1 JUST NONSENSE No sun-no moon! No morn-no noon No dawn-no dusk NO! -no proper time of day— No sky-no earthly view No distance looking blue No road-no street-no "t'other side the way" No end to any Row No indications where the Crescents go No top to any steeple No recognitions of familiar people-- No courtesies for showing 'em No knowing 'em! No travelling at all-no locomotion, No inkling of the way-no notion"No go"-by land or ocean No mail-no post No news from any foreign coast No park-no ring-no afternoon gentility No company-no nobility No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease, No comfortable feel in any member→→→ No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees, Thomas Hood (1799-1845] TO MINERVA FROM THE GREEK My temples throb, my pulses boil, I'm sick of Song, and Ode, and Ballad→ So, Thyrsis, take the Midnight Oil, 1 And pour it on a lobster salad. My brain is dull, my sight is foul, Thomas Hood (1799-1845] THE ALPHABET A is an Angel of blushing eighteen; B is the Ball where the Angel was seen; C is the Chaperon, who cheated at cards; E is the Eye, killing slowly but surely; F is the Fan whence it peeped so demurely; G is the Glove of superlative kid; H is the Hand which it spitefully hid; I is the Ice which the fair one demanded; Jis the Juvenile that dainty who handed; L is the Lace which composed the chief part; V is the Voice which his niece replied "No" in; X is the exit, not rigidly straight; Y is the Yawning fit caused by the Ball; Z stands for Zero, or nothing at all. › Charles Stuart Calverley [1831-1884] A TRAGIC STORY THERE lived a sage in days of yore, He mused upon this curious case, And swore he'd change the pigtail's place, Not dangling there behind him. Says he, "The mystery I've found,- Then round and round, and out and in, And right, and left, and round about, And though his efforts never slack, The pigtail hangs behind him. William Makepeace Thackeray [1811-1863] THE JUMBLIES THEY went to sea in a sieve, they did; In spite of all their friends could say, In a sieve they went to sea. And when the sieve turned round and round, But we don't care a button; we don't care a fig: Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live: They sailed away in a sieve, they did, The water it soon came in, it did; The water it soon came in: So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet And they fastened it down with a pin. And all night long they sailed away; They whistled and warbled a moony song In the shade of the mountains brown.” They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,- And they bought an owl, and a useful cart, And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws, And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree, And no end of Stilton cheese: And in twenty years they all came back,— In twenty years or more; And every one said, "How tall they've grown! For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone, And they drank their health, and gave them a feast And every one said, "If we only live, We, too, will go to sea in a sieve, To the hills of the Chankly Bore." Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live: Their heads are green, and their hands are blue; And they went to sea in a sieve. Edward Lear [1812-1888] THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT THE Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea They took some honey, and plenty of money And sang to a small guitar, "O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love, You are, You are! What a beautiful Pussy you are!" Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl, Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried: They sailed away, for a year and a day, |