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hastily into her hand. The action recalled her wandering
She blushed :—it was the honest blush of pride at the meanness of the gift. She curt’sied; staggered towards the door ; opened it ; closed it ; raised her hand to her forehead and burst into tears.
SOLILOQUY OF THE KING IN HAMLET.
O my offence is rank, it smells to Heav'n!
A SERMON ON MALT. MR. Dodd was a minister who lived many years ago a few miles from Cambridge ; and having several times been preaching against drunkenness, some of the Cambridge scholars (conscience, which is sharper than a thousand witnesses, being their monitor) were very much offended, and thought he made re. flections on them. Some little time after, Mr. Dodd was walking towards Cambridge, and met some of the gownsmen, who, as soon as they saw him at a distance, resolved to make some ridicule of him. As soon as he came up, they accosted him with “ Your servant, sir !" He replied, “ Your servant, gentlemen.” They asked him if he had not been preaching very much against drunkenness of late ? He answered in the affirmative. They then told him they had a favour to beg of him, and it was that he would preach a sermon to them there, from a text they should choose. He argued that it was an imposition, for a man ought to have some consideration before preaching. They said they would not put up with a denial, and insisted upon his preaching immediately in a hollow tree which stood by the road side) from the word MALT. He then began, “ Beloved, let me crave your attention. I am a little mancome at a short notice—to preach a short sermon—from a short text-to a thin congregation—in an unworthy pulpit. Beloved, my text is Malt. I cannot divide it into sentences, there being none; nor into words, there being but one ; I must therefore, of necessity, divide it into letters, which I find in my text to be these four-M.A.L.T.
M, is Moral.
“ The Moral, is to teach you rustics good manners ; therefore M, my Masters; A, All of you ; L, Leave off ; T, Tippling.
“ The Allegorical is, when one thing is spoken of, and another meant. The thing spoken of is Malt; The thing meant is the spirit of Malt; which you rustics make, M, your Meat ; A, your Apparel ; L, your Liberty ; and T, your Trust.
" The Literal is, according to the letters ; M, Much ; A, Ale ; L, Little: T, Trust.
“ The Theological is according to the effects it works in-some, M, Murder ; in others, A, Adultery ; in all, L, Looseness of life ; and, in many, T, Treachery.
I shall conclude the subject, First, by way of Exhortation.
M, My Masters ; A, All of you ; L, Listen ; T, To my Text. Second, by way of Caution. M, My Masters ; A, All of you ; L, Look for ; T, the Truth. Third, by way of Communicating the Truth, which is this : A Drunkard is the annoyance of modesty ; the spoil of civility ; the destruction of reason ; the robber's agent ; the alehouse's benefactor ; his wife's sorrow; his children's trouble ; his own shame ; his neighbour's scoff ; a walking swill-bowl ; the picture of a beast ; the monster of a man !"
THE FLIGHT OF XERXES.
I saw him on the battle-eve,
When like a king he bore him,-
And prouder chiefs before him :
No daunting thoughts came o'er him;
IIe look'd on ocean,-its broad breast
Was cover'd with his fieet;
His banner'd millions meet;
The thunder of their feet!
I saw him next alone :-nor camp,
Nor chief, his steps attended ;
With war-cries proudly blended,
He, who with Heaven contended,
He stood :-fleet, army, treasure,-gone,
Alone, and in despair!
For they were monarchs there;
And Xerxes, in a single bark,
Must all their fury dare :
PLEASURES OF A PLAYER
I USED vainly to imagine that the business of an Actor was all play, but I have found that no trade, no profession upon earth, is so laborious to mind and body—laborious too, at times and seasons when other people are partaking of the amusements and enjoyments of social and domestic life. At ten o'clock I go to rehearsal-study and arrange all the nonsense which the Manager chooses to accept from the wretched play-writers—(who are all either in gaol, or expecting to be sent every day of their miserable lives) - liable to be fined forty pounds for refusing to play a part which I know does not suit me, and in which no human being, except the author, can see the slightest merit ; there I remain the whole morning, groping about behind the scenes, or listening in the green-room to calumnies and dirty stories, till perhaps three; I then mount to the wardrobe, where in council with the tailor and the barber, I stay and discuss with perfect gravity the relative merits of different coats, waistcoats, and wigs, with a view to ascertain which combination of grotesque habits will best answer the purpose, and produce the greatest portion of laughter in the one shilling gallery. On reaching the stage-door I find it pouring with rain—having come out with thin shoes, and without an umbrella, I paddle up Drury Lane to my lodgings, where my wife has prepared every thing to make me comfortable ; and at five o'clock I sit down to my dinner, fire blazing, dishes smoking, and all extremely nice and snug. At a little after six, just as I am getting warm, and feel very happy, and rather heavy to sleep, I am warned by dear Mary that it is time to go.' Up I get, squeeze on my great coat, take my umbrella, find the streets ankle deep in mud, mixed with more mizzling rain, too small and too light to be warded off-slip along the worst streets in London back to the play-house, and in consequence of quitting my warm fire side, contract a violent tooth-ache to which I am very subject.
The pain in my face increases during the time I am dressing --the barber arrives to do up my own hair' into a droll shape, it having been decided that it will produce a more ridiculous effect than a wig—the call-boy comes to hurry me, and I pro
ceed to smear my chin and forehead with whitening--make crow's feet and eye-brows with a bit of burnt cork, and rub the end of my nose with a hare's foot covered with red ochre. During this operation 'a gentleman wishes to see me ;' he is admitted, and brings the agreeable intelligence that a friend who has given me his acceptance for seventy pounds has dishonoured the Bill, which is returned to me, and must be settled by ten o'clock the following morning. At this juncture, a pretty little draggletailed maid servant, whom I keep, arrives to ask for the key of a cupboard, which I have brought away by mistake, to get something for my wife-I give the key, and hear her romping with the half drunken Manager in the dark passage ;-irritated, but too much pressed for time to be angry, I squeeze on the shoes which I thought would be very effective in my haste I run one of the buckles under the nail of my finger ; and when the shoes are on, find the corn on the little toe of my left foot so pinched that nothing but the impossibility of getting any others would induce me to wear tliem—while stamping on the floor, in hopes of making matters easier, I perceive the coat and waistcoat which I have selected to wear, giving the most unequivocal proof of dampness, by smoking furiously as they haug airing on the back of a chair before the fire.
Besides this, it should be observed, that I dress in the same room with a man whose aversion I am, and whose name is ipecacuanha to me; he is pompous, and does tragedy-has the best place in the room, and all the fire to himself-feeds the newspa. per critics, who always praise him ; and one of them, who invariably abuses me, is his constant companion when we are dressing.
At length, however, I get to the green-room-drink half a glass of muddy water from the tumbler, out of which every Lady and Gentleman of the company has drunk before, and will after me; and being ultimately summoned to the stage, I find the music sounding too well—the house empty of people, and full of gasmy tooth aching as if it would split my head, I feel the damp waistcoat sticking to my back-my eyes being hot, and my nose cold—the shoe on my corny foot having shrunk with the heat of the foot, cutting and pinching me more dreadfully than the parchment boot of the Holy Inquisition could do. Here I have to act a scene with a cheap actor from the country ; a regular stick, who knows nothing of the point, and very little of the part; and thus arrive at the period where I have to sing a comic song, with speaking and pattering imitations of sundry men and other animals, between the verses ; and during the protracted symphony to this, I keep my tongue to my tooth, in order to lull the pain, and thinking of nothing but the protested Bill for seventy