devil, if, ten to one, you are not able to maul him. As to female paffengers, you have nothing to dread; keep firm, and be fure keep the wall; the lady will moft likely have her drapery and ftockings fplashed; look her full in the face, which will naturally create confufion on her part, and join in a loud laugh, which will afford an infinite fund of merriment to the party, until a fresh adventure presents itself. Be fure keep the step militaire, which will give you the air of officers in coloured clothes, and at the end of your walk (1 do not mean that you fhould on any account pafs the end of Bond Street or the Haymarket), the whole of the party may wheel fharp round one of the party as the pivot. If there are any ladies of character near, let your converfation be as loud and indecent as poffible, alluding, in the broadeft manner, to the fictitious gallantries and debaucheries of the last night. Should you obferve at a distance any gentleman that you take not to be one of yourfelves, inftantly commence a conversation about him, talk loud enough to be heard, and endeavour to laugh him too out of countenance. You may peep into every carriage as you pass, and wink at the ladies; but take care that there is no gentleman with them, elfe you run the rifk of getting your head broke. You may take off your hat now and then to a carriage, and, fhould the lady not falute you, you may fay the is always fhy when the obferves you in company: the frail fifterhood being your own counterparts, you may take every liberty with them, as they generally meet you more than half way. You may feparate about five o'clock, and go to dinner, every man where he is most welcome; and if you fhould want an invitation, or your purfe fail you, dine with Duke Humphrey in the Park.

Now that a part of the troops are arrived from Egypt, you may very fairly affume the air of the officers who have been on that expedition: for inftance,

: you

you may leave your face unwashed, which will give you the air of the climate alluded to; a patch over one of your eyes will warrant the idea of your having the Egyptian blindness; but I would caution you to beware of the unhallowed touch of bailiffs, and the rencontre of your tradefpeople, who may demand their debts rather cavalierly. Always wear fpurs, which will make you appear like a field-officer; and if ever you chance to hire a hack, let it be a grey one; the hairs will tick in your skirts until your coat is threadbare, and this, with a formidable pair of prickers, will give you every appearance of keeping a ftud, and fhould they flick in the ladies drapery, it will give you a fair opportunity of apologizing; and it has often happened that as flight an introduction has procured a footing in the heart of the wounded fair. Should the female you come in contact with be one of the free and eafy, the will, perhaps, imperiously demand reparation of the injary; and, in order to come off with a good grace on fuch occafions, have an elegant purfe full of counters: offer to make her amends; the, of courfe, will decline it (expecting to make more of you), give you her addrefs, and you will have a frolic for nothing; but on quitting her, affure her that you will fend her a draft on your banker, who, perhaps, is as difficult to be found as the man in the moon. Mind these hints from your friend

Fop's Alley.

BEAU NASH.

THE LITTLE GREEN MAN.

A GERMAN STORY.

YE E warriors fo bold, and ye ladies fo gay,

At the Pump-room, at Tyn's, at K-g's, or the play,

Oh never, ob never be seen;

For the Little Green Man will furely be there,
The Little Green Man, who delight th to ftare
So fierce, through his goggles of green.

The Little Green Man, in the dead of the night,
Fell in love with a maiden, all gaily bedight

In fcarlet, in white, and in blue:

"Come, Lady, fweet Lady, with me come away;
Fine clothes you fhall have, we will play a fine play;
Come home, I am dying for you!"

"Oh partner! oh partner! and doft thou not hear,
How the Little Green Man whispers low in mine ear
To follow him home from the ball?"
"He is joking, he's joking-I tell you he is,
'Tis only defign'd as an innocent quiz,
'Tis nothing, 't is nothing at all.”

you

mine

;

"I love you, I doat on your face fo divine,
I muft and will have you, and force makes
Here's a letter will tell you the reft."
"Oh partner! oh partner! and doft thou not fee
How the Little Green Man, fo audaciously free,
Crams a love-letter into my breaft!"

"My partner! my partner! oh now hold me faft!
He pulls me, he hurts me, he'll have me at last---
Good God! how he tumbles my gown!"
Then her partner arofe, and in fury he ran
To the bench where was feated the Little Green Man,
And knock'd him immediately down.

And with Gw

and with Gme,

And with ten or twelve more,

On the fiend he courageoufly fell;

And thrice they kick him around and around,
While the Little Green Man gave a horrible found,
'Twixt a groan, and a grunt, and a yell!

They hustled him on, with heroic delight,
Now backward, now forward, to left or to right,
While he ftrove and he struggled in vain;
And his goggles, they fay, were crack'd in the fray,
And his garments were rented in twain.

And the Little Green Man made a halt at the door,
And the Little Green Man moft terribly swore
Revenge and deftruction to all.

That he'd ravifh the maiden, with main and with might,
And challenge the heroes who kick'd him, to fight
With fword, and with spear, and with ball,

Then

Then, ye warriors fo bold, and ye ladies fo gay,
At the Pump-room, at T--n's, at K-g's, or the play,

Oh never, oh never be feen!

For the Little Green Man will furely be there,
The Little Green Man who delighteth to ftare
So fierce, through his goggles of green!

MAT- w GRY L——IS.

I

SEA-COAL AND SENSIBILITY.
[From the Morning Chronicle.]

MR. EDITOR,

HAVE a circumftance to impart of great importance to the fair fex, and which I hope you will admit as foon as poflible, as the approach of the winter theatrical feafon renders it particularly urgent. I prefume I need not inform you how much we have of late years been indebted to the advice and fuggeftions of learned foreigners, who have either refided among us, or taken a hafty trip over any part of our island. In no inftance have they contributed more to open our eyes than in what regards our politics and our fea-coal fires. Their fervices in the political arrangements I fhall leave to others to expatiate upon. My prefent bufinefs is with our fuel, which, from the reafonings of a late traveller, has produced phyfical and moral effects of a very extraordinary nature. Had he, however, confined himfelf entirely to phyfical and moral effects, I fhould not have thought it neceffary to make his remark the fubject of newspaper communication. Had he been content to prove that Newcastle is the fource of difeafe and of vice, and that people are healthy or difeafed, good or bad, in proportion to the number of chaldrons confumed in their families, it would have been too ferious a fubject, and too mighty a concern, for my defultory pen. But when he carries

his theory fo far as to connect fenfibility with fea-coal, and eftimate our feelings by Pool meafure, it is time to look about us. But take the matter in his own words.

Being at the reprefentation of Romeo and Juliet, when Mrs. Eften played for the first time the part of Juliet, he fays:

66

Though my attention was fully taken up with the play and the actress, it was not fo much fo as to prevent me cafting my eyes about me.. What a difparity between the melancholy filence which reigned here, and the agitation of fympathetic feelings which appear in our theatres! My furprife at difcovering fo few emotions of concern in the countenances of the fpectators, was withheld by obferving a young perfon of a very ftriking figure, who appeared to me to be the more amiable, as the paid great attention to what was paffing on the ftage. This lovely creature feemed as infenfible as the reft, and I began to tax her in my mind with want of feeling, when all of a fudden the fell breathlefs into the arms of a young gentleman who fat next her. No doubt fhe had ftifled the agitation of her breaft till nature was overpowered with the efforts fhe made to refrain from tears. Be affured, my friend, that, had this sweet girl never inspired the fumes of fea-coal, her tears would have flowed fooner than they did, and the oppreffion of her breaft would not have been fo violent: her feelings might not have been more real, but they would have been more tender and expreffive."

Your opinion, Mr. Editor, of this difcovery muft, I am fure, coincide with my own, that it is of too great importance to be confined to a work which may perhaps fall into very few hands. This accounts for all that apparent indifference and infenfibility which we obferve among a people notorioufly known to be humane. It is not the want of genius in a tragic