a bil
And judge it as they will
For other mens skill
Expounding out their clauses
And leaue their owne causes
In their principal cure
They make but lytle sure
And meddels very light
In the churches right
But ire and venire

And sol fa, so alamire 1
That the premenire
Is like to be set a fire
In their jurisdictions e
Through temporall afflictions &
Men say they haue prescriptions
Against the spiritual contradictions
Accompting them as fictions {