this no bad opportunity for a great ftroke in the Omnium, I expected to hear fomething of all the boufes in Europe. Juft as I was about to apply my unfair ear to the wainfcot, the waiter came to inquire whether I would please to fup with the gentlemen in the adjoining room; and, while I had fcarcely breath to express my hope of that honour, he told me that they were all riders from Manchester, going to France for orders! I am, Sir, yours,

AUDITOR TANTUM!

A PLAN FOR PAYING OFF THE NATIONAL

SIR,

DEBT.

[From the Morning Chronicle.]

AMONG the many great objects of an internal nature, to which the return of peace will naturally call the attention of Government, none ftands more prominent than the liquidation of the national debt. This can only be done by raifing a large fum within the year; and for this purpofe, I think, Sir, I have hit upon a tax, the moft productive and the least burdenfome poffible, that is to fay, a maximum in produce, and a minimum in burden. I mean a Tax on Lying. I am warranted, by the late returns to Parliament, in ftating the fubjects of the British empire, at 14,329,611; now, averaging them one with another, men, women, and children, at no more than two lies a-day each (an eflimate certainly far under the mark), and rating each lie at only one farthing, the produce will be no lefs than 10,896,4731. 195. 94d. per annum, a fum nearly double the amount of the Income Tax. This I prove by the following calculation: 14,329,611 perfons, nien, women, and children, at two lies per day each, for 365 days, produced 10,460,615,030 lies, which at one farthing per lie, amounts to the above fum of 10,896,4737. 19s. 9d.

Thofe

1

Those who are converfant in finance will immediately fee that I know what I am about, and have carefully avoided making the tax amount to a prohibition; and fure I am that no individual liar will give. up fuch a favourite luxury for the trifling fum of, one with another, about 15s. a year. It will doubtless ftrike many difcerning perfons, that there is a great variety in the nature and extent of lies; as white lies, black lies, lies direct and indirect, fibs, bouncers, &c. &c. and they will justly argue, on the bafis of equality in taxation, that these feveral fpecies of lies ought to be defined and rated accordingly: this has not efcaped me, and when I am fuperintendant general of the tax on lying, I fhall form tables of lies, properly divideđ and fubdivided into genera and Species, with the rates fet against them. I also mean to take into confideration the propriety of making an allowance by way of drawback to particular perfons, fuch as minifters of. ftate, travellers, retail traders, and fome others; or, to fave the trouble of laborious calculations, fuch per fons may compound by paying a certain annual fum. Thus, Sir, have I pointed out and abfolutely calculated a tax every way fuited to the exigencies of the nation, and, I hope, one per cent, on the produce will not be thought too much as a reward for my patriotifm and ingenuity. PETER PROJECT.

ANTICIPATION.

SPEECH AT THE SHAKSPEARE TAVERN, TO BE
DELIVERED THIS DAY.

TH

[From the True Briton.]

HE fpeech, my good friends, for this joyful occafion,,
Which I had prepar'd, was a thundering oration;-

Of war it condemn'd the unjuft profecution,

And of treasure and blood the unbounded profufion;

It

:

It prov'd nought was meant by the negotiation,
Except to throw duft in the eyes of the nation:-
Spoke of minifters' crimes, and impeachments and axes,
Of dearnefs of corn, and of jack-boots and taxes-
peace has fwept all my beft periods away,

And plenty has left me but little to say:

Still cenfure's my thenie, condemnation's my game,
Peace, war, right or wrong, I'm determined to blame;
In fhort, not to tire you with preface too long,
Until I am minifter-all must be wrong.

Oh! had I been ruler, you then would have feen,
What it actually is that the Rights of Man mean;
The Jacobin Code, which fo few understand,
And equality's laws, had pervaded the land,

But with fome few exceptions-you know what I mean-
You guefs who'd been Kg when my A-d was Queen.
He Te had been plac'd at the head of the church,
Mr. Ar Or been left in the lurch,

At Fort George had new laws upon treafon been made,
By fome friends who were lately brought up to the trade;
To the Bench had bold traitors in triumph been led,
And judges, in chains, had been tried in their ftead:
My plan was to raise a most terrible storm,
And to dignify all by the watch word Reform-
All things into glorious confufion to throw,
For order, you know, out of chaos may grow.
But thefe pleafing thoughts I'll no further pursue;
To-day all I with is to give you your cue—

The war you

have oft ftyl'd a terrible curfe,

But the peace you muft fwear is a thoufand times worfe
You must call it difgrace, and difhonour, and fhame,

And of genuine peace not deferving the name;

You must fay it is hollow, unjuft, infincere,

And prove that it cannot continue a year;

And if your exertion could undo the treaty,

With what rapture, my friends, here again I would meet ye!
For peace will deftroy all my favourite plans,
And will leave me, forgotten, to die at St.

October 10.

PATRIOTIC

1

'T

PATRIOTIC ORATION.

DELIVERED ON SATURDAY, OCT. 10, 1801.

[From the True Briton.]

IS now, my good friends, twenty-one years ago, Since for Weftminster I became member, you know, A long ftruggle I made, and at laft I got in,

But who were my voters I car'd not a pin.

To oppofe, right or wrong, those in pow'r, was my plan;
This for you was enough, and you made me your man.
'T was flattering to me to be mark'd by your choice,
But more flatt'ring effects were achiev'd by my voice;
For, united with other great men, 't was my pride
From Britain her colonies foou to divide.

In the late war with France I fill took the fame part,
For I own oppofition is dear to my heart;

Since for many long years I have found it in vain
To offer myfelf for employment again.

The refult of th' American war is most clear-
It confirm'd a grand principle we all revere-

It confirm'd a great truth, that, though courtiers will probe,
Revolution must triumph all over the globe.

You have feen many faults in my conduct, I fear,
But know in the cause of the mob I'm fincere;
Wherever they rife, whate'er mischiefs they reach,
They hall have my affistance, at leaft in a Speech.
And hence I pronounc'd it a very bad thing,
To fay to all Frenchmen "You must choose a King."
But if faid or not faid, 't is no matter, d'ye fee,
For the cry prov'd a very good watch-word for me.
We had no right to check the republican axe,
Or, without their coufent, the Americans tax.
Such a war to oppofe will be always my plan-
I oppos'd it indeed long" before it began;"
And you hence may infer, that I fully intend
To oppofe it again, though 't is now at an end.
In this city I in fanguine enough then to hope,
That none can be found who would doom me a rope.
This war, we perceive, is at laft then to ceafe,
And I look with the eyes of a friend upon peace;

In

In hopes of new contefts it bears not the germs,
I will not too rigidly canvas the terms.

There are two ways indeed that the point may be weigh'd, The terms of the peace, and the time when 't was made. The terms are of little importance, I think,

And, therefore, that part of the queftion I'll blink.
An ifland or two in the Eaft or the Weft

In themselves are, perhaps, no great matter at beft,
But are things of much value, indeed, I maintain,
Compar'd with a year's or a mouth's new campaign.
I wifh, as to time, I as little could fay,

But I fomething muft blame, or I'm out of my way;
Yet do not fuppofe I think peace comes too soon;
No, come when it will, 't is a very great boon:
But though I rejoice that all warfare is o'er,
We could peace, I'm perfuaded, have had long before;
And I tík, with fome confidence, whether or no
We might not have had it full two years ago,
And if France was not then well inclin'd to concede
The very fame terms on which now we've agreed ?

You, my friends, then forefaw with difcerument most threwd,

}

The refult of the meafures which then were purfu'd;
You petition'd for peace, but your prayers were not heard
For a change in the miniftry-none of them stirr d.-
Atiength, as we know, a few members went out;
But as to a change, I am fill in a doubt,
Of those who fucceeded I did not think high,
To you, my good friends, I need hardly fay why,
Since I and my party once more were thru by.
Some complain that we gain not our object in war,
But that was an object my foul muft abhor.
For what was that obje&, I beg leave to fay,
But the hope of restoring monarchical way
By the terms of the peace, both in fpirit and letter,
We give up this hope, and I like it the better.

We have loft much, my friends, but had reafon to fear
The lofs of much more, hid peace ftay'a till next year;
But abroad now our feelings no longer need roam,
And at leaft we may try to do fomething at home.
Then rejoice that war 's gone, that great cook for the worms,
Give welcome to peace, and ne'er canvafs the terms."

ANOTHER