The Funny Thing Is . . .

Front Cover
Simon and Schuster, Oct 28, 2003 - Humor - 192 pages
An indispensable reference for anyone who knows how to read—or wants to fool people into thinking they do—The Funny Thing Is... is sure to make you laugh.

Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book.

After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including:

-More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs.
-Thousands of observations on everyday life—from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem.
-All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.
 

Contents

A Message from the Author
1
The Brunch Bunch
9
Thats Why Prison Wouldnt Be So Bad
15
My Most Embarrassing Case Scenario
21
God What a Day
33
Gift Exchange or The Art of Believable Acting
39
Silence Is Golden
45
Making Your Life Count and Other Fun Things to Do with Your Time
51
The Controversial Chapter
103
The Chapter of Apologies
105
Dear Diary
107
A Scientific Treatise Regarding a Matter of Great Entomological Concern to All of Us
121
Its Just an Expression
123
Clothes I Have Regretted Wearing
131
The Odyssey
137
That Was Then or Then Was That or Anyway It Was Before Now
143

This Is How We Live
59
Pennypinching for Todays Gal or How to Land a Man
67
Working It Out
73
Smartishness
79
The Things That Are Bothering Me This Week
87
My Dad Was Like a Father to Me
91
The Serious Chapter
101
Ellens Personal Home Tour
149
Things to Be Grateful For
157
My SelfConscious or Check Me Out
163
The Last Chapter
171
Bonus Chapter
173
Copyright

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About the author (2003)

Ellen DeGeneres is an American stand-up comedian, actress, producer, and currently the Emmy Award–winning host of the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She has appeared in several films, including as the voice of "Dory" in Finding Nemo?, as well as the sitcom Ellen. In 1997, she came out publicly as a lesbian in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show and her character on Ellen came out short after. She currently lives in Los Angeles with her wife, Portia de Rossi. 

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