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Well, Larrup, without more disputing,
Fix'd on this loft to put his fruit in,
And quickly had it thither mov'd,
How far securely, must be prov'd.

From one apartment, so erected
That with the very trifling risk

Of dislocating neck or shoulder,
Which boys ne'er think of in a frisk,

(Nay oft it makes the urchins bolder)
Advent'rous spirits might contrive
To reach the Doctor's apple-hive.
In this room rested four or five

Of these young pilferers, undetected.

Whilst leaden sleep sat on the Doctor's shutters,

(By shutters, I would here imply,

The lids that shut light from the eye)
These daring rogues explored the tiles and gutters
In search of trap or casement-but alack !
They found not e'en a small, a gracious crack.
When one, 'gainst ev'ry disappointment proof,
Propos'd that they should just untile the roof;

At least, sufficient space t'admit
A basket, in which one might sit ;
And thus by rope to handle tied,
Be lower'd down with gentle ride.

This being approv'd of 'twas decided,
That, 'gainst next night should be provided

A basket and a rope;
Which being in due time effected,
A super-cargo was selected,

Who, rais'd by Hope,
Was gradually lower'd through the hole,
From whence he sent up apples by the shoal.
This plan they often put in force,
(Not oft'ner than they could of course,)
And when their pilfering job was ended,
The untiled roof they always mended.
The Doctor frequent visits made,
And soon perceiv'd his apples stray'd :
And oft upon the school-room floor,
Lay many a pear and apple core:
With grief he view'd these sad remains,
Of what, to keep, he took such pains.
Despair now made his heart its prey, -
When, entering the loft one day,
His ears had pretty ample proof,
The rogues were breaking through the roof.


He wisely then concealed himself, —
When lo! down came one little elf ;
But he no sooner reach'd the ground did,
When at him, out the Doctor bounded,
And threaten'd, if he said a sentence,
He'd give him cause for years repentance :
The boy stood mute as pewter pot,
While Larrup in the basket got;
When being seated snug and steady,
He made his pris'ner cry, “all's ready."
The boys above began to pull,-
“Bless me! the basket's very full."
" He's got a swinging lot this time."
“ And I'll be bound he's pick'd the prime."

“ To it again

With might and main,
Another haul will do the job."-

“Yo! ye ho!

Up we go !”
When lo! up popt the doctor's nob!
How they all look'd I can't express,
So leave that part for you to guess ;
But you, perhaps, may think it right
To know the end of Larrup's flight.
Well! when they'd drawn him to the top,
Where he, most likely, wish'd to stop,
The wicked rascals-let the Doctor drop!


CLERK MUGGINS. MR. Muggins was clerk at a parish church in Derbyshire, near which was a well known pleasant spot, called Mount Sion : here Mr. Muggins had several houses, that he was in the habit of letting out ready furnished ; and as it was proverbially a healthy place, was seldom without tenants. However, if it so happened that one of them were unoccupied, he had a most laughable and singular habit of acquainting the congregation of the circumstance, by invariably giving from his desk, in a curious nasal tone, immediately before the Psalms, as follows :- Let us sing to the Praise and Glory of- -O, I had forgot- -Mount Sion is a pleasant place.' It happened that he once let one of these houses to a Lady Pintweezel, whose favourite little dog, Shock, was very poorly. My Lady regularly attended church every Sunday, accompanied by Master Shock, who, although he could neither read, write, nor sing, yet when the congregation began

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An African, having heard a sermon on the subject of Jonah being cast overboard, and swallowed up by a great Fish-in relating it to another of the sable tribe, said, that Jonah swallowed a large Whale; on which the other made answer, that he knew Buck'ra Mans berry much like fish, but he did not know that they eat Whales after that fashion."



to sing he also began to bow, wow, wow, in with them very prettily ; which was considered such a nuisance, that at last one of the neighbours engaged to steal Master Shock; and i'faith he was as good as his word. The following morning, as Mr. Muggins was comfortably seated by the fire, enjoying his breakfast, comes a rap so (knocks) at the door. “Who's there?' says Muggins ; when in comes my Lady Pintweezel, with a face as long my

"Good morning to your ladyship,' said he ; hope you are well.' 'Oh! oh! Mr. Muggins.' (crying.)God bless my soul, my Lady, why what is the matter ? is the house on fire, or has it been broken open.' 'Oh! Mr. Muggins,' (still crying) worse than that, I have lost my dear little dog Shock.'—(Upon my soul, I am very glad of it.) (Aside.) Sad thing indeed, my lady.' "Well, Muggins, don't you think you can find him for me ? Lauk ! my Lady, I can't find your Shock.' 'Ah! but Muggins, if you will but contrive to give it out at church, as you do your houses, I'll give you a couple of guineas.' 'Oh! to be sure I will, my Lady (that alters the case.). Poor little fellow, I hope he has got into good hands : but what shall I say, my Lady?' 'Oh! oh! give me a pen and ink, and I'll write it all down for you. Oh ! dear, oh ! let me see, (wiping her eyes.) • Lost, Lady Pintweezel's little dog Shock, with a black spot on a white tail, and a black body and a white back, with long ears, little mouth, and sore eyes. There, there it is, oh, oh! oh ! Very well, my Lady, I'll certainly give it out.' 'On the following Sunday morning early, Muggins took an opportunity of popping the description into his reading desk before church time: shortly afterwards, the parson, who was a humorous sort of a blade, passing down the aisle spied this paper curiously folded :"Hey, what have we here,' said he upon opening it ; surely Mr. Clerk can't mean to give this out in church ; however, if he does, I'll have a joke with him;' so taking out his pen-knife, he scratched out the S for sore eyes, and put in an F, which made it read fore (four) eyes, and then carefully replaced it as before. Soon after the service began and went regularly on, until the Psalms, which Muggins gave out: 'Let us sing to the praise and glory of-Oh! ah? I had forgot ; so recollecting himself, he proceeded— A hem-Lost, or strayed, stolen or mislaid, Lady Pintweezel's little dog Shock, with a black spot on a white tail, and a black body, and a white back, with long ears, little mouth, and fofo_four ! four! four !-yes it is, four eyes, upon my soul; but Muggins, suspecting something, turning round and looking up, said, 'Mr. Parson, Mr. Parson.' 'Well, Muggins,' said the parson, looking down upon him, "Well Muggins, what's the matter _ I say, Mr. Parson, this is one of your tricks,

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