or a hovel, the cloud is sure to disperse, and a shower of blessings to attend the dispersion; so that I have seemed more firmly established in my situation than ever I was before.

Once more. As the apostle says, All things are for the elects' sake, I really believe it has pleased God to raise me up and send me forth, not only into the ministry, that I might tell them that fear God what he hath done for my soul; but it hath pleased him to keep me depending on his providence, from hand to mouth, throughout the whole course of my pilgrimage, that I might publish to the church at large not a recital of what Providence has done for others, but, as a living witness of the facts, what he has done for me to encourage the faith of others. And God has so done it that infidelity itself cannot give this my testimony the lie; for these things were not done in a corner. The persons whom God hath raised

up and made use of to assist me in times of need, being in number above five hundred brethren, are all witnesses of these facts, for of these "the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep." Nor have I a single doubt but it is the will of God that I should publish these things. Of this I have had a most glaring proof but this week; for, after I had begun this narrative, and wrote about two thirds of it, I got weary of it, and cold to it, and laid it aside for two or three months, and seemed to have no inclination to meddle with it any more. But, at the beginning

of last week, I had several debts brought to my mind, and set continually before me, and being at the same time under my often infirmity, the gout in the pocket (I call it the gout; for, when I have got a little money, I am for going here and there into the country to visit the brethren, and see how they do; but, when my infirmity is upon me, I am confined to my work in town); seeing several debts set before my eyes, and being at the same time afflicted with this disorder, God's hand being quite shut up ever since I returned from Lewes, I cast matters over in my mind, and said, What shall I do? The answer was, Sit down and finish your Bank of Faith, and God will bless the sale of it, and that will answer present demands. And, although every circumstance here related was entirely gone both from my mind and memory, having laid it so long aside, and having no heart to meddle with it again, yet, when I came to a determination to shut myself up in town all day long to write, and went to bed with this determination, I no sooner awoke in the morning, but almost every circumstance that is related in these fifty or sixty latter pages of the work were all brought to my mind, and set in order before me, so that I had nothing to do but to sit down and write them off hand; and no sooner had I begun but I found my soul remarkably happy, and much delighted in the work; and I believe the whole of this was done by that sweet Remembrancer who is to bring all things to our remembrance whatsoever Jesus Christ

has spoken unto us, whether by chastisements or by comforts, by frowns or by smiles, in providence or in grace.

Moreover, when I have come to some particulars, which I have thought would be disclosing all my secret conflicts to some that hate me, and be an entertainment to those who feed upon ashes, and little better than casting pearls before swine, and rather hurt the consequence of the Doctor than otherwise, a resolution to seek God's honour and his people's good before my own, has been attended with sensible sensations of heavenly comfort, insomuch that my mouth has been often filled with laughter while I have been writing them. I think I shall tire my dear friend with this long scrawl; but, as the subject is divine goodness to miserable sinners, it will allow of no apology, but must be admired by all that seek out God's works, and have pleasure therein.

LETTER XII.

TO THE SPARROW ALONE UPON THE
HOUSE TOP.

Dearly beloved in the Lord,

I RECEIVED yours, and was not at all alarmed at the contents. Spiritual desertions are some of the strange things that happen to us. Strange they appear until we come to know that the same are accomplished in all the brethren more or less. It is one way by which God tries the soundness and the sincerity of our hearts. All the vanities of this world, and the glories of it, are presented to our view when the Lord is withdrawn; but, if faith and love be genuine, the soul feels itself crucified to all these; nothing can repair the loss; no vanity can fill the vacancy; no rival can meet with a cordial reception. The new born soul, in such circumstances, is thus described by the prophet: "For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God." This soul is described as being called of God, and compared to a woman forsaken of her husband, and a wife of youth, or a young woman whose love was strong: she is grieved in spirit because he re

fused to dwell with her. This is the description the Lord gives of a young convert under spiritual desertions. But shall the Lord turn away, and not return? No: "I will never leave thee, I will never forsake thee." It is by his going and coming that we increase in the knowledge of him: his absence makes us mourn and fast, his presence is our joy and banquet. But I must go on with my subject.

Some little time ago I was invited to preach at a distance from London, the minister of the place being sick. It was some time before I could raise the wind, or furnish the pocket, for this expedition. However, at last it came in, though I forget the quarter it came from; and with about ten pounds I set off, and stayed over two sabbath days. Just before my departure a gentleman gave me six guineas, another ten, and two others gave me five guineas each. Another pressed me hard with a further present, which I refused, being full and abounding. So true is the word of God-Where God uses a servant of his to sow spiritual things bountifully, carnal things are as bountifully reaped; and, in both senses, they that sow sparingly reap sparingly. "The liberal deviseth liberal things, and by liberal things shall he stand." That text hath often been a support and a comfort to me; and I can set to my seal that God is true.

But I come now to a disaster which lately befel me. My young horse fell sick about two months ago, and so he continues to be, with little likeli