"Wretch!" he cried, when she threatened to leave him, and left,

"How could you deceive me, as you have deceft?"

And she answered, "I promised to cleave, and I've cleft." Phabe Cary (?) [1824-1871]

THE TWINS

IN form and feature, face and limb,
I grew so like my brother,
That folks got taking me for him,
And each for one another.
It puzzled all our kith and kin,
It reached a fearful pitch;
For one of us was born a twin,
Yet not a soul knew which.

One day, to make the matter worse,
Before our names were fixed,
As we were being washed by nurse,
We got completely mixed;

And thus, you see, by fate's decree,
Or rather nurse's whim,

My brother John got christened me,
And I got christened him.

This fatal likeness even dogged
My footsteps when at school,
And I was always getting flogged,
For John turned out a fool.
I put this question, fruitlessly,
To every one I knew,

"What would you do, if you were me,

To prove that you were you?”

Our close resemblance turned the tide
Of my domestic life,

For somehow, my intended bride

Became my brother's wife.

1

In fact, year after year the same

Absurd mistakes went on,

And when I died, the neighbors came
And buried brother John.

Henry Sambrooke Leigh (1837-1883]

A THRENODY

The Ahkoond of Swat is dead-London Papers

WHAT, what, what,

What's the news from Swat?

Sad news,

Bad news,

Comes by the cable led

Through the Indian Ocean's bed,"
Through the Persian Gulf, the Red
Sea and the Med-'

Iterranean--he's dead;

The Ahkoond is dead!

For the Ahkoond I mourn,

Who wouldn't? :

He strove to disregard the message stern,

But he Ahkoodn't.

Dead, dead, dead;

(Sorrow, Swats!)

Swats wha hae wi' Ahkoond bled,

Swats whom he hath often led

Onward to a gory bed,

Or to victory,

As the case might be,

Sorrow, Swats!

Tears shed,

Shed tears like water.

Your great Ahkoond is dead!

That Swats the matter!

Mourn, city of Swat!

Your great Ahkoond is not,

But lain 'mid worms to rot.

His mortal part alone, his soul was caught

(Because he was a good Ahkoond)
Up to the bosom of Mahound.
Though earthy walls his frame surround
(Forever hallowed be the ground!)
And sceptics mock the lowly mound
And say "He's now of no Ahkoond!"

His soul is in the skies,

The azure skies that bend above his loved

Let Swat bury the great Ahkoond

With a noise of mourning and of lamentation! Let Swat bury the great Ahkoond

With the noise of the mourning

Of the Swattish nation!

Fallen is at length

Its tower of strength,

Its sun is dimmed ere it had nooned;

Dead lies the great Ahkoond,

The great Ahkoond of Swat

Is not!

George Thomas Lanigan (1845-1886]

THE FASTIDIOUS SERPENT

THERE was a snake that dwelt in Skye,
Over the misty sea, oh;

He lived upon nothing but gooseberry-pię
For breakfast, dinner, and tea, oh.

Now gooseberry-pie-as is very well known-
Over the misty sea, oh,

Is not to be found under every stone,

Nor yet upon every tree, oh.

And being so ill to please with his meat,
Over the misty sea, oh,

The snake had sometimes nothing to eat,

And an angry snake was he, oh.

Then he'd flick his tongue and his head he'd shake,

Over the misty sea, oh,

Crying, "Gooseberry-pie! For goodness' sake

Some gooseberry-pie for me, oh!”

And if gooseberry-pie was not to be had,'

Over the misty sea, oh,

He'd twine and twist like an eel gone mad,
Or a worm just stung by a bee, oh.

But though he might shout and wriggle about,
Over the misty sea, oh,

The snake had often to go without

His breakfast, dinner, and tea, oh.

Henry Johnstone [1844

MY RECOLLECTEST THOUGHTS

My recollectest thoughts are those
Which I remember yet;

And bearing on, as you'd suppose,
The things I don't forget.

But my resemblest thoughts are less
Alike than they should be;

A state of things, as you'll confess,
You very seldom see.

And yet the mos est thought I love
Is what no one believes-

That I'm the sole survivor of

The famous Forty Thieves!

Charles Edward Carryl [1841

MR. FINNEY'S TURNIP

MR. FINNEY had a turnip

And it grew behind the barn;

And it grew and it grew,

And that turnip did no harm.

There it grew and it grew

Till it could grow no longer;
Then his daughter Lizzie picked it
And put it in the cellar.

There it lay and it lay

Till it began to rot;

And his daughter Susie took it

And put it in the pot.

And they boiled it and boiled it
As long as they were able;
And then his daughters took it
And put it on the table.

Mr. Finney and his wife

They sat them down to sup;

And they ate and they ate

And they ate that turnip up.

Unknown

THE SIEGE OF BELGRADE

AN Austrian army, awfully arrayed,
Boldly by battery besieged Belgrade;
Cossack commanders cannonading come,
Dealing destruction's devastating doom.
Every endeavor engineers essay

For fame, for fortune,-fighting furious fray:
Generals 'gainst generals grapple-gracious God

How honors Heaven heroic hardihood!

Infuriate, indiscriminate in ill,

Kindred kill kinsmen-kinsmen kindred kill!

Labor low levels loftiest, longest lines;

Men march 'mid mounds, 'mid moles, 'mid murderous mines.

Now noisy, noxious numbers notice naught

Of outward obstacles opposing ought:

Poor patriots, partly purchased, partly pressed,
Quite quailing, quaking, quickly quarter quest.