objects of thought. And fomething of the fame kind was long before his time taught by Des Cartes and Malebranche, and will admirably apply to the immateriality of horns, the existence, fize, and number of which muft, upon this principle, depend entirely on the mind. Credo quod habes, et habes. Of late, indeed, it has been fuppofed that they are more fubftantial and even cumbersome; for an ingenious mechanic offers hats to gentlemen that do not weigh more than an ounce and a half, and are recommended as particularly light and pleafant to thofe who have already too much on their heads. But I referve the more full difcuffion of this fubject for a future opportunity, of which I hope the recefs from Parliament will afford

me many.

As to what your correfpondent has fo feelingly remarked on the fneers and taunts to which gentlemen of his fraternity are expofed, it is a complaint of long flanding, and indeed wholly unaccountable on the principle of justice. I am forry to fay, that the world is very deficient in fympathy; and to this it is owing that a fit of the gout, a robbery on the highway, or a gafe of crim. con. are ranked among the ridiculous diftreffes of human life. In fome meafure, indeed, certain gentlemen have been enabled to retaliate by fuch a rich gilding of the capitals, as to excite envy and emulation; and I believe the late difcuffions in the Senate were honeftly meant to take away the reproach entirely, although it may be doubted whether this can be done by mere legislative power. When law and prejudice are at variance, it is easy to fee which will get the better.

On this fubject, however, I wish to hint, to your correfpondent, that gentlemen in his fituation are in part to blame for the ridicule thrown upon them. They have neglected to avail themselves of the safety of affociation, and the ftrength of confederacy. They

are confeffedly a numerous body; why then not a united body? Why not incorporated in fuch a manner as to prefent a dauntlefs front to the fneers of the world? Why not lay their heads together in the manner of the ancient teftudo? What could refift the firm, compact, and impenetrable (hield of a corneous confiftence? Then, Sir, recollect that to their ac quired ftrength are added the fafcinating and powerful circumftances of rank, title, and wealth; circumftances fo fingularly entwisted in the fate of cuckoldom, that they have fometimes been found to operate as caufe, and fometimes as effect. Confider, likewife, that at a time when abftract principles of government, the rights of man, French liberty, and I know not what befides, have feparated men into hoftile parties, here is a point on which all are agreed. A liberal fpirit has diffufed itfelf over the whole fyftem of cuckoldom, unfettered by political prejudices. The ladies, the prime movers in this bufinefs, to their immortal honour be it fpoken, have difdained to contaminate intrigue with politics. They are not of that class,

"Who, born for the universe, narrow the mind,
And to party give up what was meant for mankind."/

Of this independence of fpirit, this philanthropy of frailty, fome late trials have afforded moft pleafing inftances; and who can tell whether it may not tend to foften the afperities of party rancour, to teach the Whig a new mode of fupplanting the Tory, and give the Tory a title more than he had the ambition.

to afk?

Against fuch a confederacy, what could be oppofed by the fneers of the giddy, the gravity of the moralist, or the precept of the divine? Defendit numerus would be the unanfwerable argument to the cenfures of vulgar minds and that the number of "unfortunate gen→ temen" has increafed, and is increafing, we have

from

from the highest authority, although there are fome who contend that the increafe is rather in quality than in quantity. Referving this point to be difcuffed hereafter, I may be here permitted to afk, if there ar doubts upon the fubject, why did we lofe the opportunity of taking the population of cuckoldom, when that of the rest of the nation was taken? How easily might it have been done? All that was neceffary was to draw two more lines in the schedule, the one entitled Cuckolds, the other, Perfons employed in Cuckoldculture. The parish officers could have had no extra trouble on this head; because, if the mafter of the houfe were from home, his lady could have given the requifite information, or indeed any of the neighbours, who, it may be obferved, are remarkably converfant in fuch matters.

If it be objected that this fraternity would be too numerous for one club, or one place of meeting in the metropolis, I anfwer, that there is no neceffity for their meeting in one place. I am not for covering the wafte lands with club-rooms, nor for knocking down the partitions which divide the houfes in our fquares. That has been done pretty well already. No; the fociety might be divided into lodges like the Free Mafons, or into divisions, claffes, &c. each confiderable town to be provided with one at leaft, with perhaps the title of the Criminal Correfponding Society. The principal meeting from which all diverge, -as radii from the centre, to be of courfe in the metropolis ; and I have, indeed, feldom been at court, or the opera, or a fashionable rout, without fancying that I faw fomething of the kind already eftablifhed. But the more complete organization of this fociety, as it is a matter in which the nation at large, and particularly the ariftocracy of the country, is concerned, must be the fubject of further confideration.

REMARKS UPON NOTHING.

[From a Paris Paper.]

IN fpite of the wit with which the eyes of our fair readers generally infpire us, we cannot deny that we are on fome occafions afflicted with fuch a degree of mental fterility as to be utterly incapable of producing any thing at all fmart or entertaining. What muft we fay under fuch circumstances? Nothing, reply our fair readers. That is precifely what we have now refolved to do. But you will fay that Nothing is a very infignificant fubject. Is this really your opinion? For our part, on the contrary, we believe that Nothing is at prefent every thing. May not the greater num ber of the voluminous romances which confume fo much paper, and ftuff the fhelves of fo many libraries, be very fairly reduced to Nothing? Are they not made of Nothing? Are they not fold, or at leaft are they not read, for Nothing? What is obtained from reading them? Literally Nothing. How many people are there now-a-days, who, though originally Nothing, have, after being for a moment fomething, again relapfed into Nothing? What is there in moft cafes in thofe pretty heads which not unfrequently turn ours? Nothing. The young Olympe pleads for a divorce from the old Geronte, to whom the was married laft year. What is it he has been doing during the year of their marriage? Why truly he has been doing Nothing. What does the prude Orphife, who exclaims for loudly againft naked bofoms, concerf under her triple fur? Why, the conceals Nothing Can you conceive any thing more witty and fpirited than Mr. Sheridan's comedies, or more dull and infipid than the monftrous farees of Kotzebue? Nothing. Is there any thing more unhappy than the lot of an unfortunate ftock-jobber, more unfeeling than the heart of a rich mifer, more light than the vows of a

lover, more dull than the verfes of Small Ps? Still the anfwer is Nothing. You fee then that Nothing is every thing, and even above every thing, for what is wanting to what has every thing? But Nothing has nowhere fo great an influence as over the fair fex. They know how to pleafe with Nothing. With Nothing they play off all their attractions. A Nothing vexes and confoles them; a Nothing puts them out of humour, and the fame Nothing reftores them to cheerfulness; a Nothing gives them the vapours, and in its turn affords them pleafure and amufement. But we will not longer trefpafs on your patience with Nothing ; and therefore we fhall here clofe our remarks on Nothing

I

A LETTER FROM THE COUNTRY.

MR. ORACLE,

[From the Oracle.]

SEE often in your paper explanatory letters and paragraphs, intended to rectify mifreprefentation and vindicate innocence. May I hope that you will not refufe to me the juftice you do to fo many

others?

No perfon alive was ever more cruelly loaded with unjuft reproaches than I am at this moment.

You must know, Sir, that, of all the benefactors of polifhed mankind, I am, perhaps, the kindeft and the greateft. I give liveliness, ftrength, and delicacy, 10. every fenfe; I expand and exalt the imagination; I give to the understanding vigour and active energy; fupply all the varied abundance which fuftains and delights human life. In my company alone are the young educated in innocence, health, and a conftant How of fprightly joy. I preferve middle life in guiltlefs and beneficent activity; I provide a balmy folace for the infirmities and the fickly caprice and languor

of